Chapter 135 I Don’t Need Your Pity

Luo Xiaoxi was wondering the same thing.

“Things between us aren’t impossible. What does that even mean?” She thought.

Actually, if she read between the lines, it was very obvious what Su Yicheng was trying to say.

Just that Luo Xiaoxi did not have the courage to believe it.

She had known Su Yicheng since she was a teenager and had pursued him until she was in her twenties. Heck, she was pretty sure that even the entire city knew about their little drama at this point; some random stranger on the streets probably knew about how Su Yicheng had completely disregarded her relentless and shameless pursuits.

Occasionally, she would hear about the criticisms that had been made behind her back; apparently, she was a shameless woman who would follow Su Yicheng’s around for the rest of her life just to pester him.

Still, not a single fiber of her being was willing to give up. Instead, she proclaimed that one day Su Yicheng would become hers.

Now, Su Yicheng was finally telling her that things were possible between them, that it was now a possibility for her to claim him as hers.

On the surface, she was all smiles and laughter back then. But the truth was that she had been tirelessly pursuing Su Yicheng for over a decade. She was like a lost ship back then, drifting through the water in complete darkness; she could see no hope. But now, the clouds had suddenly parted. Streams of moonlight burst through the gaps and cascaded down the sky. She was able to see the first ray of sunshine, and her world was once again filled with brightness.

She stared at Su Yicheng relentlessly, as if trying to ascertain the veracity of what she was seeing. “Su Yicheng, what’s the meaning of this? Aren’t you with Zhang Mei? You know, if this is one of your two-timing games, then I’m not interested.”

Su Yicheng lost his patience. “Who told you that I’m with Zhang Mei?” He snapped.

“I saw it with my own eyes!” Luo Xiaoxi fired back angrily. “That night during the anniversary celebration, you suddenly vanished. When Jianan called you, Zhang Mei was the one who picked up the phone. When I went to the hotel, Zhang Mei was the one who answered the door. And guess what I also saw? The kiss marks on Zhang Mei’s neck.”

Actually, she had already berated Su Yicheng for his animalistic tendencies about two months ago. Right now, she brought it up again for only one reason: she was still pissed off!

Su Yicheng frowned, “It’s true that I brought her to the hotel. But we never went all the way. By the time you got there, I had already left. I didn’t even know you went to the hotel.”

Luo Xiaoxi pondered his words carefully. Well, it was true that she never saw Su Yicheng at the hotel that day. Then she thought about Zhang Mei’s behavior, which she now knew was meant to give her the wrong idea. Su Yicheng was not even in the room, yet Zhang Mei had the nerve to go so far with her pretense?

“Man… If this is a war of schemes, then that woman is like a goddamn fighter jet,” she thought.

“You haven’t answered my first question. What’s the meaning of all this?” Luo Xiaoxi stared at Su Yicheng unyieldingly. She really hated it the most when she could not wrap her head around things.

“It means that… it means that we can try to be together,” Su Yicheng said, and then he faltered. Half a second later, he picked up where he left off. “Xiaoxi, maybe we can…” get married; that was what he had wanted to say. Still, he could not bring himself to utter those two words in the end.

Luo Xiaoxi, on the other hand, had construed his words as: maybe we can be together.

“You still don’t love me.” Luo Xiaoxi laughed, and for the first time, her laughter sounded entirely self-depreciating. “Su Yicheng, if you have feelings for me, then you would’ve done the same thing you did with all your ex-girlfriends. You would’ve been adamant on wanting me to be with you instead of saying vague things like ‘things between us are possible’, or, ‘maybe we can try’.”

No. That was not the case at all. But Su Yicheng knew that he would not be able to give a clear explanation no matter what he said. At the same time, it escaped him how Luo Xiaoxi could spout all this nonsense while keeping a straight face. He frowned. “Xiaoxi.”

“Since you’re not in love with me, then why are you telling me things like that?” The look on Luo Xiaoxi’s face changed into that of puzzlement. “Su Yicheng, I don’t think you’re the type of guy who would abuse yourself by settling for lesser things.”

“Xiaoxi, you’re different from them.”

Finally, Su Yicheng said it.

From the moment he had told Luo Xiaoxi that a relationship between them was possible, he already knew that to him, Luo Xiaoxi was different from all his past girlfriends.

As for how and why she was different? Well, Su Yicheng did not have the answers to that at the moment.

“Of course I’m different,” Luo Xiaoxi said, her face twisting into a stiff and polite smile. “I was one who pursued you, wasn’t I. How can I be the same as them?”

Su Yicheng could no longer tolerate her self-abasement. He was just about to say something else when her smile suddenly turned into a wide grin. “Then again, I suppose I’m the only one with the guts to pursue you,” she said. “If it were them, they could spend the rest of their lives trying and still fail to build enough courage to pursue you!”

