Because I Cannot Hurt You

He forgot…

Xiaosi forgot…

Deep within her heart, Caihong prayed hard for Xiaosi not to lose his memory. She knew that the chances were slim. The doctor had already warned her about it. But still, she held a tiny hope that Xiaosi would remember her.

But now that hope vanished too.

Who are you?

That question welled an insurmountable sadness in her heart. It pricked her to realize that he forgot about her and his love for her. A sense of loneliness enveloped her. His black irises were looking at her as if she was a stranger. There was nothing in them. His gaze felt blank and empty to her.

Dr. Cheng softly sighed.

As he had expected, Xiaosi indeed lost his memory.

"I…" Caihong whispered.

Dr. Cheng said, "It's okay. Let us take things slowly. We don't want to stress you out, Mr. Zhu."

Xiaosi blinked his eyes. "Mr. Zhu?"

He nodded. "Yes. That is your name. Zhu Xiaosi."

"But I don't remember it."

"It is natural after the seizure you had. I know everything will be really confusing to you, but rest assured. Allow me to explain."

Dr. Cheng slowly told him about his condition and how he suffered the most dangerous seizure up until now. That seizure had damaged his delicate nerves that connected to his memory, causing his memory loss.

Xiaosi's expression was grim as he learned everything. "I see…"

No wonder everything is so blank in my head…

"Please don't panic, Mr. Zhu. The best team of doctors is helping you and with proper treatment, your memory can be recovered. We just have to take things slowly. Don't force yourself to remember things or it may have a negative impact."

With no memories in him, Xiaosi did feel panic and hesitation creep in him. Losing one's identity was a scary thing.

But somehow, he felt himself calm down. When he looked at the woman beside him who seemed worried and concerned for him, he felt his fear settle down.

It was strange. He didn't know her. Yet he felt at ease around her. He felt that remembering nothing would make him feel lonely. But the woman's presence didn't let that feeling arise within him.

But the question that bothered him the most was why his heart beat so fast whenever he gazed at her?

Xiaosi threw a curious glance at everyone in his ward.

So all these people here...are my friends. I guess my life would have been good with so many friends around.

He peeked a glance at Caihong. He turned fidgety for no reason.

Is she also my friend?

Though he was happy to know that, somewhere he couldn't wish but…

Dr. Cheng checked his vitals. "Take rest, Mr. Zhu. If you feel any discomfort, then call me immediately."

He glanced at Caihong and she nodded. Together, they left the ward. Liang followed them too.

Outside, Caihong shut the door and asked, "How is Xiaosi?" The tension in her voice was unmistakable.

Liang sighed. "Xiaosi really forgot everything, huh…"

Dr. Cheng said, "It was to be expected. But Mr. Zhu took everything quite calmly which is a good sign."

"How long do you think it will take for him to get his memories back?"

"Honestly, I cannot say at this point. Memory is a tricky thing, and many variables affect how fast or slow one can recover them. But his damaged nerves could pose as an obstruction. That's why there are higher chances to recover only after his surgery. But we need time to prepare him for undergoing such a major surgery when he just had a dangerous seizure."

Caihong asked, "What about the past? I know that he shouldn't force himself to remember it but...can we tell him? Can I...Can I tell him about his family? Will it be too stressful?"

She silently curled her dress in her fist. He didn't remember her, but at least...if he knew that she was his wife then he wouldn't treat her and Chyou as strangers. At this point, that was more than enough for her.

Dr. Cheng nodded. "Yes, Mrs. Zhu. You can tell him about his family, but you also have to assure him that he shouldn't feel pressured to remember because he has a family. But looking at how he handled the situation until now, I can say that it won't cause any negative effect on him."

She felt relieved.

Liang smiled. "In fact, I should say that it's a good thing to reveal it. Memory loss is really scary and it's easy to feel disconnected and lonely. But if he knows that he has a family to support him, then Xiaosi's condition can improve."

Dr. Cheng agreed.

Inside the ward, everybody felt a little awkward as they faced Xiaosi. Last night, he was an enemy to everyone but now the situation drastically changed.

