Chapter 265 - 262: Li Xiu’s Fear

Chapter 265: Chapter 262: Li Xiu’s Fear

Li Xiu went to his two children’s study. Seeing his daughter and son focused on their schoolwork, he smiled, and without disturbing them, quietly backed out of the room. He spoke to Sister Fang, who was waiting in the small sitting room, "Sister Fang, bring the kids some fruit or something in a bit, and let them rest for a while!"

After watching Sister Fang nod in agreement, he slowly made his way into the garden. Taking a deep breath, Li Xiu ambled along the small garden path. It was rare to have a moment alone to collect his thoughts. It wasn’t that he was unable to do so when he was with Zhou Lian; rather, when he was with his Bao’er, he had no mind to think of anything else. His entire heart and soul were devoted to Bao’er!

’Life now is so wonderful it feels like a dream. In my career, I’ve been highly successful. In a city like the Capital City, which is full of powerful people, the name Li Jincheng is so well-known that while I might not be completely untouchable, I’m close. As long as I don’t court disaster, I have already obtained everything I ever wanted.’

’The Ping Family... Thanks to my intervention, Elder Ping’s once-failing health has been nursed back to a robust state. Moreover, Ping’an is already on a path different from his previous life. With my backing, his ascent to the top in this lifetime is no mere fantasy. Everyone in the Capital City has a tacit understanding of the future: for the next few decades, the Ping Family will remain the leaders at the center of power!’

’Back in my hometown, Grandma Li is in reasonably good health. My younger siblings are all determined to test into the Capital City to reunite with their eldest brother and sister-in-law. With Li Xiu and Zhou Lian as their powerful brother and sister-in-law for support, my married younger sisters are living even more blissful lives than in the last one.’

’Most importantly, my precious daughter and beloved son are as sensible and well-behaved as they were in the last life, but they are far more clever. It makes sense, really. In the past life, no matter how smart they were, I was the only one who could teach them. But I never had enough time; I had to earn money to support my family and my younger siblings. And although Zhou Lian was intelligent, she lacked a formal education. She could teach them manners and how to navigate the world, but she couldn’t teach them academics. This life is completely different. Not only do I have ample time to begin their education, but both Zhou Lian and I have lived an entire extra life. Plus, Zhou Lian is a top student from Beijing University!’

’And that’s not even mentioning Professor Xiao and Professor Fan. The starting point for the children’s education is worlds apart from their last life. How could Nuonuo and Yanyan, already exceptionally bright, not surpass their past selves? Especially when Professor Xiao and Professor Fan are even more attentive to the two children than they are to Zhou Lian, their own official disciple!’

’In truth, for me, all of these things are external. Having them is merely icing on the cake; I wouldn’t force the issue if I didn’t have them. But Zhou Lian... she is my heart’s truest desire. Only with Zhou Lian could my life, Li Jincheng’s life, be considered complete!’

’Ever since I laid my cards on the table with Zhou Lian, I’ve been in a daze, reeling from the sudden joy. I never imagined that Zhou Lian, after learning the truth, would forgive me so easily and even reciprocate my feelings. I haven’t had a moment to quiet my mind and truly process everything. It’s been one thing after another. The man I called my father passed away. To say I wasn’t sad at all would be a lie—after all, the man was my biological father.’

’Then, just after arranging my father’s funeral back in my hometown and before I could even get my emotions in order, Ping’an suddenly returned to the Capital City for a family visit. Zhou Lian and I were thrown into another whirlwind of activity. After seeing Ping’an off, we were left with Liu Shengnan—another responsibility we shouldered. We’ll have to train her properly, one way or another.’

’It’s a rare moment to organize my thoughts. I’m thirty years old this year, yet I already hold everything I ever wanted in my hands. There’s nothing to worry about. Besides, I’ve already laid out numerous plans to ensure the futures of the Ping Family, Ping’an, and the Li family will all be prosperous and secure.’

’I feel confident and in control of everything else, but when it comes to Zhou Lian, I always feel as if I’m in a dream. The memory of Zhou Lian’s indifference in our past life, and her final, placid gaze, are like two thorns buried in my heart, pricking me from time to time. I know my Bao’er wouldn’t lie to me. Moreover, given her fastidious and resolute nature, she would never treat matters of the heart as a joke. Yet, I can never feel confident that she loves me as fiercely as I love her.’

’What am I to do? I’m becoming more and more greedy. Before, all I wanted was to love her, dote on her, and ensure she lived a happy, joyful life. But now, I’m increasingly dissatisfied. I constantly long for her to reciprocate my feelings—and not just reciprocate. I greedily crave for her to be just like me, willing to stay with me through life and death, to the ends of the earth, never to be separated, not even by death itself!’

’In my last life, my son secretly took me to see a doctor—a psychologist. But I didn’t think there was anything wrong with me. All I, Li Xiu, have ever wanted across two lifetimes is Zhou Lian. How could that possibly be a psychological problem?’

’But that doctor had said I was obsessively possessive, and that if I didn’t find a way to release some of that pressure, I might do something to hurt Zhou Lian. I don’t think I would ever hurt her, though... But remembering the last time I lost control, a wave of fear washes over me in hindsight. If Zhou Lian hadn’t soothed me then, if she had broken things off with me right there... would I truly not have done something to hurt her?’

Far in the distance, Li Xiu stood motionless beneath a bare pomegranate tree. Having come from the study, Zhou Lian asked Sister Fang where he was. When she heard he was in the garden, she went to look for him out of curiosity. She was perplexed, however. The Li Xiu she saw now exuded an aura of desolation and despair.

"Jin Chen!" Zhou Lian called out gently as she walked toward him.

Lost in thought, Li Xiu reacted instinctively. The moment he heard Zhou Lian’s voice, his body and mouth moved faster than his mind could process. He turned to face her and said tenderly, "What brings you here, Bao’er? Weren’t you going to discuss your ’treasures’ with Professor Xiao?"

"The professor is very busy right now; he doesn’t have time for me. I couldn’t find you, so I asked Sister Fang and learned you were in the garden. Jin Chen, what’s wrong?" Zhou Lian replied softly, her own question tinged with confusion. She knew this man too well. ’The Li Xiu from a moment ago... something must have happened, or he must have been thinking about something!’

Gently taking Zhou Lian’s hand, Li Xiu somewhat evasively mumbled, "Bao’er, are you tired? I’ll go with you to rest for a while?"

"Li Jincheng, look at me!" Seeing his reaction, Zhou Lian sensed things were more serious than she thought. ’I’m sure of it. That desolate, desperate aura from him just now... it was because of me!’

Looking at Zhou Lian with trepidation, Li Xiu forced a smile. "Bao’er, what is it? Why are you angry?"

"Just tell me what’s wrong. We’ve been husband and wife for two lifetimes. It’s impossible for you to hide things from me, especially if it concerns me. Speak. I’m right here," Zhou Lian said, watching him quietly, her voice calm. ’This man... he always loses his composure when it comes to me!’ She thought carefully. Nothing had happened recently. ’It must be his insecurities acting up again. When he’s with me, this man who is normally so confident and in control is always so flustered. Or rather, so insecure!’