Chapter 157 I’ve Always Been Like This

What did she mean she would be fine as long as Jiang Shaokai was there? Did she trust Jiang Shaokai that much?

Su Jianan was completely oblivious to the dark scowl forming on the face of a certain someone.

“Huh? Are you mad?” Su Jianan raised her head and gazed at Lu Boyan with hazy, drunken eyes. “But I didn’t disobey you, did I? I didn’t drink alone. I… I was drinking with a lot of people!”

As she spoke, she spread her arms wide to draw a large circle in the air, as if to convey to Lu Boyan just how many people she had been having drinks with.

Lu Boyan’s scowl had darken to a point where it could no longer get any darker. He picked Su Jianan up in a fireman’s carry, slinging her body over his shoulders and stomped indoors.

“Hey, Lu Boyan!” Su Jianan began to struggle against him, kicking out her legs until her shoes fell to the lawn. “Let go of me!”

Inside the house, Uncle Xu, Aunt Liu, and the entire staff of servants had heard Su Jianan’s voice from afar. They dared not speak a single word when they saw that Su Jianan was carried into the house by Lu Boyan. They had all acted in sync by pretending not to see anything.

Su Jianan understood that it was pointless to ask Uncle Xu and the others for help. With all her might, she pounded Lu Boyan’s back with her fist. “Put me down! Don’t touch me!”

One of her statements had gotten on Lu Boyan’s wick as he suddenly picked up his pace and carried Su Jianan straight into the bedroom. The door slammed shut with a bang. Following that, he tossed Su Jianan onto the bed.

The large, 1.8-meter bed felt soft and comfortable as if it had been put together using a pile of cotton; rather than feeling any pain from the fall, Su Jianan actually felt very comfortable. Plus, with her mind being all fuzzy and hazy, she wanted to just pull the blanket over herself and then go to sleep, which she did.

Lu Boyan yanked the blanket away.

He climbed onto the bed and then planted both hands above Su Jianan’s shoulders. With his body hovering above hers, they were now facing to face, and he was gazing down at her. His eyes were filled to the brim with danger.

The only thing that went through Su Jianan’s mind was how intimate this position was; her shoulders flinched back instinctively. Just then, the end of Lu Boyan’s necktie fell down, tickling her lips.

Somehow, Su Jianan found the courage to smiled at Lu Boyan and then twirled his necktie around her palm. “What are you trying to do, hm?”

With the drunken look on her face and a voice as soft as cotton, she looked just like a lazy kitten.

Lu Boyan lowered his body and brought his face closer to hers. Each breath he released was filled with danger as it caressed her cheeks. “If I’m not allowed to touch you, then tell me, who else has your permission to touch you, hm?”

She was speechless. “Err, don’t tell me it’s that statement that had ticked him off?” She thought.

When Lu Boyan saw that Su Jianan was deep in thought, as if she was considering the idea, he bit down viciously on her lip. “Don’t tell me Jiang Shaokai can touch you?” He growled.

“Why can’t he touch me?” Su Jianan asked without even thinking.

“She thinks that Jiang Shaokai is allowed to touch her?!”

Lu Boyan’s eyes clouded over instantly, just like the unpredictable sky during June: dark, heavy clouds and raging thunderstorms.

Meanwhile, Su Jianan still had a clueless and innocent look as she lay underneath him. Her small hands remained tangled in his necktie as if in a silent invitation.

Lu Boyan was practically driven by animal instinct when he cradled her cheeks with both palms and then kissed her.

Hurried and desperate, yet without lacking in warmth, he sucked and tasted every inch of her goodness.

The subliminal part of Su Jianan’s brain kicked into gear as she moved to struggle against him. But when she summoned enough strength to her hands to push him away, she could not bring herself to follow through. In the end, her hands ended up gripping Lu Boyan’s shirt.

It might have been some alcohol-induced delusion, but she felt as though the familiar Lu Boyan was back again. Her Lu Boyan, not the cold, and aloof Lu Boyan.

Lu Boyan was thrown off guard the moment he felt Su Jianan reciprocating his kisses.

She was probably doing that under the influence of alcohol, but him? What about him? What excuse did he have?

