Because I Cannot Hurt You

"Yes, yes come quickly. The rain is pouring in. Let's head inside. Oh and you are hurt too. Look at your temple."

"I am fine. Please treat her first," Xiaosi said.

Caihong looked at him for a moment and then averted her gaze.

"Yes, yes. Come with us."

"I will call Elder Sun. He is the village doctor here."

He sighed in relief. "Thank you so much."

Caihong smiled and thanked them too.

Just in one hut next to where Zhiyuan and Xinyi were resting, Xiaosi entered the hut carrying Caihong, not knowing that they were in the same village too.

---

Zizi stepped out of her car and the salty air of the beach brushed past her cheeks that fluttered her hair behind. She stepped inside and looked around when she finally found Yunru sitting on the sand with his body lopsiding left and right. Empty cans and bottles of alcohol were spread around him like trash.

Zizi rushed up to his side and was shocked to see him so intoxicated. She shook his shoulder. "Yunru! What are you doing here like this?"

It took her great patience to make him spit out his location at the beach. He was so delirious that it was hard to make him give a normal response.

"Gosh, you are so drunk!"

"Hm…?" Yunru raised his head and through his hazy sight, he recognized her. He brightly smiled. "Princess Han Zizi! So you came here to meet this lowly man. Hahaha…"

Her mouth twitched.

"What is wrong with you? Why have you drunk so much? And why are you at the beach here?"

Yunru burst into laughter. "Because I have nowhere else to go, Princess…"

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

He chuckled. He patted beside him and said, "Come sit beside me. Let's talk about life!"

Zizi looked at all the trash and her brow twitched. She hesitated for a few seconds, but then she kicked the cans away and sat beside him.

Yunru took another sip and she quickly grabbed it from his hand. "Stop drinking already!"

His gaze dimmed as it laced in pain and sadness. "Princess...if I stop drinking, then reality will *hiccup* come knocking at my door…and I... don't want to face it anymore…"

Zizi didn't understand a thing and the context. But looking at him so broken-hearted for the first time made her shook.

When she lifted her eyes to look at him again, she was stunned to see tears streaming down his cheeks while a painful smile was etched on his lips. He was laughing, but it was tearing his heart into pieces.

In his drunkenness, his head softly collapsed on her shoulder as he leaned for support. She froze.

"Princess... Princess…" he mumbled with a soft voice.

Zizi didn't know why, but tears plopped down her cheeks too. "H-Hm?" She choked.

"Princess…" Yunru looked up at the night sky as he admitted with a heavy heart, "I am really tired, Princess. I am...so tired now…"

With that meek and lonely voice, Zizi felt as if somebody stabbed her heart. She had never seen Yunru so vulnerable before. He was always so confident, chatty and sarcastic. And strangely enough, she preferred that he would always be on his joyful side over this weak and vulnerable one.

"Tired? Why?" She softly asked. She knew this wasn't the time to act haughty and mean to him.

Yunru slumped but he didn't respond.

She pursed her lips. "Is it work?"

Yunru sadly smiled. "I...wish it had been simply *hiccup* work, Princess…"

Zizi said, "Then why are you tired?"

A loud wave crashed on the shore and a gust of strong wind blew on the beach. 

He didn't speak for a long time. Zizi wondered if he fell asleep after drinking so much. She peeked a bit and her eyes widened at the sight. She felt as if her heart had stopped beating, seeing Yunru silently cry.

Yunru didn't make any sound as he silently shed tears. A tear slipped from his eyelashes to her shoulder. The warm and moist tear drop made her feel choked in her throat. 

"H-Hey don't cry," she panicked. She had no idea what was wrong with him today. She didn't know why he was hurt so much today. What was painful that he was bottling in his heart all alone?

"Yunru please don't cry okay! I-I-"

What to do? What to talk about? How to console him? And for what to console him?

Zizi was confused and anxious. Her mind went blank. She hadn't consoled anyone before. She didn't know what to do in such an emotional state.

The only thing she could think of to do right now was what Zhiyuan used to do whenever she would feel sad and depressed.

Zizi hesitantly raised her hand and started patting his head. "Everything will be fine."

The warm pats on his head made Yunru choke even more. His laugh croaked. "It feels as if *hiccup* sis is patting me hehe...she also smiles at me and then...pats my head like this…*hiccup*"

"Is that so?" 

"En. And then...I place my head on her lap *hiccup* and...she keeps patting me until I *hiccup* fall asleep."

Even though he was laughing, his tears didn't stop.

"Oh...then my bro is the same," she smiled. 

"Haha...sis and brother-in-law are the same hehe...they make a good couple. But…"

"But?"

"But...when will that time come for me?" 

Zizi blinked her eyes.

"It's been seven years now *hiccup* but she still doesn't look at me…"

She froze. For a moment she felt disoriented. She instinctively understood who he was talking about.

Her lips trembled. "Y-your girlfriend?"

He didn't accept nor deny. "Princess... whenever I feel that I am so close to reaching her...fate always makes her go farther away from me again and again." He raised his hand and was waving it in the air. "See?" He chuckled, "She is like air. No matter *hiccup* how much I try to catch her...she always, always slips out of my hand."

Zizi was stunned by his confession. 

"And then in the end...my palm is always empty. Why? When will she...fall in love with me? I am waiting... waiting for so long…" 

Zizi bit her lip and her eyes glistened in tears. She didn't understand how it was possible?

He was in a relationship with a woman that meant that of course, they liked each other, right? Otherwise, why would they be dating?

"She... doesn't love you?"

That question was a thorn to his heart. It was brutal but the truth.

"Princess...I am a *hiccup* good man you know. I love her so much. I will, I will always keep her happy. I will never look at *hiccup* other women. She...will be the one always in my heart…"

At that moment, everything went silent for Zizi. The more she heard how deeply he loved that woman, the more her heart felt crushed. Tears streamed down her cheeks and this time she just let them flow away. Every word was twisting her chest in pain.

"But why...why can I not make her forget that man? Every time she thinks of him, I feel as if I lost once again…I have been losing like this for... seven years now Princess…and that's why I feel so tired. How long *hiccup* do I have to keep losing like this until...she looks at me?"

Yunru sobbed on her shoulder. Zizi lowered her head and asked, "You... really love her that much?"

He chuckled. "More than my life."

"I-If she doesn't love you then why are you with her?"

Yunru laughed. "I am helpless too, Princess...I am helpless *hiccup* before my heart. This…" he pointed at his chest, "doesn't want to give up yet...this thing in my chest doesn't want to let her go. So it always gives one more chance... maybe who knows, this time I will win?"

Zizi burst into tears. Yunru drowsily looked at her and frowned. "Why is Princess crying huuuhh?" He tilted his head.

She covered her mouth and sobbed hard. She gasped, unable to bear the pain tearing apart her chest. Yunru lifted his head and gasped. "Princess is crying! H-Hey...I-I didn't do anything okay…? *Hiccup* I am innocent!"

Zizi sniffled and glanced at him. "You…"

"Hm?" 

"If someone else told you that she will love you, then will you give her a chance?"

"Huuuuhhh? I didn't hear youuuuu!" 

Zizi chuckled as she wiped her tears. She had quietly whispered it to herself.

Of course, you wouldn't hear it, stupid. Why did I even ask that question? I-It's got nothing to do with me anyway.

Yunru asked, "Why are you crying…? I was crying. But then you started crying?" He tilted his head.

Zizi got up and pulled his arm. "Forget about it. You are completely hopeless now. Get up. I will do you a favor and drop you home."