Chapter 183 - A Bit Of Comedic Talk With Golden Ape
"What is going on in the world?" Mike stood in the center of the desolate landscape and yelled at the sky. He couldn't see anything out of the ordinary around him. But something tells him that this is a really special spot.
A group of elephants won't just go jogging in the middle of the hot day.
"What is going on in the world?" Mike stood in the center of the desolate landscape and yelled at the sky. He couldn't see anything out of the ordinary around him. But something tells him that this is a really special spot.
'Could it be that the elephants were running a marathon? However, they were definitely terrified of something. Perhaps they were afraid of losing the marathon. I mean, if there was a punishment like riding a horse with one leg if you lost.'
'But wait, is there a horse that can carry an elephant? Maybe losing elephants should let winners fuck them in front of their wives/husbands? But, I don't believe elephants are so intelligent.'
'Then what in the world frightened them?' Mike sat down on the ground, folding his hands and thinking hard. He peered around but saw nothing. Nothing! There wasn't even a single scrap of grass.
'Perhaps they fled because this location is desolate. However, there is no reason to sprint in that manner. Maybe they'd been starving for a long time. But why didn't they eat the grass while we were in the forest? And that area was thought to be home to the Fire Breathing Elephant.'
'Why would they travel this far? Maybe they were strolling about here when someone took their genitals, forcing them to flee. That could be why the elephant became so enraged when I jammed the spear down his butthole.'
'Gosh! What in the world am I thinking? I need to discover out why the elephants fled.'
The environment altered just as he thought of that. He could feel a chill in the air around him.
'Wait a minute, what happened? Why am I getting frightened?'
Kwaaa!
Suddenly, a man appeared from the earth. He was an elderly man with bandages wrapped over his torso. When Mike noticed this, he approached the old man and shoved him beneath the dirt. He said as he pressed the old man's head.
"! God bless Buddha! Buddha Bless God! Take my pure soul, King of Death, Ruler of Hell, as a medium to bring this old man's soul with many wounds into reincarnation!"
"Wait a minute, Brat! I'm a zombie. Don't you see?"
As he shoved Mike's hand and came out, the elderly man's bandages twitched.
"Kroarr!"
Bang!
"Just pretend you're an old man with numerous wounds!" Mike smacked his head with his hand and yelled.
"I...'ammm a zombie....." The zombie old guy collapsed after seeing several stars on his head.
'Shit! This is a zombie headquarters. Wait a second! Is there even a headquarters for a zombie? Which fucker let his zombie go wild in the middle of the deserted place?'
When he observed hundreds of zombies rising around him, Mike asked him.
'Damn you! Let's fight!' Mike tightened his fist and turned to face him.
'Or not!'
Snap! Snap! Snap! Snap! Snap! Snap! Snap! Snap! Snap!
Mike appeared dozens of kilometers away in less than five seconds.
A zombie in golden armor stood in the center of the vacant area at the time. He turned around and yelled, "Which imbecile summoned me and fled?"
Mike was already fleeing at this point. His pupils constricted. He noticed the masked figure standing there with his bow and arrow. A huge roar rang in his ears just as he was about to stop.
"Which imbecile summoned me and then fled?"
'Holy sh*t!'
"Goddamn it! "Get out!" Mike immediately panicked out and raced away, unconcerned about the masked man. When the masked man notices Mike approaching, he draws his bow and arrow and prepares to shoot him.
Snap!
Bang! Thud!
Mike immediately enters Normal Zombie Mode and coats his hand in four spirits. Blue Brutal Essence combines with his hand, lights gushing out of the back of his arm as brute force condensed on his fist.
Mike vanishes from his position and reappears in front of the man's eyes just before the man fires his arrow. When he sees Mike, all he can see is a fist in front of his eyes.
Thud! Bang!
Mike slammed his fist into the man's face and shoved him to the ground. Not just that, but bury his head in the ground as well.
Snap!
Mike teleports five hundred meters away, balances himself, and begins running away without looking back. But then he comes to a halt and decides to sit on the ground.
