Chapter 147 Understanding Came Too Little, Too Late

Luo Xiaoxi had been staring off into space throughout her entire workout session.

She had followed her personal trainer’s instructions to a tee and had made every effort to perform all her workouts in perfect form. However, her face was completely devoid of any expression throughout the entire session.

The private trainer sighed and then told herself that she still preferred the old Luo Xiaoxi: the one who poured everything into each training session but did so with a highly expressive face; the cheeky one who would slack off occassionally or do something deliberately just to annoy and tease her.

The workout session lasted for two hours. Next up would be her training course, most of which involved teaching new models on ways to dispel performance anxiety, how to deal with questions from the press, et cetera. Luo Xiaoxi’s mind did not register a single word by the lecturer, though. Even after the lecturer had wrapped up the lecture, Luo Xiaoxi remained in her seat, staring lifelessly on the surface of her desk.

Some time later, Candy walked up to her, “Xiaoxi, it’s time for lunch.”

Luo Xiaoxi stared at Candy blankly. “Oh,” she said. Then, like a robot, Luo Xiaoxi stood up and followed Candy to the cafeteria.

Training was a physically taxing affair, which was why Luo Xiaoxi was usually excited during lunch time. Today, however, not even the aroma of roast chicken breasts or the sight of fruit salad and yogurt could bring the life back into her. She just sat there, indifferent to everything. Her huge and beautiful eyes were void; she had no presence at all, as if someone could stare straight through her when they look at her.

“Xiaoxi, starving yourself won’t do, you know.” Candy shoved a fork into Luo Xiaoxi’s hand, “Your health is the most important thing.”

That comment broke Luo Xiaoxi’s trance.

“Yeah, she’s right. My health is the most important thing. I need to take care of myself. I’ve made a promise to Su Yicheng,” Luo Xiaoxi thought.

She ate one mouthful, and then another…

One after the other, Luo Xiaoxi gobbled up the food on her plate. She finished the food, even if everything tasted about as bland as candle wax. She had to eat. She had to take good care of herself.

“Do you want to go home, or do you want to stay at the company?” Candy asked Luo Xiaoxi when the training course for the afternoon had ended.

Luo Xiaoxi glanced at the westbound sun, “I want to go home.”

She had no idea what she would do after she got home. All she wanted was to shut herself away and be alone. She want to be by herself.

“Okay, then.” Candy sent Luo Xiaoxi downstairs. After that, she sent Shen Yuechuan a text.

Lu Boyan had to do overtime today. Su Jianan, on the other hand, had gotten off work early. Before, she would have gone straight to Lu Boyan’s company to look for him. But now, she wanted to see Luo Xiaoxi.

Su Jianan wanted to be there for Luo Xiaoxi during the time she needed her the most.

Su Jianan had found out from Shen Yuechuan that Luo Xiaoxi had already gone back to her apartment, so she gave Uncle Qian the address of Luo Xiaoxi’s apartment.

Both Su Jian and Luo Xiaoxi owned the keys to each others’ apartments, so when she got upstairs, she entered the apartment without ringing the doorbell. She was hit by the reek of alcohol the moment she entered.

“Xiaoxi!”

Su Jianan dashed into the living room and saw Luo Xiaoxi sitting on the carpet in front of the couch. Contrary to Su Jianan’s expectations, Luo Xiaoxi was not drinking herself into oblivion. Instead, she was toying with the two bottles of alcohol in her hands.

Su Jianan’s pounding heart slowed down in relief; a drunken Luo Xiaoxi was the thing that Su Jianan feared the most.

Su Jianan walked over and relieved Luo Xiaoxi of the bottle and glass, “Have you eaten yet? I’m going to make something for you, okay?”

“Don’t worry,” Luo Xiaoxi said. Her voice sounded scratchy still. “I won’t drink. Jianan, I won’t ever touch alcohol again.”

Back then whenever Su Yicheng rejected her, Luo Xiaoxi would always numb herself with alcohol. She had even thought of it as a cool thing to do. Her father had always nagged her to never touch alcohol, saying that alcohol would lead her into trouble one day.

Well, now she knew: her father had not been lying. In fact, she was now paying the price for not taking her father’s advice.

“Xiaoxi,” Su Jianan said, sitting down beside Luo Xiaoxi. “There’s still a chance, you know. You have to snap out of it, and return to your usual self. This thing will pass, and when it does, my brother will come to you.”

