Chapter 73 – Schadenfreude

‘You Died!’

‘Score - 5’

‘Current Rating - Yawwwwn, is this really the best you can do? Even an ant has better mana than you do.’

I gritted my teeth. This bastard machine thinks it’s so funny, huh!

Well, I’d have to agree!

I wasn’t actually mad, in fact, it was hard to hold myself back from bursting out laughing. Honestly, this is the exact type of motivation I want to see.

Thinking about how other people would feel getting talked down to by a machine was absolutely hilarious!

Just earlier, I saw that man to my right nearly smash the screen in because a ‘You Died!’ message that appeared on screen.

Who created this thing!? I’d love to meet them! I have a few quotes to give them!

Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself before grasping the handle again.

…

While I was focusing my damnedest, I watched as the score ticked up by one.

I bit my lip, holding back my grin. C’mon, you bastard, what will you say this time?

As the score ticked up once more, the now familiar ‘You Died!’ message appeared on screen.

‘You Died!’

‘Score - 10’

‘Current Rating - Really? That’s it? You barely break the double digits and then fail immediately? Even a ten year old child could hold on longer than you.’

“Pfft!” I spat out, silently laughing as I read the quote.

As if! I’d like to see a ten year old do better than me! Those little ones probably can’t even get past 5!

‘Try Again?’

As I went to imbue my mana into the handle again, Luna gently poked my arm with a pitiful expression on her face.

“Huh? Mouse? Are you okay?” I immediately withdrew my attention from the machine and focused on the silver-haired girl.

“Hungry…” She let out sadly.

The tension in my face relaxed immediately as I lowered my head, trying to, but failing to hide my laughter.

Her words seem to set something off for me too, as my stomach growled shortly after.

Checking the time, it was already past evening. Dinner should’ve been made 2 hours ago.

Right, I got too locked in on training. I’ve been starving the poor mouse!

“Sorry, sorry.” I said after regaining my composure, “Shall we go eat out? Or, should I make you some steak?”

Luna hurriedly nodded, “Steak, please!”

“Alright, let’s go.” I replied, standing up.

Looking around, I saw that a lot of the people who were here when I entered had already left. The only person who was still here was that man on my right; He looked absolutely focused, not even blinking as he stared at the screen.

His score was at 433.

Curious, I gently pulled on Luna’s hand and stood still, calmly watching the man stare at the screen.

Luna didn’t say anything, deciding to watch along.

Half a minute later, the score ticked up.

‘You Died!’

‘Score - 434’

‘Current Rating - Garbage! Did you get your skill from a landfill? Even the pigeons picking up bread at the beach could do better than you!’

‘Try Again?’

“Pfft-” I immediately covered my mouth with my hand to stop myself from laughing.

The man silently raged, slamming his fist through the air and even hitting his thighs a few times. Though his mouth was spewing curses, no sound came out.

Luna stared at me, sighing with a shake of her head before grabbing my hand and dragging me out of there.

“Does it really amuse you that much?” She asked.

“Extremely. What’s it called? Schadenfreude? There’s a reason that word exists.” I said, the corners of my mouth risen to their peak.

“Haah…You’re such a bad person.” She said, “How would you feel if others laughed at your low score of 10?”

“I’d laugh along with them. It’s not like it’s life or death. When I get a score 10x-ing that later, I can look back with a smile and remember how much I sucked back then.”

“Hm…But what if you can’t raise that number? What if you get stuck at 10 for years? If people laugh at you when you’re trying your best but can’t make progress, wouldn’t you feel bad?”

“You’re being silly, Mouse.” I smiled, looking at her in the eyes, “If you’ve been attempting something for years without making progress, that’s called determination. Nothing people say or do will make you falter at that point. If anything, it fuels them—they’ll push themselves harder and harder until they finally push just one more point forward.

And when they do, they’ll smile. They’ll remember every word of mockery; The people who laughed at them and not with them can only wait for the clown to laugh back.”

“…” Luna stopped and stared at me for a moment.

“Wow…I sounded really cool just then!” I excitedly said, “Wasn’t I awesome!? That came off the top of my head! I should publish that in a book somewhere or write that on Tawer! The philosophy association should give me a directors position!”

“Haah…” Luna smiled and shook her head, that look of admiration in her eyes vanishing, “One of a kind, Bin. You’re one of a kind.”

“Right?” I smiled cheerfully.

“But what if the person quits after being laughed at?” Luna asked.

“Well then, dear Mouse, that’s quite unfortunate isn’t it?” I replied, “Those kinds of people are already having problems and need someone to uplift them and pull them out of the mud. Good luck to them. Is there a reason you’re asking about my views on this?”

“…” Luna stayed silent for a moment as we got into the car. She seemed to have something on her mind and was debating whether or not to say it, “It relates to why I fell out with my party.”

There were quite a few inferences I could make from the line of questioning and that alone. But, I stayed silent and let Luna take the floor.

Sitting in the car, the moon silently reflected off the dashboard. The sounds of the engine hummed softly as cold AC blew on our skin.

After a few moments, Luna finally started speaking,

“There was this boy even younger than me, 15 years old; He’d only join the party during gate clears. I saw him about 6 times. Each time, his clothes would be smeared with stains even before entering the gate; He wore the same white shoes every time, dirty laces and all.