He had already decided to let everything go back to the way it used to be, which meant letting her go. And yet what was he doing now?

Lu Boyan suddenly released Su Jianan and pushed her hands away from his shirt. Su Jianan stared up at him in confusion as Lu Boyan climbed off the bed with an icy expression.

It was as if this man was completely different from the one who had been kissing her passionately just now.

All of a sudden, Su Jianan felt a surge of coldness in her heart. “Lu Boyan, why have you become like this?”

“I’ve always been like this.”

After throwing out those cold words, Lu Boyan turned around and left Su Jianan’s room.

After a long time, Su Jianan finally recovered. She yelled in the direction of the door, “You’re lying, you bastard!”

He had not always been like this. When she was in danger, Lu Boyan came for her just in time. When she was in pain, he brought her to see a doctor. When she complained about him not keeping his promise, he brought her to Happy World.

Lu Boyan was not some emotionless sociopath. Why was he claiming that he had always been this way?

Before Su Jianan could even delve deeper into them, the haziness of her mind drowned out her thoughts. She clung to the blanket and fell asleep.

Little did she know that Lu Boyan had been standing outside her door the whole time.

She said that he was lying.

She was right. He had been lying to her ever since she was a kid.

Lu Boyan stood at the corridor for an unknown period before he turned around and opened the door of Su Jianan’s bedroom. He peered inside and saw that she had indeed fallen asleep. The covers were thrown over her body haphazardly. A few strands of hair stuck to her cheek.

He entered the room and adjusted the covers for her. Then he pushed her hair aside. After that, he stood beside her bed and just watched her sleep.

After a while, a frown formed on Su Jianan’s sleeping face. “Lu Boyan, you bastard…” She mumbled.

So she hated him even when she was asleep, huh?

Lu Boyan sat on the edge of the bed, running his fingertips over the planes of her cheeks.

“Jianan, I’m sorry,” he thought.

He stood up immediately and left the room without looking back.

Something else in life awaited him: a tough, all-out war. He did not have much time left to stay by her side.

…

The following day.

Su Jianan woke up to a heavy sensation in her head; it was as if her head weighed several tons. She had experienced this sensation before, so she knew what must have caused it: alcohol.

But that time, she had woken up in Lu Boyan’s arms. This time… the only thing on this huge bed was emptiness.

She recalled the events from the previous night: Lu Boyan’s kiss after they got to her room, and after that, his sudden change of behavior from warmth to coldness. Was it just a dream, or did it happen?

She parted the beige curtains of her bedroom. Bright sunlight pierced in, bringing a considerable amount of alertness back into her mind. She noted the time and realized that it was no longer early. She did not have much time left to wallow in her thoughts. She slipped into the bathroom to wash up.

When she got downstairs, Lu Boyan was already seated in the dining hall. The Chinese style breakfast served before him was still steaming. He sat there, flipping through the business section of the newspaper.

Su Jianan headed over and took a seat at the table. She noticed a bowl of white congee already there for her. In the past, whenever Lu Boyan had had too much to drink during a work function, she would always ask the kitchen to prepare a bowl of this congee for him the next day.

She tested out the congee’s temperature, which was just right. “Thank you,” she told Lu Boyan.

“The person you should be thanking is Uncle Xu,” he said, flipping the newspapers expressionlessly. “He was the one who asked the kitchen to prepare the congee.”

“Oh, so it isn’t him,” she thought. Su Jianan masked the disappointment in her heart with an “oh”. Then she said, “Last night, I—”

“Must be fun, sharing drinks with a bunch of people,” Lu Boyan said, cutting her off. “You must be very happy now, aren’t you?” Lu Boyan set down the newspaper. His cold gaze was now focused on her. “Have you forgotten who you are?”

Su Jianan was not a weakling. “I merely had a bit more to drink. I didn’t do anything that will bring you embarrassment,” she said, defending herself reasonably.

“You better not have done anything shameful.” Lu Boyan slammed the newspaper onto the desk. He took two sips of congee and then frowned as he set down his spoon. He stood up to leave.

“Hold it right there!” Su Jianan stood up and walked over. When she was standing in front of him, she said, “Lu Boyan, who are you so mad at? Why are you acting so strangely?”