'Wait a second! That guy was still at the peak of general realm, right? So, why did I flee?'
Mike's face flushes as he thinks further, then he abruptly turns back and then thinks.
'No way! I don't have time to fight them. I need to complete the quest and meet with her. In regards to this location, I should return when I reach the peak of General Realm. For the time being, I can only concentrate on one thing at a time. My current objective is to finish the third monthly quest.'
Mike nods and gets to his feet. Then he pulls out the Bookmark Device and discovers the red circle.
'Wait, wasn't that the same spot I went earlier? The color red denotes danger. Fuck you! I'm sorry, but I'm not gay. But'
Mike had a downcast expression on his face. He would not have gone there if he had merely looked at the map. He regrets being a moron.
'All right, let's wrap up the second mission.' Finally, he dashes towards Golden Ape's location.
Running took him thirty minutes to get there. After arriving at this location, he examined the surroundings and looked up at the tall trees.
'The monkey lives in the trees. The guardian monkeys are apes. Despite their differences, both are monkeys. Two monkeys, one tree; two trees, one ape.'
"Roar!"
His heart skipped a beat when he noticed a golden ape on the tree.
"Kowaukkwak!"
When he saw Mike, the golden ape began roaring and making strange poses. Mike did the same thing when he saw the golden monkey.
"Kowaujjwak!"
"Hahahaha!"
A blast of laughter came from Mike's mouth when he understood what he was doing. He had no idea he could act like an ape.
"Hah! I suddenly don't want to murder you. Unfortunately, I must. So, my apologies!" Mike let out a sigh and snapped his finger. It leaped on its forelimb and connected his two feet just as he came behind the ape.
Bang!
The golden ape pushed his toes on Mike with incredible force. It was not only fast, but it was also quite strong. Mike deflected the attack with his forearms.
Bang! Thud!
However, the strength of the attack caused him to soar across dozens of trees until he collided with a large tree. Mike coughed up blood as he collapsed to the ground.
'Damn! This ape is powerful.'
Thud!
The ape suddenly materialized in front of him, making odd motions and roaring.
"Kowaukkwak!"
"What exactly are you saying?" Mike became perplexed when he noticed that the golden ape was not quite ready to fight, or was fighting in a different manner.
Mike was pointed out by the golden ape.
"Me"
The golden ape directed his finger at himself.
"You"
The golden ape slams his fists into each other.
"Fight!"
The golden ape drew an invisible circle with his finger in the air. Then he shook his head and crossed his arm.
"Hmm! You mean not teleportation like that?"
The golden ape gave a nod of approval. He gestured towards Mike before raising both arms to show off his biceps. He then repeated his invisible circle signal and performed a yellow leap.
"You mean I'm physically strong? You want to go head-to-head with me. But you don't want me to use my other abilities."
The golden ape smiles and nods.
Mike is deep in thought when he giggles and snaps his finger. "All right, I'll agree to that. But only if you place a wager. You realize I'm capable of killing you if I use everything I've got, right?"
The golden monkey folds his hand, pouts, and nods his head.
"All fine, I'll just use brute force. But we need to place a wager. If you win, I will not hunt you down and release you. But if I win, you'll have to be my pet."
The golden ape shook his head and scratched his skull. But, before Mike could respond, the golden ape sent out further signals.
He directs his finger at himself. He swings his hands together to form a body. He then formed a heart with his hand. Then he points his finger towards Mike, then at the ground. Then he raises both hands, pronouncing himself the winner. Then, using his fingers, he makes the walking signs.
He then creates a body with his hands once more. Then he collapses on one leg, holding a flower in his palm. Then, with his two fingers, he forms a hole and inserts his middle finger into it. Then he points to Mike and looks at him with devotion in his eyes, making the hands like a baby.
Mike stares at his hand signals, stunned, and adds, "You want me to lose in a brawl. So you may impress your love and fuck her. And, if I accept your request you will become my younger brother."
The golden monkey nods his head mechanically, his puppy eyes twinkling.
Mike slaps him on the back of the head and raises his middle finger.
"Fuck You!"