My interactions with him, you could probably count on one hand. He was a porter—someone to carry things in and out of the gate. The bag on his back was always bigger than himself.

Before each gate, the party would toss him anything not important enough to keep on their person. Most of it wasn’t useful or needed in the gate.

The first time I saw him, we were entering a D-ranked gate. Nothing difficult, only enough to make some pocket money. It was mainly for the record in the association’s system.

During the gate, he was a little slow, but no one made things hard for him. He’s just a porter doing his job.

The second time was during another D-ranked gate. This time, he kept up pace. No one had to slow down and wait for him. While we were walking, the team started making small chat, talking about random things. Like famous rankers and if we could be a ranker, what would our alias be?

No one really took it serious. Although being a ranker is exciting and a dream for many, it’s also far out of reach. Just wishful thoughts. One of the team tossed the question to the porter.

‘When I’m a ranker…My alias will be ‘Sunrise’ because after the long dark, the sun rises every time.’ That was his answer. ‘Is that so?’ the person who asked him replied before immediately turning back to the others and continuing conversation. No one talked to him again for the rest of the gate, and no one took his words seriously.

Not even me.

The third time was a C-ranked gate. This was the first time I talked to him. While we were preparing to enter the gate and making sure we had everything ready, I handed him my excess potions. ‘Make sure they’re easy access.’ I said, he nodded and I walked away. Nothing more, nothing less.

The fourth time was another C-ranked gate. During downtime, we were resting at a campfire and regaining a bit of energy. It was after a mid-boss fight, so, we were quite tired. The boy retrieved some food from his bag and decided to make light meals for us to eat.

It was decent—better than the jerky we usually ate.

‘Hey porter-boy, instead of trying to become sunrise, how bout you just keep cooking meals for us instead. Seems like this path suits you more.’ A party member said lightly with a laugh. The others laughed along.

The boy didn’t respond but I saw his fist clench tightly by his side.

The fifth time was a D-ranked gate. Just padding the resume again. Everyone was taking it lightly. The monsters were just low-ranked kobolds. Any one of us could clear the gate alone if we wanted.

We came across a sole kobold separated from its group. As someone went to take care of it, a party member stopped them.

‘Hey sunny-boy, you want a go?’ He asked.

The boy flinched, his eyes widened and his adam’s apple bobbed. After a moment, he nodded and calmly set the bag on the ground. We looked on with interest as someone handed him a sword.

Taking a deep breath, he and the kobold faced each other. He swung.

He missed.

The sword was too heavy for him, so he started to stumble. The kobold’s scythe-like blades swung down at him.

Before the attack could land, another party member simply blocked the attack and killed the monster in a second before catching the boy’s arm to stop him from falling.

A few members spat out a chuckle and others held back their laughs.

‘At least he’s got cooking.’ Someone said. That drew a few loud laughs.

The boy stood up and bowed his head, staring at the ground in silence.

No one comforted him. No one brought it up again after that. We continued down that stone path. I briefly looked back and saw him with his fist tight and his jaw clenched.

‘Come on, sunny-boy. Let’s go.’ A member said.

The boy looked up, quietly picked back up the bag and followed.

The sixth time was a C+ ranked gate. It wasn’t the hardest one we’d have faced, but it wouldn’t be easy. When we entered the gate, everyone was on edge. We were too tense, it was at a point where it’d be easier to make mistakes.

‘Hey, sunny-boy, this is a real gate, we won’t be able to toss you in front of a kobold like last time.’ Someone said with a light tone.

The mood immediately relaxed, the party laughed. It was way better, at least we wouldn’t make any stupid mistakes from being too tense.

Thud. We heard the sound of something hitting the ground. It was the boy’s bag. Everyone looked at him. His fists was clenched and he had a pitiful expression on his face. Without a word, he ran out of the gate.

Confusion followed. Everyone looked at each other but no one said anything for a few moments.

When someone finally did speak, it was a sigh.

‘Looks like this clear’s pushed back.’

A symphony of groans followed. Without a porter, there’s no point in continuing the gate.

‘What a coward.’ ‘What a weakling.’ ‘Annoying.’ A few people grumbled in annoyance. No one felt sorry, no one cared about the porter’s feelings. No one cared that at his expense, we fixed our problem.

And realizing that made me angry.

I harshly rebuked the party and especially the one who made the joke. I felt that everyone should apologize. No one agreed.

I told the party leader, I firmly stated that we need everyone to apologize to the boy.

The leader…He shook his head without a single care. He was in a bad mood since the gate clear would be pushed back.

‘Why not?’ I asked.

He turned to me with a sigh, ‘Just a porter. We’ll hire a new one that won’t back out of the job.’ He said to me.

And then…Some part of me snapped. Maybe it was pity for the boy, maybe it was realizing that I was part of the problem, or maybe it’s just self-righteousness to make myself feel better; I yelled at the party leader and I yelled at the other members.

Then, I quit. I left and headed home, blocking each and every one of their numbers.

I don’t know what the boy’s up to now. I don’t know if what I did is right. And I don’t know why I feel so complicated right now.” Luna said, staring at her lap.

I tapped my pointer finger on my knee a couple times.

“You’re a kind person, aren’t you, Mouse?”