Su Yicheng, “…”

Just then, a delivery truck stopped in front of the apartment building. The sharp-eyed Luo Xiaoxi instantly recognized the truck and knew that her treadmill had arrived. She ran out and saw the store owner and the truck driver unloading the package off the truck.

“So you were serious about personally coming to make the delivery,” she said, smiling. “I’ll open the door. You guys follow me.”

The store owner had come to find out whether Su Yicheng was really Luo Xiaoxi’s boyfriend. Naturally, he was overjoyed when he saw that Luo Xiaoxi was alone. After a while, he caught a glimpse of Su Yicheng’s faint profile. The way Su Yicheng was staring at him sent chills down his spine.

Luo Xiaoxi noticed Su Yicheng following them. “You’re coming up as well?” She asked curiously.

“Why, would you rather have that treadmill vendor follow you up instead?”

“What the hell? The guy sells more than just treadmills, okay?” Luo Xiaoxi said emphatically. “Fine. You might as well come up. We’re not done with our conversation anyway.”

When she saw the driver and the store owner carrying the treadmill towards them, Luo Xiaoxi clamped up instantly and went to press the elevator call button.

The four of them squeezed into the meagre-spaced elevator. With the addition of the treadmill, it was safe to say that the elevator was a little cramped. Su Yicheng kept Luo Xiaoxi by his side and had deliberately used the treadmill to put some distance between her and the treadmill vendor.

Luo Xiaoxi felt strangely annoyed, yet at the same time, she also felt a surge of uncontainable happiness.

If a man is possessive of you, it could only mean that you hold a place in his heart.

The elevator arrived at the 16th floor, and Su Yicheng dragged Luo Xiaoxi out of the elevator to open the door of her apartment. The moment the treadmill was carried into the apartment, Su Yicheng said, “Thank you. We’ll take care of the rest.”

The store owner was stunned. Now that he noticed Su Yicheng’s familiarity with the apartment, he was convinced that the two of them were a couple. Sighing inwardly, he handed the delivery receipt to Su Yicheng. “Please sign here.”

Su Yicheng scribbled his signature, “Goodbye, and take care.”

The owner nodded. “Please come—”

Su Yicheng had already closed the door, firmly locking the “again” outside the apartment.

Luo Xiaoxi was rendered speechless by Su Yicheng’s behavior. Whoever said that Su Yicheng was a gentleman; he was a total barbarian, okay?

Still, why did she find this version of Su Yicheng so much hotter?

She stared at him with faux nonchalance. “You told them we’d set it up on our own. But I’ve got no idea how to work this stuff. Do you?”

Su Yicheng rolled up his sleeves. “Where do you want it?”

Luo Xiaoxi’s eyes swept across the expanse of her living room. After a while, she pointed at a corner where the French windows were. “Put it there.”

With ease, Su Yicheng pushed the box towards the specified corner. He tore open the packaging and got to work.

The truth was that he had zero experience in this kind of thing. But once he read the instructions, he was able to set everything up in an organized and precise manner, all the while giving the impression that he had been doing it for years. Watching him work, Luo Xiaoxi could not help but feel a swell of admiration in her heart.

Indeed, this was the man she had been in love with for over ten years.

It did not take long for the treadmill to be up and running. Su Yicheng got on the machine to try it out. Satisfied that it was fully functional, Su Yicheng patted the machine and said, “All done.” When he turned around, he noticed Luo Xiaoxi back staring at him with unbidden fascination in her eyes while cradling her cheeks with both palms.

In the past, some of his ex-girlfriends had outwardly expressed their admiration for him too. The way they did it usually involved a deliberate and highly-affected grin. They would follow that up by giving him an intimate hug from behind and then giving him a kiss.

On the surface, he was all smiles, but deep down, their gesture did not cause his heart to flutter. He did not feel a surge or tidal wave of emotions.

Only Luo Xiaoxi would stare straight at him like that without any pretense whatsoever. It was like she was trying to convey her admiration through her eyes alone.

It was then that Su Yicheng came upon a sudden realization: Luo Xiaoxi was real. There was no pretense in her behavior at all, which allowed him to truly experience the pleasure of being the center of someone’s admiration.

In the past, he always went for women with good taste and propriety, women who were experienced in dating. He thought that dating women like that would give him ample breathing room and would allow him to date without feeling any burden or pressure.

All those women knew everything about the things he that liked. That was precisely why they had always appeared flawless before him. Those women led balanced and stable lives; they were immaculate and incapable of any faults, like some kind of flawlessly programmed humanoid.

