Chapter 266 - 263: Dispelling

Chapter 266: Chapter 263: Dispelling

"Bao’er, I..." Li Xiu looked at Zhou Lian, flustered. He didn’t know what to say. He knew he couldn’t hide anything from her, but he didn’t dare to speak. He was afraid that if he said it, everything he had now would vanish into thin air, and his life would be worse than death.

Pulling Li Xiu over to a seat in the scenic gazebo, Zhou Lian settled gently into his lap, just as she had the last time he’d had an emotional breakdown. "Jin Chen," she said softly, "you know we’ve been husband and wife for two lifetimes. What’s more, our feelings for each other aren’t like anyone else’s. You were willing to die for me, bringing our fated love in this life to its perfect conclusion. Is there really anything we can’t say to each other now?"

"Bao’er, I don’t know how to tell you. I thought after we were so honest with each other last time... since you love me so deeply... I thought there was nothing more I could possibly want. I thought the unresolved issues from our past life were finally settled. But sometimes, in the dead of night, I’m terrified that this wonderful life we have now is like a firework—beautiful, but fleeting. Bao’er, the last time I broke down, you asked if I would have done something to hurt you had you broken things off with me then. Bao’er, I’m so scared. I’m afraid I can’t control myself!" Li Xiu clung to Zhou Lian, his expression on the verge of shattering as he spoke, his voice fragile.

Zhou Lian looked at him and gave a helpless laugh. "Jin Chen, that hypothetical is completely baseless. Let’s not even discuss whether you would hurt me, because I would never break things off with you in the first place. Haven’t I told you how much I care about you, how much I love you? As long as I’m by your side, will you really break down? Jin Chen, you’re just tying yourself in knots over nothing. Why are you dwelling on things that will never happen? We’re so happy right now, aren’t we?"

Reaching out, she gently smoothed his furrowed brow. "You didn’t really fail me in our past life," she said softly. "We were both at fault. What’s happened is in the past, and we can’t change it. But in this life, you treat me like a priceless treasure, doting on me with all your heart, and I love you just as deeply. Let’s walk hand in hand through the rest of this life. And if the heavens grant us another chance, I want to marry you all over again in the next life and be the happiest woman in the world."

"Can we? Can we really do that, Bao’er?" Li Xiu asked, watching her nervously, seeking reassurance.

"And why couldn’t we? I love you with all my heart, for one. And you’re a man; you should understand men’s baser nature. How many of them are capable of what you do? It’s said that the world is full of devoted lovers, but look throughout history—that term almost always refers to women. How many men could do the same? Most men care about country and power, and women always come second. But Jin Chen, you know you aren’t like that. In your heart, I’m the most important person. To you, everyone else in this world—including our daughter and son—all of them put together don’t matter as much as a single Zhou Lian. Jin Chen, being fortunate enough to meet you and marry you across two lifetimes is the greatest gift the heavens have ever bestowed upon me!"

Gently stroking Li Xiu’s face, Zhou Lian couldn’t help but think, ’This man is so calm and composed in public, his intelligence almost supernatural, but in front of me, he’s like a child. When it comes to our relationship, he’s always so anxious, and even now, he’s plagued by self-doubt and insecurity!’

"Bao’er, is that true? Is that really what you think of me?" Li Xiu asked, a mixture of joy and nervousness in his voice.

She gave him a light kiss and said with a smile, "Jin Chen, it’s been two lifetimes. You’ve given your all to love me, stood by me through life and death, and cherished and doted on me with all your heart. Even my own mother can’t believe how well you treat me. How many men in this world are capable of that? How could I possibly take such blessings for granted? Besides, I love you dearly, too!"

Hearing Zhou Lian’s words, Li Xiu fell silent, lost in thought. ’Bao’er is right. The scenarios I’m imagining are impossible. So what am I so afraid of? For her, I could overturn this entire world. For her, I could just as easily bring ruin upon it!’

’Bao’er is so perceptive; she must understand how I feel. So what am I agonizing over? I should just love her, cherish her, and enjoy all the beauty this world has to offer with her—all of its joys and sorrows!’

"Figured it out?" Zhou Lian asked softly, looking at the man before her with a hint of helpless affection.

He kissed Zhou Lian, a little embarrassed. ’For all my vaunted intelligence and unparalleled strategy,’ he thought, ’my brain just short-circuits when it comes to anything related to my Bao’er.’ He looked at her gently. "Bao’er, it won’t happen again. I won’t lose control of myself anymore, and I won’t let my imagination run wild. I already possess the most wonderful thing in this entire world!"

Seeing that Li Xiu’s mood had stabilized, Zhou Lian asked gently, though with a hint of exasperation, "Jin Chen, tell me, why are you always so insecure when you’re with me? Why do you have such low self-esteem?"

"I don’t know," Li Xiu said in a small voice. "I just... I’m always thinking about how wonderful you are, and I worry that you’ll get tired of me, that you’ll stop loving me!" It was an emotion he couldn’t control just by wanting to.

With a sigh, Zhou Lian said gently, "Jin Chen, do you really think anyone else would treat me the way you do? Indifferent to wealth, unconcerned with power, devoted to me and me alone, ready to offer me the entire world with both hands. What’s more, your intelligence and your talents are second to none. You’ve used your abilities to build a life of luxury for me. You’ve used your extraordinary cunning to secure a brilliant future for Ping’an and to grant me a life of peace and stability! Jin Chen, I, Zhou Lian, look up to you. I adore you!"

Li Xiu’s heart surged, and he hugged Zhou Lian tightly in his excitement. ’His Bao’er said she looks up to him!’

Zhou Lian thought for a moment. ’I need to do the same thing I did last time and completely crush these insecurities he has around me. Otherwise, dealing with these episodes every now and then will be exhausting!’

"Look at the corner of the River Qi, with the green bamboos so fresh and lush! There is an elegant gentleman, like bone carved and filed, like jade cut and polished. So dignified, so commanding! So brilliant, so distinguished! An elegant gentleman, he can never be forgotten. Look at the corner of the River Qi, with the green bamboos so thick and green! There is an elegant gentleman, his ear-plugs of beautiful gems, his cap-gems like stars. So dignified, so commanding! So brilliant, so distinguished! An elegant gentleman, he can never be forgotten. Look at the corner of the River Qi, with the green bamboos in a dense array! There is an elegant gentleman, like gold, like tin, like a scepter of jade. How magnanimous and gentle! He is skilled in jest and wit, yet never cruel. An elegant gentleman, my heart loves him dearly!"

"Jin Chen, do you remember? I once confessed my feelings to you with the pre-Qin poem, *Qi Ou*. Jin Chen, you are the ’elegant gentleman’ of my heart, a radiant pearl illuminating the world. In my mind, no one compares to you!" Gritting her teeth, Zhou Lian recited the same poem she had used to confess to him before. ’This melodramatic man really keeps testing my patience! But... oh well. It’s rare for him to show me his most wretched, fragile side. He’s my man, so it’s up to me to spoil him.’

Seeing Zhou Lian’s face flushed red with shyness, Li Xiu kissed her passionately. It took him a long while to compose himself. Her words had completely swept away all the chaotic thoughts in his mind. ’That’s right,’ he thought. ’Bao’er said I’m her "elegant gentleman, a radiant pearl illuminating the world"!’