“I don’t even have the right to show my face at Cheng An Group anymore,” Luo Xiaoxi said. Then she let out a self-mocking laugh, “My dad had warned me about this ages ago. He said that with my personality, I’d definitely cause trouble if I drink. Well, I guess reality has shown that my father was right.”

A drop of tear spilled from the corner of Luo Xiaoxi’s eyes. She wiped it off stubbornly. Then, she stood up and began rummaging through the apartment for all the alcohol she kept. After that, she poured every single drop of them into the sink.

True understanding as well as the ability to tell right from wrong would come only after something had been experienced directly, and that applied to all human beings.

Su Jianan opened Luo Xiaoxi’s fridge and peered inside. Other than yogurt and some milk, the only other food there were several packs of frozen food. There was also a bunch of lettuce which looked nearly dehydrated.

Su Jianan turned on the stove and boiled a bowl of wonton, which she seasoned with stock. Then she added the lettuce into a bowl after washing them. After that, she poured the stock-flavored wonton soup into the bowl. The lettuce regained its greenish appearance as it boiled in the hot soup, which was now releasing a pleasant aroma into the air. Finally, she sliced up a leftover cucumber and placed the slices into a small bowl before serving them up to Luo Xiaoxi.

Luo Xiaoxi felt a heaviness in her chest, right where her heart was; her heart felt so heavy that it almost felt as if it could sink into her stomach. She honestly did not have much of an appetite, but she still forced herself to sit up and eat.

Don’t do anything stupid. Look after myself. That was what she had promised Su Yicheng.

Su Jianan squeezed two glasses of fresh fruit juice after Luo Xiaoxi was done eating. She sat with Luo Xiaoxi at the balcony to chat.

Ever since Su Jianan got married, they had very little chance to sit down like this and just chat, especially after Luo Xiaoxi single-minded decision to become a model.

“Xiaoxi, I don’t want you to keep going like this,” Su Jianan said frankly.

“I won’t. I just need a few days to accept the reality of everything,” Luo Xiaoxi said, taking a sip of fruit juice. “I know I can’t go on like this too. My career has only just begun. I must pull myself together no matter what. But Jianan, please, can you guys give me a few days to just work through everything?”

“Alright,” Su Jianan said, covering her hand. “Xiaoxi, I’m waiting for a better version of Luo Xiaoxi to come out from all this.”

Luo Xiaoxi smiled. Then, as if using the fruit juice as a substitute for alcohol, she clinked her glass to Su Jianan’s before taking a few more sips, “Isn’t it time for you to go home?”

“I want to stay here to keep you company,” Su Jianan said.

“Thank you, Jianan.” Luo Xiaoxi wrapped Su Jianan in a hug. “But really, I’m fine. I won’t go nuts like I did last night. You should go home and keep Lu Boyan company.”

Just then, Su Jianan received Lu Boyan’s call. On the phone, he asked her if she was planning to come home tonight.

Su Jianan glanced at Luo Xiaoxi hesitatingly. Luo Xiaoxi snatched the phone from Su Jianan’s hand, “You should come and pick up Jianan. I’m fine on my own.”

Luo Xiaoxi hung up and then smiled at Su Jianan, “Hey, it’s not like you can keep me company everyday starting from today, right? Lu Boyan would hate me to death if you do that. Look, I have to get used to this eventually. I’ll get better.”

the latter half of Luo Xiaoxi’s statement was likely meant for her own ears.

Su Jianan scrutinized Luo Xiaoxi. She had an inkling that something inside Luo Xiaoxi had changed, and yet she could not tell what it was. But at the same time, it also seemed like Luo Xiaoxi had not changed at all.

Su Jianan’s phone rang again shortly; Lu Boyan was downstairs.

“Alright. You should go,” Luo Xiaoxi said, pushing Su Jianan out the door. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll call you if there’s anything.”

Su Jianan gave Luo Xiaoxi a quick hug before turning around to walk down the stairs. She saw Lu Boyan’s car parked in front of the gate the moment she walked through the gate. Uncle Qian got out from the driver’s side to open the door for her. She got into the car and sat down beside Lu Boyan.

“How’s Luo Xiaoxi?” Lu Boyan asked.

“Seems okay. She isn’t as emotional as yesterday,” Su Jianan said. “She’ll probably be fine after two days.”

“You don’t have to worry. I’ve already asked her manager to push back everything in her schedule,” Lu Boyan said.

“She… What kind of work does she have?” Su Jianan asked curiously. Xiaoxi had only made her debut recently, so she was not that popular yet. And yet she already had jobs?