Right now, all he wanted was to feel Luo Xiaoxi’s realness in the most vivid way possible.

The corners of Su Yicheng’s lips rose. “I did you a huge favor. How are you going to repay me?”

“What, do you think I’m an idiot? This isn’t you doing me a favor at all,” Luo Xiaoxi said, making a show of contempt. “This is just you troubling yourself unnecessarily. Those guys could’ve set it all up for me.”

What an obtuse woman!

Su Yicheng tossed the adhesive tapes and various packaging paraphernalia back into the box. “Luo Xiaoxi, I don’t think it will be too far from the truth if I call you an idiot right now,” he said. “I’m trying to give you a chance.”

True to his words, Luo Xiaoxi compounded her own idiocy even further. “I don’t need you to give me any chances! Now get over here. Let’s finish our discussion.”

“What else is there to talk about? Haven’t I made myself clear enough?”

“Well, I’m still not clear,” Luo Xiaoxi said, gazing earnestly at him. “Just now you said, and I quote, ‘things between us aren’t impossible’. Am I right to assume that you suddenly don’t hate me anymore, and are now willing to try having a relationship with me?”

“That’s correct,” Su Yicheng said. “I won’t be seeing anyone else starting from now, and you better stop hanging around those dodgy douchebags. And yes, let’s have a go at a relationship.”

Luo Xiaoxi wanted to agree right away, but why did it feel so different from her fantasies?

In her fantasies, the beginning of a relationship between her and Su Yicheng would involve roses and heartfelt love confessions. In this fictitious love confession, Su Yicheng would tell her how sorry he was for putting her through all these years of suffering. He would also tell her that he would cherish her from now on, and that he would love only her for the rest of his life.

Instead, what she got from him was a “I won’t be seeing anyone else”, a “you better stop hanging around other men” and finally, a “yes, let’s have a go at a relationship”. Ugh, so unromantic!

“Su Yicheng, you know there’s actually nothing going on between me and those ‘dodgy douchebags’ that you had referred to. Sure, they might have a little crush on me, but they know that you’re the one I like, so they won’t make any moves on me.” Luo Xiaoxi suddenly stopped speaking and lowered her head. After a long moment of silent contemplation, she shook her head. “No. I don’t want to begin a relationship with you like this.”

Su Yicheng’s gaze instantly turned stormy. “Why?” He had never expected Luo Xiaoxi to turn him down.

“No woman would want to start a relationship with a man like this,” Luo Xiaoxi said as she cast a doubtful look towards Su Yicheng. “What, is having sex all you ever did with your ex-girlfriends? How can you be so clueless when it comes to women?”

Luo Xiaoxi was never one to mince her words with him whenever she talked about such things; she always spoke her mind and had no regard whatsoever for taboos. Still, Su Yicheng realized that this was the first time in which listening to her felt so unbearable.

“I told you ages ago that I’ll only pursue you, not force you,” Luo Xiaoxi went on. “I want you to like me from the bottom of your heart, fall in love with me and then be together with me. That’s the only way we can build a lasting relationship between us. Just ask yourself this. Are you in love with me right now?”

“…” A small crease formed between Su Yicheng’s brows. He could not come up with any response.

“See? You don’t love me. What’s the point of being with me, then? All that does is giving me the idea that you’re only with me out of pity. It’ll only make me feel insecure, which will then lead to me tracking your phone calls and stuff. I’ll probably end up asking you every day about the women you talk to or meet. I’ll even have nightmares about you leaving me after which I wake up screaming.” Luo Xiaoxi’s face palmed. “How sad if things turn out that way? I don’t want to be in this type of relationship at all.”

“So?” Su Yicheng asked.

“So I’ll wait until the day you fall in love with me. Then we’ll start a relationship.” Luo Xiaoxi smiled. “You really don’t have to feel sorry for me, you know. Right now, I have a job and a career. My life will be pretty hectic for quite a while, so I don’t think I’ll have a lot of time to think about you anyway. Look, just go, okay?”

For a long while, Su Yicheng just sat there without moving a single inch, staring at Luo Xiaoxi.

He did have something to say, but whatever words that he had come up with seemed so weak and insignificant compared to what she had just told him.

Luo Xiaoxi liked him. She really liked him. But she would not accept it if he pursued her just for the sake of putting up with her.

What she wanted was for him to whole-heartedly feel the desire to be with her. Right now, he was not even sure if he was capable of falling in love with her.

“I’ll be in touch with you again,” he said, standing up.

“Mm,” Luo Xiaoxi said, smiling. “Shall I call a cab for you?”

“It’s okay. My driver will pick me up.”

Luo Xiaoxi sent Su Yicheng to the door. “Have a safe trip home, then.”