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He shoved his free hand deep into his pocket. He watched the 4th Unit fighting the aquatic golems. The golems were massive. They had dark blue stone bodies. Coral grew on their shoulders. They swung their tridents wildly.

"These non-playable characters are very annoying," Ken mumbled. He watched a golem march toward Laxmi. "They just keep spawning. It is an endless mob wave. Laxmi is going to get tired. If she gets tired, she will complain. I do not like complaining. That is my job."

Ken decided to help. He did not stand up. He did not drop his bag of chips. He stayed perfectly seated on his broken column. He slouched even lower. He made sure nobody was looking at him.

He pulled his left hand out of his pocket. He formed a tiny shape with his fingers. He pointed his index finger directly at the marching aquatic golem. He stuck his tongue out of the corner of his mouth. He squinted one eye.

"Pew," Ken whispered softly. The word made absolutely zero sound.

He fired a tiny, invisible cyan bullet from his fingertip. The magic zipped across the room. It bypassed the chaotic brawl entirely. It hit the aquatic golem right in the center of its rocky chest.

There was no explosion. There was no flash of light. Ken simply scrambled the monster's magical core. He messed up its internal programming. He cast defunctionalizing magic.

The golem suddenly stopped walking. It lifted its right foot. It tried to step forward. Its leg jerked awkwardly. The golem twisted its own ankle. It tripped over its own giant stone feet. The massive monster tumbled forward. It crashed face-first onto the marble floor. Its rusted trident slid across the wet stones.

Laxmi blinked in surprise. She lowered her flaming fists. She stared at the fallen monster.

"Wow," Laxmi laughed loudly. "Did you see that? The big rock guy just tripped! He is incredibly clumsy!"

"Pew," Ken whispered again.

Another invisible bullet shot across the room. It tapped a second golem on the shoulder. The golem raised its trident to strike Zinia. The magic scrambled its aim. The golem swung its weapon entirely in the wrong direction. It smashed its trident into a nearby stone wall. The weapon got completely stuck in the bricks. The golem pulled and yanked. It could not get its weapon free.

Zinia grinned a tough, confident grin. She punched the stuck golem in the side. The monster shattered into a pile of rubble.

"These guardians have terrible balance," Zinia noted. She dusted off her hands. "The ancient magic must be failing. They are falling apart on their own."

"Pew. Pew," Ken mumbled lazily. He chewed another potato chip.

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He fired two more invisible bullets. One hit a golem on the left. The other hit a golem on the right.

The left golem suddenly spun around in a circle. It looked completely dizzy. It swung its arms wildly. It accidentally punched a 4th Unit soldier right in the face. The soldier flew backward and crashed into a pillar.

The right golem tried to march forward. Its knees buckled. It did a bizarre, jerky dance step. It looked exactly like a broken toy. It fell backward and crushed another 4th Unit fighter.

Sayma watched the strange behavior. She pushed her glasses up. She opened her notebook. She clicked her pen rapidly.

"This is highly unusual," Sayma observed politely. She wrote a quick note. "The aquatic golems are experiencing a massive systemic failure. Their motor functions are completely degrading. Their targeting algorithms are completely broken."

Ira stared blankly at a stumbling monster. "Statistically speaking, thousands of years underwater degrades magical joints. Their structural integrity is currently at fifteen percent. They are malfunctioning."

"I love malfunctioning monsters!" Laxmi cheered. She threw a fireball at a dizzy golem. The golem exploded into dust. "This is turning into a very easy fight! They cannot even walk straight!"

Ken smiled a goofy, relaxed smile. He popped his collar with one hand.

"I am an absolute master of crowd control," Ken bragged silently in his mind. "I am applying a massive debuff to the entire enemy team. I am lowering their agility stats to zero. This is a very efficient strategy. It requires zero cardio. My heart rate is perfectly normal. I am the best support player in the world."

The 4th Unit warriors looked completely furious. Gideon smashed a stumbling golem with his metal gauntlets. He breathed very fast. Sweat rolled down his face.

"What is wrong with these stupid rocks?!" Gideon roared angrily. He kicked a piece of rubble. "They are getting in our way! They are falling all over the place! Push through them! We need to grab that relic!"

The rival soldiers tried to push forward. They swung their broadswords. They swung their axes. But the clumsy golems constantly blocked their path. The golems slipped on the wet floor. They crashed into the 4th Unit. They created a massive, chaotic blockade.

The 13th Unit held their ground easily. Sayma maintained her golden barriers. Zinia built more rock walls. Luna fired lazy lightning bolts. The girls did not have to work very hard. The enemies defeated themselves.

Ken ate another chip. He leaned his head against a piece of broken stone.

"This is going great," Ken thought lazily. "The girls are perfectly safe. The bad guys are totally frustrated. I just get to sit here and enjoy my snacks. It is a flawless afternoon. I just wish I had a comfortable chair. This rock is making my pants very dusty."

He looked across the room again. He stared at the pitch-black dome.

The Shadow Domain remained completely solid. It sat in the middle of the chamber like a giant, dark sphere. No sound came from inside. No light escaped the dark magic. Princess Iris and Naomi were still trapped inside with the legendary assassin.

Ken frowned slightly. He chewed his potato chip a little bit slower.

"They have been in there for a long time," Ken reasoned silently. "The boss fight is taking way too many chapters. Naomi is usually very fast. She likes to finish things quickly. If she is taking this long, the boss must have a very annoying gimmick."

Ken knew Naomi was incredibly strong. He knew Princess Iris was a brilliant tactician. But the assassin used dark magic. He used sneaky, unfair tricks.

Ken thought about Naomi. He liked her. She did not yell at him anymore. She made great sandwiches. She smiled warmly at him. He wanted her to be safe. He wanted her to come out of the dark dome. He needed her to make lunch later.

"I need to wrap this up," Ken decided casually. "If Naomi gets too tired, she will be very cranky later. She will not want to cook dinner. I really want her to make those grilled cheese sandwiches. The ones with the crispy edges. I absolutely refuse to miss out on grilled cheese."

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