“The photos she did for Vogue was well-received,” Lu Boyan said blandly. “Two magazines are now looking to have her do their cover photos. Also, Candy was in the middle of securing a deal with a Top Model contest organized by a TV station. The sooner she can pull herself together, the sooner she’ll become a big hit.”

Su Jianan thought about what she had just been told. Then, she typed everything up in the form of a text and sent it to Luo Xiaoxi through WeChat.

Su Jianan knew Luo Xiaoxi’s personality well; her ability to bounce back would be kicked into full force once it was given a bit of stimulation.

For a while, Lu Boyan just stared at Su Jianan’s phone. Then, all of a sudden, he handed his phone to her.

Su Jianan stared at him in puzzlement, “What?”

Lu Boyan pointed at WeChat’s icon on her home-screen. “Help me install this,” he said.

“You want to… install WeChat?” Su Jianan felt as if she was choking. “Lu Boyan, is this a joke?” She had thought that Lu Boyan would never touch a messaging app.

Lu Boyan arched his brows, “What, you can use it and I can’t?”

Su Jianan nodded with zest, “You can. Of course you can…”

What she was curious about was why Lu Boyan would suddenly want to install it now after years of never using it.

Regardless, Su Jianan had installed the app for Lu Boyan and then registered an ID for him. When she passed the phone back to Lu Boyan, he took her phone as well; he scanned the QR code, and they mysteriously became friends on WeChat.

Even more mysterious was the fact that after Lu Boyan added her as friend, his face was that of… satisfaction?

Lu Boyan looked at his one and only WeChat friend with interest, which of course, led to him clicking into Su Jianan’s WeChat moments.

“Hey, don’t look!” Su Jianan had taken great care to avoid adding friends frivolously; all her contacts consisted of close acquaintances and friends only. That was why all the WeChat moments she had shared with her friends were rather, well, immodest. Although she had been posting only one WeChat moment per month, each of them was quite… lengthy.

Lu Boyan scrolled through her moments, and it did not take him long to see the moments she had posted during her time as a student in the United States. His brows raised at what he saw. “You gambled at Las Vegas before? Huh. And you even won a few pots.”

“I went there with Xiaoxi.” Su Jianan recalled those days back in the United States. Young and fearless back then, they had brought along a few hundred US dollars to Las Vegas. They played a few rounds and ended up winning enough money to treat themselves to a big meal.

That was the first time she had earned money with so much ease. In her excitement, she had shared it on WeChat. Neither she nor Luo Xiaoxi had tried gambling again after that.

It could be due to sheer luck that they won the first time. Something like this would not happen a second time, that much they knew.

“I’ll bring you there next time,” Lu Boyan said. “It’s on me if you lose.”

“Actually, my poker skills aren’t too bad,” Su Jianan said, angling her head to look at Lu Boyan. “There’s a chance I might win.”

Lu Boyan smiled, “You can take it all if you win.”

Su Jianan was hit by a sudden realization. Lu Boyan had promised to take her a quite a number of places already: the winery in France, Las Vegas… Although neither of them had mentioned anything about the divorce for the past few months, the fact that their marriage would only last for two years was still on her mind.

Lu Boyan was such a busy man, and two years was such a short amount of time. Could he actually fulfill his promises?

Perhaps the impermanence of their marriage had slipped his mind when he made those promises?

Also surprised and confused by Lu Boyan’s sudden appearance on WeChat were the group of people who had access to Lu Boyan’s private number, such as Shen Yuechuan, for instance.

Shen Yuechuan was at a bar, drinking with a bunch of his buddies. When he launched his WeChat app, he immediately received a notification telling him to add the WeChat ID of one of his phone contacts. When he saw that it was Lu Boyan, however, he was so startled that he nearly dropped his phone; he immediately suspected that something had gone wrong.

So he asked his buddies to check their phones too. They ended up nearly dropping their phones too.

In the past, they had never been able to convince Lu Boyan to take an interest in this app no matter what they said. And yet now… he had installed it.

To test things out a little, Shen Yuechuan added Lu Boyan as his WeChat friend. Surprisingly, the friend request was accepted quickly, which made him even more suspicious. Then Shen Yuechuan sent over a text, “Did you lose your phone?”

The reply came in the form of a voice message. In fact, it was Su Jianan’s voice, “He didn’t lose his phone. I installed it for him.”

“Aha, now it all makes sense,” Shen Yuechuan thought, nodding.

His drinking buddies nodded as well. It made sense to them too.