Because I Cannot Hurt You

Zhiyuan stood up and gave a deep bow. "Thank you so much. You...you have no idea how grateful I am to you."

He nodded. "It's my duty as a doctor. We will leave now. Inform me immediately once she wakes up."

They left the small hut. Zhiyuan finally collapsed in relief. From the moment he saw Xinyi flowing away to how she fell and then seeing her unconscious made him tired. The rapid thudding in his chest, the fear tightening his stomach began to calm down as he saw her breathe steadily.

Zhiyuan tremblingly held her hand and rested his forehead as he broke down into tears. When he saw how unmoving and lifeless she felt in his arms, he thought for real that he lost her forever. She was so pale and weak. The thought of her death sent shivers down his spine. The thought of her not alive and breathing anymore gave him the chills. His whole life with her came flashing by in his eyes. 

He cried for a long time as his fingers tightly intertwined against hers. His tears plopped on her hand and his trembling warm breath fanned upon it. His gasps softly echoed throughout the hut. He slowly raised his head, his eyes slightly red from his sad outburst. He wiped his tears and stared at her in silence.

Xinyi would go this far to protect him…

He knew why she shook off his hand. He knew the precarious situation he was in. But instead of clutching onto his hand to save her life, she let it go and chose to die to save his. Without hesitation and without fear, she chose to lose her only means of help even if it meant to die.

Zhiyuan slowly sat beside her and held her cheek. It was still a little cold. The color of her lips was slowly returning though. His thumb brushed across her cheek and he leaned in. 

He looked at her delicate features. His heart thumped in his chest, loud and clear. He cupped her face with his hands and whispered, "Xinyi. Don't...ever do that again."

Once again a tear slid onto her cheek. His lips trembled as he smiled. "Don't scare me like that Xinyi. Don't shake off my hand like that. Don't leave me alone forever Don't get ready to die for my sake because…"

"Because I love you Xinyi."

He leaned and softly pressed his lips onto hers. A few moments later, he parted away.

"I love you Xinyi. I really love you so much that I cannot bear to lose you. That moment when I saw you disappear was the worst moment of my life. You were there and then you weren't. You have no idea how I felt. Xinyi, don't make me so indebted to you that I won't ever be able to pay you back. Don't give up your life for me because my own life will cease to exist. I love you, Xinyi. Don't make me lose my love when I have just realized my feelings for you."

---

It had already turned dark and the strong winds were making Xiaosi's path much more difficult to walk and find a clear road. 

"Hold onto me tightly. It's rough ahead."

Caihong pursed her lips and tightened her hold over his neck. As they kept walking, she peeked at him from time to time. As she stared at his chiseled jaw and the serious gaze, she recalled how he fought those bandits. 

"You will dare touch my wife!? Like hell I will let you do that!"

That Xiaosi was so different. The rage, the anger, the danger surrounding him felt so lethal as if somebody intruded upon his territory. That fierce side of his was what she had never seen. It almost felt as if the time she spent with him all these years was an illusion.

Were the seven years a lie? Or was today a misunderstanding? 

Didn't he always hate her? Then why did he act so possessive of her today?

Didn't he always trouble her? Then why did he choose to save her today?

Wasn't he always so rude and harsh to her? Then why was he so carefully holding onto her right now as if she was someone so precious to him?

Caihong couldn't wrap her head around it. Ever since the day Xiaosi believed in her in the hospital and helped her prove innocent, she felt as if she would sometimes see a different side of him. 

Who was the real Xiaosi? The one who ruined her dignity and her life seven years ago? Or the one right now who saved her from losing her dignity to those bandits?

So many questions and so many sides... Caihong didn't know which one to believe.

Xiaosi felt her silently staring at him for a long time now. He raised his brow as he looked at her.

"What are you looking at?" He smiled. "Thinking of strangling me? Do it. It's a good chance for you."

Caihong snapped out from her trance. Suddenly, she felt as if the spot where he held her waist was heating up a notch every passing moment. 

"I wish. But if I kill you, who will get me out of here?" She gritted her teeth.

"How about the bandits?" He chuckled. "They know the forest so well."

She glared at him as if she would kill him by her gaze alone. "Funny, isn't it?"

Suddenly, they felt tiny drops of rain drizzling on them. 

Damn! Just great! The storm is here.

Caihong widened her eyes. "Rain...what will we do now?"

"I can see some fire in the front. I think we can get some help there."

Caihong furrowed her brows and craned her neck. She saw fire lighting up at a distance and some villagers scurrying here and there.

"But what if it's a bandit's hideout?"

"They are villagers. I can see some huts there. I can see some kids running around too."

As Xiaosi approached closer, some of the villager's attention went onto them. They glanced at them in surprise and hurried over to their side. "Are you two lost?"

Xiaosi nodded. "We are in trouble. My wife is injured in her ankle. She is unable to walk and in this rain, we don't have any place to go. Will you give us some help and shelter?"

The women whispered. "Oh dear, this is the second couple on the same day."