Lu Boyan stared at Su Jianan deeply. He smirked. “Jianan, haven’t I been acting like this from the start?”

He turned around and left Su Jianan there in a stupor. She felt as if someone had poured a bucket of ice water on her.

She had stubbornly assumed that there was an underlying reason behind Lu Boyan’s strange behavior. How could she forget the fact this was exactly how Lu Boyan had acted from the beginning: cold, aloof, and seeing her only as a nominal wife.

Perhaps he was tired, tired of playing the lovey-dovey married couple with her. That must be why he was reverting everything to the way it was in the beginning.

A sudden wave of sadness hit Su Jianan. It was like someone was squeezing her heart, and there was a feeling of intense heaviness pressing down upon it. Her hand went to her chest, trying desperately to find where the wound was, where it hurt the most. She found none; there was no wound. Just like that, every fiber of her being was seized by that strange bitterness and sadness.

She pounded her chest again and again. All she wanted was to find a place where nobody could see her and then cry her heart out.

In the end, she grabbed her keys, dashed out the villa, and drove to the police office.

She had to work. Work would be able to calm her down. She could not afford to fall apart, nor could she allow Lu Boyan to see just how heartbroken she was.

Having been utterly humiliated, she did not want to lose the final shred of her dignity to him.

Today’s work did not go smoothly at all; she had been careless, forgetting things here and there. She had always been flawless in her work, never making any mistakes at all. Today, however, it was like she was cramming all the tiny mistakes she would be making in her entire life into the span of a single day.

Not even Captain Yan could bear the sight of her any longer. “Jianan,” he said, “why don’t you take the rest of the day off?”

Su Jianan snapped out of her daze and shook her head. “No need, Captain Yan. I’m sorry. I won’t let personal matters interfere with my work from now on.”

She took a deep breath and poured everything into her work. Although her mind would still wander off from time to time, she no longer made any silly mistakes.

Near the end of her shift, Captain Yan called everyone for an emergency meeting.

“There’s been a homicide in a small town in City Z. The local and town police aren’t able to crack it. Our superiors had assigned us to the case. Chief Tang had decided to let me lead the task force. Now I need a medical examiner to join the task force. Jianan, Shaokai, both of you decide between yourselves who will go.”

“I’ll go,” Su Jianan said without hesitation. “Captain Yan, I’ll go with you guys.”

Jiang Shaokai gave Su Jianan’s arm a few tugs. “What do you think you’re doing? Do you think this is some kind party you can gate-crash? Didn’t you hear what Captain Yan just said? The place is a small town. The conditions and facilities there are probably so primitive that even air-conditioners are considered luxuries. Do you think you can handle it? No. I don’t think so. I’ll go!”

Captain Yan nodded his agreement. “Also, Jianan, the emotional state you’re in right now…”

“My emotions are fine,” Su Jianan pledged, crossing her heart. “I know psychology, so I know how to adjust my own emotions. Also, I can handle it regardless of the town’s conditions.”

Jiang Shaokai released a hiss and suddenly pressed a hand over Su Jianan’s mouth. “Captain Yan,” he said, “when are we set to leave?”

“Tomorrow morning,” said Captain Yan.

Jiang Shaokai gave him an “OK” gesture. “I’ll hash things out with Jianan and give you an answer tonight. Is that alright?”

“No problem.”

Jiang Shaokai nodded. Then he dragged Su Jianan back into their office and shut the door. “You’re sulking!” He yelled.

Su Jianan lowered her head. “Just let me go, okay? I don’t want to see Lu Boyan these days.”

“What you need to do right now is to calm yourself down,” Jiang Shaokai said, putting a hand on Su Jianan’s shoulder. “Listen to me and don’t do anything rash right now. Go home and think things through calmly. Maybe there’s some misunderstanding between you and Lu Boyan. If you go and leave things unresolved like this, the misunderstanding between you two will just become worse. Just call me tonight, okay?”

For a moment, Su Jianan was quiet, pressing her lips together as she chewed over his words. She nodded in the end. “Okay.”

Jiang Shaokai heaved a sigh, “Good girl.”

At that moment, neither of them could guess what Su Jianan was about to see when she got home.