Chapter 157: Double Semi-Circle Grimoire

Preparations for negotiating the contract terms proceeded steadily.

First, we secured the supermarket and scouted the surrounding area. The Republic of Korea in this parallel world of 2038 resembled our world in many ways, but that was all. It wasn’t completely identical, and its history had taken a different path.

Most of the supermarket shelves had either been knocked over or left in a mess, probably from being looted once already, but that actually made them useful as cover and concealment. Near the entrance, shopping carts lay scattered around as if to testify to the chaos that had taken place back then.

Considering the Supreme Archmages had settled into a corner of the supermarket, it was a pretty excellent choice of location. There were no windows nearby, so there was little risk of being spotted from outside. The place had already been looted once, and all the spilled merchandise made the layout a complete mess.

It wasn’t somewhere hostile survivors with little time for a thorough search, or monsters spreading outward in pursuit of larger concentrations of humans would go out of their way to investigate. I carefully looked down at a bag of shrimp crackers laying on the floor, then slowly moved my foot so I wouldn’t step on it.

If you didn’t move carefully, you’d end up making quite some noise. Unless something infiltrated through some absurd route, it was also easy to keep watch here. Easy enough that even if Go Ryeoha, Lee Sejun, or Hamza suddenly approached from the corner where they were chatting among themselves, I’d notice immediately.

It would be stupid to just assume Go Ryeoha, Lee Sejun, and Hamza really came from our world.

To make contact with the owner of the grimoire, I had to dream, which naturally left my body completely defenseless. Even with the pastor here, if those three suddenly turned on me and threatened my safety, I’d lose the initiative. I had to be thorough.

With that in mind, I activated Ears-branch, Stage 1, [Mind Reading].

Fortunately, those three didn’t know much about how advanced my aptitude for Ears-branch magic had gotten. Among the Supreme Archmages, only Shin Nain and I knew exactly what Ears-branch magic felt like.

And once I heard their inner thoughts, I became certain they were the real ones.

'Can’t Hubae-nim just live without using magic? I could take really good care of him… Everyone from Konkuk University was happy with me doing that as well…’

Non-wizard hoarder Go Ryeoha.

Yeah, that was our Go Ryeoha, alright. Still, knowing how the Konkuk University survivors had ended up, I had absolutely no intention of ever relying on her. A Great Archmage stands on his own. He doesn't depend on others.

'Even if Manly-Jemin-ssi is unethical and selfish, he’s still way better than Wuss-Jemin-ssi getting pampered and nadenaded by other people. Whew. I’ve prevented the growth of my most dangerous rival!'

Disgusting bastard.

He wasn’t even worth a one-line review.

'Jemin-ssi really is insane. He’s actually going to use this horrible grimoire like that right away. I seriously need to keep my distance!'

On the topic of consistency, Hamza deserved a mention as well.

Even after coming to another world, Hamza was still constantly looking for his chance to run away. Maybe stubborn determination was proof of just how obstinate humans could be.

Still, Ears-branch magic let me confirm that all three really were the Supreme Archmages I knew. When it came to detection, Ears-branch magic really was overwhelmingly useful. The backlash was just terrible. I sighed and headed back toward the corner.

I climbed over the fallen shelves and moved with light, careful steps so I wouldn’t make any noise.

When I finally arrived, everyone turned toward me from where they were sitting beside the freezer or on top of sleeping bags. The pastor outright clicked his tongue and scolded me.

"You believe us now?”

"You’d have to be an idiot to believe things like that immediately, Pastor.”

I answered firmly.

Wasn’t it only natural to inspect the supermarket and finish verifying those three before I felt safe? Having people available to cover me didn’t change the fact that conforming the area was secure was an essential procedure.

According to the pastor, while I’d been missing my memory, I’d passed out from relief the moment I saw Go Ryeoha. That bastard really had been Dumbass Jemin. Just knowing he’d used the same body as me was unpleasant.

Feel relieved after seeing Go Ryeoha? What a damn idiot.

If it had been the real Great Archmage Baek Jemin, meeting Go Ryeoha of all people in this ruined Seoul of parallel-world Korea in 2038 would’ve immediately set off alarm bells, and he would’ve gone straight into combat readiness.

Anyway, now that I was sure we were safe, it was finally time to make contact with the owner of the grimoire.

I looked down at the Double-Semicircle Grimoire lying on the sleeping bag in place of a pillow and asked Hamza.

"Hamza, what do you think? Is it dangerous?”

"It’s dangerous enough that I seriously don’t want to be anywhere near you, Jemin-ssi. Outside honestly looks safer.”

"Good. So it’s the real thing.”

