Because I Cannot Hurt You

Zhiyuan turned the page and read the date.

16th April 2012. It was nine years back.

'Today was another beautiful day in spring. I had just turned eighteen a few days back and today was my first day in college. Gosh, I was so nervous. It will be a new life out of high school. New things always scare me. Meeting new people always makes me nervous. I wondered the whole time if I would make any friends today, but knowing how I was, I was sure I wouldn't be able to do it. It is hard to approach people and talk. I become a nervous wreck and run away. That's why I didn't have any friends in school either.'

'Haha, I was so afraid to leave from home that Yunru smacked me hard on my head saying, "Sis, you will be just fine! And you will make great friends too! So stop worrying and get going!" Even though Yunru is younger than me by two minutes, I always felt that he is the elder one among us. He is so confident and unafraid that I envy him many times.'

'The first day went fairly well. I saw a group of seniors playing basketball and others doing their club activities. When I entered my class, I saw a bunch of students gathered around a beautiful girl. I heard her name was Han Zizi and is a rich heiress of the Han family. She was really pretty and I wished to talk to her too, but I was too nervous. I also wondered if we could be friends in the first place. Our worlds were so different.

I sat on a bench and saw a girl sleeping on the desk next to mine. I thought that my day would pass by quietly as usual, but she suddenly asked me for my textbook. She looked frustrated for some reason and there were dark circles under her eyes. Then she introduced herself as An Shuang.'

'She was a strange girl. I thought she asked for my textbook to study, but instead, she took its cover and slept again. I was so speechless! She slept the whole time in class and wasn't caught even once! I was so worried for the whole time that the professor would catch her….

Then she handed my textbook back and even thanked me for being her accomplice. Me and accomplice!? I really had no words to say to her. But it was because of her that I felt my anxiety fading away. Even though we talked only a few sentences, she seemed to be a nice girl, and I felt that we could be friends. I really hope we do.'

From the next day, Xinyi and Shuang had gradually started to talk more and more and just like she hoped, they became good friends. Zhiyuan unhurriedly read through her experiences and reached the day when she met Zizi.

3rd May 2012.

'Today came as a big shock to me.

I always thought that Han Zizi and I could never be friends but we talked today and all because of Shuang. I came to know that Shuang and Han Zizi know each other as friends! Not just that but I also learned that Shuang is from a rich family too! I never felt that I was talking to a rich heiress this whole time!

Han Zizi didn't talk to her since the first day because she was mad at Shuang for not giving her the game she wanted to play. So she was on a silent protest. I secretly giggled though. She said she would never talk to her, but she came herself in the end. I found that cute.

Shuang introduced me and I was nervous again. Ahhh I thought about running away. I wondered if she would think less of me because of our status, but Han Zizi spoke nicely contrary to my thoughts. I sensed pride in her and a little bit of arrogance, but she wasn't mean. But she didn't act too close either. I still felt that she was a bit distant from me. Nevertheless, the start wasn't bad.

But somehow the day turned out to be an incredible one. When I was in the washroom, I heard some girls badmouthing Han Zizi. They said she was too arrogant and spoiled just because she was rich. I know I only met her once today, but I felt angry at them for speaking like that about her. Han Zizi acted a little haughty indeed, but she isn't superficial. She isn't pretentious.

I don't like confrontations, but I politely told them that they thought wrong about her. I felt like I had to. They got really mad at me and I got really afraid. One of them was about to hit me, but to my shock, Han Zizi came out of one cubicle. The girls were shocked and quickly ran away. They never thought that she was there the whole time listening to them.

I felt bad for her. That must be hurtful but she laughed at me for being stupid for caring about their opinions. She thanked me for standing up for her. She said she was a little distant from me because she thought that I befriended Shuang due to her money and status, but I proved her wrong today.

I was sooooooo happy! Today was the best day because along with Shuang, Han Zizi accepted me too. I never thought I would have any friends, but now I had two precious ones who cared about me.

Yes! I declare that today is officially the best day in my life!'

7th May 2012.

'You know what, diary? I thought that the day I made friends with Shuang and Zizi was the best day. It holds a really important place in my heart and always will. But I have to admit that it's today which is the best day for me until now.

Do you know why?

Because I fell in love today. Because I met the man I fell in love with.

Han Zhiyuan.'