Zizi couldn't keep up with the silence anymore and exclaimed. "Oof! This silence is killing me! What are we hesitating for? It's not the end of the world. Xiaosi has forgotten about us. So, we just have to introduce ourselves. What's the big deal?"

She came forward and said, "I am Han Zizi. I am twenty-seven. I know you because we used to go to the same college."

Xiaosi was surprised.

Same college?

"In fact, not just me, everybody here as well. We were a sort of gang in the college," she arrogantly smirked.

Xiaosi raised his brow.

Ah Cy coughed. "Don't make it sound as if we were some thugs, Zizi."

Zizi snickered. "You definitely were, Ah Cy. How many guys did you beat up in all those years?"

Her mouth twitched.

Zizi realized something. She faced Xiaosi and said, "Oh wait! I am wrong. One of us here wasn't in the college with us."

Yunru, who was quietly standing in the corner, was suddenly grabbed by Zizi as she held his arm. "He is Soo Yunru, my fiance! He is a cop, so he went to the military for training at eighteen."

Yunru choked hard. Zizi actually introduced him as her fiance!

He stared at her aghast.

Princess, what about you chasing after me and winning my heart? Now I am suddenly your fiance!

"Haha Princess I…"

Zizi raised her foot and quietly stepped on his toes as she shot a deadly glare at him.

"..."

His lips pursed into a thin line. The threat in her eyes was evident.

Don't even dare to back out or else…

Yunru's mouth twitched.

Ah Cy curiously looked at them. "Since when did Zizi become so possessive of Yunru huh…?"

Zizi sheepishly grinned. "Ever since I realized that this lowly man is not that bad after all."

Yunru narrowed his eyes. She didn't meet his obvious accusatory gaze.

Xiaosi smiled. "I see. Fiance. Congratulations."

She brightened. "Thank you!" Then she went on, "She is Han Xinyi. My sister-in-law and Yunru's twin sister too."

"Oh…"

Xinyi smiled. She never thought that after how Xiaosi kidnapped her last night, she would still be talking so nicely to him.

Zizi pointed at Ah Cy. "She is Xu Ah Cy. Her husband who went out is Xu Liang."

Ah Cy smiled and waved at him to which he nodded.

"He is Han Zhiyuan - my elder brother and Xinyi's husband."

The atmosphere turned still as they faced each other. Until last night, Xiaosi hated Zhiyuan. He did everything he could to take revenge on him and Han Huizhong. But now, he looked at him with curiosity.

"Hi."

Zhiyuan faintly smiled. "Hey, Xiaosi."

Zizi added. "You two were best friends in college."

Zhiyuan stiffened at that.

Best friends... Indeed there was a time like that.

Only Zhiyuan knew how much he missed those days.

Xiaosi tilted his head. "'Were?' We aren't now?"

Zizi's mouth twitched.

Yunru chuckled. "Of course, you two still are. You both are simply fighting like little kids and then declare that you aren't best friends anymore. You two are really a handful."

Zizi coughed. "Yes, yes. It's like that!"

"Oh…" Xiaosi touched his chin. "Well, I don't remember now what we fought over. But I guess it's a good thing. We can leave that behind and be friends again. Right, Han Zhiyuan?"

Zhiyuan widened his eyes and stared at him. 

Be friends again.

He felt a mixture of joy and sadness in his heart by those words. A soft smile tugged his lips. "Yes. Let's leave those fights behind us. Also...call me Zhi."

Xiaosi was taken aback.

"Was that what I called you always?"

He nodded. "That is what you always called me."

Xiaosi smiled. "Alright. Zhi then it is."

Xinyi observed their interaction and words weren't enough to express how happy she felt to see them talking again. Even if it was because of Xiaosi's memory loss, she was nevertheless thankful.

The last one left to introduce was Shuang. But Zizi couldn't see her anywhere. She blinked her eyes and glanced around the room again, but Shuang wasn't present.

Where did Shuang go? Maybe after what happened last night, she…

Zizi smiled. "There is one more person, but she isn't here. I think she will meet you later."

Xiaosi nodded.

Then he twiddled his thumbs together as he wondered about something. "There is...one more person left, right? Who is that woman who stayed beside me until now?"