I knew this was reality, but it was still hard to believe.

Apparently, I had already made contact with the owner of the grimoire, became Dumbass Jemin as a result, and was now barely maintaining my original self with [Information Alteration]. So what was the most horrible memory I’d lost?

After thinking it over carefully, one came to mind.

The moment I tried to get into a gifted education center, talked about the test results with my friends, and realized that there were innate differences in human intelligence.

The part where idiots insisted that all humans were born equal, yet kept their mouths firmly shut about the fact that even intelligence, one of the most defining traits of a human being, wasn’t distributed equally. If I had to choose, that was the most horrible memory.

The cowardice of adults who chose to stay silent and look away rather than speak about an uncomfortable truth shattered young Baek Jemin’s pride.

Saying you want a child to see the world as beautiful is a selfish desire. Ashamed that they brought an innocent child into a world that isn’t beautiful, adults simply lie to themselves.

It would've been better to admit it honestly and plainly. The world and life are painful. But I still want you to live.

Not all humans are equal.

Some things can’t be overcome through effort.

Fortunately, most people never have to face the fact that it isn’t money or family background but human ability itself that there are differences in intelligence no amount of environmental improvement can ever allow you to suppress later in life. They never truly feel it.

And I was born just intelligent enough to recognize that fact and feel its weight.

There was a realm I could devote my entire life to and still never reach. I couldn't even tell others how cruel that fact was. I lived alone, chewing over a despair that would only make most people tilt their heads in confusion.

Because even people willing to try understanding why it was so cruel and horrifying were rare.

Those people probably wouldn’t even notice when someone was being considerate to them.

When the childhood friends who used to kindly give me the answers and walk me through the problems later put on awkward smiles, deliberately acted dumb, and said they found it hard too, they’d believe it was genuine.

They’d feel relieved, thinking, ‘See? They didn’t know either.’

Because rather than admit someone else was smarter than them and let their pride get hurt, they’d look away from the truth!

"Haaaaaah……”

I let out a hot breath, my emotions surging.

Once that turmoil inside me passed, I felt my resolve grow even firmer. Everything in the world was unfair, but magic alone returned exactly what you spent on it. Offer something precious, and it gave you precious power in return. That was why I felt both terror and exhilaration toward it.

There was no reason to hesitate.

I slowly unwound the True-Body Sarira beads wrapped around my arm and lay down on the sleeping bag. I didn't want them too far away, so I planned to leave them beside my head while I slept. Of course, I’d be using the grimoire as my pillow.

"I’m going to take a nap.”

"Manly-Jemin-ssi really is one stubborn bastard."

Lee Sejun’s snide remark made my closing eyelids twitch. Normally, if someone was trying to fall asleep, you were supposed to keep your mouth shut. But I couldn’t let Lee Sejun’s jab go unanswered.

"You’re one to talk. I’m sleeping. I need to sleep, so don’t talk.”

"I didn’t say anything to you, though?”

"Ah~ forget it. I was going to look into that disgusting TS whatever for you, but you can just spend the rest of your life hairy as hell.”

I swear I had never once considered doing that.

Trun Lee Sejun into a beautiful girl? This body had already resolved that I’d sooner ram him into an Amalgam’s head and shoot him dead. But fucking disgustingly enough, Lee Sejun instantly changed his attitude, became polite, and slammed his forehead against the floor.

I deliberately squeezed my eyes shut so I wouldn’t have to see it, but I heard the thud of his forehead hitting the ground. So there was no way I wouldn’t know.

"Senior Brother! Your junior brother kneels before you!”

"Oh, for fuck’s sake. Shut your mouth.”

"Yessir."

Hamza had already moved quite a distance away from me. The pastor kept muttering prayers under his breath, apparently still bothered by something, while Go Ryeoha continued grumbling.

"Hubae-nim. Once you fall asleep, you’re going to come back as a crybaby again, okay?”

Can I please just sleep?

And what the hell did she mean by crybaby? Great Archmage Baek Jemin may bawl his eyes out from pain, but he doesn’t cry just so other people will look down on him. Tears shed from pain are manly tears. Tears shed so you can lean on others are nothing but filthy crocodile tears.

While I was thinking about these random things…

A sudden cold, damp breeze blew over me.

Knowing these Supreme Archmages and how much they loved screwing around, they were obviously trying to disturb me because I was about to sleep peacefully by myself. Even though I was clearly going to meet the owner of the grimoire, they must have decided to interpret it however they wanted. In the end, I had no choice but to admonish them in a stern voice, like scolding children fooling around with the TV.

"Don’t leave the freezer door open. Close it. Stop screwing around.”

...

No one answered, and I didn’t hear a door close.

