Chapter 66 - Not The Girl For You
April sat on the crisp white sheets of the hospital bed and started out at the skyline of the city from her private room's window. She loved the sky, vast and ever changing in colours. Though it changed one thing was for certain, the sun will rise in the morning and set again at night, giving her the solitary moon to gaze at.
April thought of her new life, what it had cost her, her old one. It cost her her comfort zone and sense of direction. It cost her her relationships and friends, it cost her being liked and understood. But none of that mattered as she knew the people she had met on the other side of her rebirth loved and valued her. She would build a new comfort zone with all the things that made her happy and move forward.
Instead of being understood by others, she would be seen by those she held dear to her. All she had lost was a person that she no longer was.
April smiled and let it all go in one breath, just as she did that the door opened and she quickly turned her head thinking that it was Micheal. To her horror it was James. What was he doing here?
Seeing her smile James heart leapt but it soon spiralled into displeasure as her smile disappeared and all he now saw was indifference. Faking it he beamed at her, "I went to find you at your workplace but you were not there. After a few enquiries, I found out that you were in the hospital. Are you feeling any better? What happened to you?"
April couldn't deal with this idiot right now, "I am fine, just something minor happened. Thank you for your visit but it is inappropriate now please see yourself out." April returned her gaze to the bright and full sun.
James lost it at her words but he had learnt to control his thoughts and movements so he restrained himself for now. Once he had her she wouldn't be so mouthy, "I will go after you agree to a date with me."
April's head snapped around and couldn't hide her smile but it wasn't the smile James had hoped for. Her guard was up and she gave a gentle laugh as she replied, "James, I am not the girl for you, I am not the girl who will break your heart. I will not lead you into blocking my number nor picking up a bottle. I am far more deadly than that. I am the girl that will always believe in you. The girl who will always wish you well and push you towards your dreams. I will give you peace in knowing my intentions and loyalty to you. I will leave you with far more pieces than you started with." James went to hold her hand but she stopped him and continued, "I will sneak up on you years down the line when you have had your fun and crave someone. Someone who believes in you and will only wish you the world. Someone that will leave you in more pieces than you started with. I am not the girl that breaks your heart im the girl you wish had kept together."
"Huh?" James did not understand what she meant, was this a yes?
April gently laughed, of course, a man like James wouldn't deserve her, she knew her worth, "Lucy and you are perfect for each other." She then turned her head indicating for him to leave.
James nodded, "I will visit again maybe today your head is a bit foggy." James then stood and fixed his suit before walking out of her private room and down the hospital corridor. He thought of her words and she was right she could bring so much to his life, she was beautiful and talented and would go far with her career. He needed a strong wife, Lucy and the others would just be for fun.
Back inside the hospital room, April thought of the girl she once was when she was with James and she realised that she never wanted to meet her again, not because she was kind and loving. But because her love enveloped around him like raindrops, even on the days he tried to stay dry. But when she needed the same love herself she found herself in a drought.
Her identity became a Cameleon changing colours to reflect his mood. Blending in just so she could be part of it. She rarely felt good enough, even though she was enough and more. And the minimum is what she learned to beg for. She never wanted to meet that girl again. She could not imagine going back to live another day where she did not strive for the absolute maximum she deserved.
She looked back at the hospital door that James has just walked out of and sighed and I'm her heart she thanked him for not giving her what she deserved, thankful for showing her that she deserved better. She thanked him for letting her realise that she shouldn't settle for the bare minimum. Thanks to him she now knew what she truly deserved.
Click...
April looked up and genuinely smiled, "Grandpa why are you here?" She recognised the impeccably dressed elderly man as the one she had accompanied in the park that day.
"I am glad you remember such an old man like myself." He chuckled before he sat down on the visitor's seat.
"Of course I remember," April replied, her happy mood returning.
"I am here to see you, how are you?" He was here for her today, who would want to be alone in the hospital. He really needed to talk to his grandson.
"I'm fine." It was always her go to response, no one wanted the truth after all.
He sighed, these youngsters never said what they truly felt anymore, "You were shot but you're fine."
"How did you know what happened to me," She asked.
He chuckled, "You are the angel that saved my idiotic grandson."
April froze, the thought of Dean made her head fuzzy and her heart plummeted into chaos, "You are his grandfather?"
Taking in her reaction he couldn't help be aggrieved by his idiotic grandson's actions, "Yes he should be here, but I'm here to keep you company."
April did her best to smile, after everything she knew Dean had left her alone in the hospital. She looked down at the white sheets lost in thought.