Yet the cool breeze kept blowing.

But more than that, the strangest part was my feet.

-Splash.

The feeling of my socks getting wet made my eyes fly open.

A strange sight greeted me.

A shallow, calm lake, clear enough to see the bottom. A horizon stretching perfectly flat into the distance without a single hill or mountain range. And beyond that horizon, gray clouds leisurely drifted by. When I glanced down without thinking, the surface of the lake reflected my own dumbfounded face.

Tiny, gentle waves continuously met and scattered across the surface.

The faint ripples approaching from ahead collided with equally faint ripples coming from behind me, bouncing away and forming a distinctive pattern each time. A double semicircle. Two semicircles overlapping.

Only then did I realize.

I had made contact with the owner of the Double-Semicircle Grimoire.

At that moment, my body staggered.

I wondered why, then listened carefully and realized what was happening. My eardrums felt like they were about to burst from pressure. The ringing piieeeeep sound was so loud that even keeping my feet planted on the lakebed beneath the water was difficult.

Yet the more awkwardly I stood, the harder I struggled forward and barely kept my balance, the more clearly the things I had forgotten returned to me.

The Mist of the Other Shore. Disciples. Human sacrifice on a global scale.

I…made a deal.

With a single transaction, I had obtained truths that should have been almost impossible to learn.

But I couldn’t bear the price and tried to run, and the owner of the grimoire didn’t allow me to escape.

This contract is absolutely fair.

Those who try to evade the contract, deny it, or exploit loopholes are punished.

If you claim you are worth more than 8 billion people, they take away the source of that belief. If you babble that you would pay any price to bring someone precious back to life, they take away the feelings that made that person precious to you.

From those who believe in family, it takes the memories they shared with their family. They strip away every memory of them until they look like complete strangers, then watch to see whether they can still cherish them.

For those who desire wealth and glory, every time they grant them the riches they want, they take memories starting from their past. They watch to see whether they can still be happy after obtaining every possession they ever wanted, even when they possess less than a handful of memories now.

Those who share neither memories nor experiences yet still want to insist they are the same person.

Those convinced there is something uniquely sublime about humanity, those who want to believe humans possess some unchanging individuality. The owner of this grimoire will gift them the cruelest ruin of all.

That ruin isn't as spectacular as humans imagine. It’s a far more horrifying ruin precisely because it’s damp, clinging, and insidious.

The owner of the grimoire came to bestow truth.

The truth that humans aren’t special.

They came to force the truth upon those who desperately struggle to find meaning in life because they want to deny it.

The emotion held by the owner of the Double-Semicircle Grimoire was…

Mockery.

I slowly raised my head.

At some point the clouds had cleared, leaving a night sky embroidered with starlight that made humans uneasy. Not a single cloud remained. An ordinary person would probably have fought desperately to deny it to the bitter end.

They would have barked at the owner of the grimoire like a terrified dog.

No. Humans are special. Humans possess something unique and sublime. Human life is filled with radiant honor and glory. Humans are born noble from the very beginning…

Even I couldn't help bursting out laughing at those counterarguments.

There’s  a difference between what you want to believe and the truth.

Isn’t that the principle of cognitive dissonance?

I stood here having already realized the truth that no human being is special.

The owner of the Double-Semicircle Grimoire was showing me a kindness that wasn’t quite kindness. While we proceeded with the contract here, it would proceed with all the knowledge and memories I had forgotten restored to me.

That was only natural, because that was fair.

I could make a guess.

Had the owner of the Double-Semicircle Grimoire truly accepted the contract because they considered me more valuable than 8 billion people? Ridiculous. Absolutely not. I’ve already realized the truth that I alone wasn’t special.

There was only one reason the owner of the Double-Semicircle Grimoire maintained fairness even when dealing with bugs like humans. Everything humans could offer them was worthless.

Therefore, in conducting this contract, actual value was completely irrelevant to them.

To the owner of the grimoire, 8 billion humans, billions of worlds inhabited by humanity, and the life of a single serial killer were all worth exactly the same. And yet the owner of the Double-Semicircle Grimoire has still intervened in the human world, scattered grimoires throughout it, and watched.

The key was to figure out why and strike at that point.

First, as the Supreme Archmages had testified, I released [Information Alteration], which should still have been active.

Immediately, violent noise crashed through me and nausea surged up.

"Uweegh, belgh…”

The depersonalization backlash was seriously vicious.

As Lee Sejun had put it, the memories of the person he called Wuss-Jemin had the memories of Great Archmage Baek Jemin became tangled together. The emotions that rejected, despised, and hated each other overlapped and came back as intense self-loathing. Fuck me. Am I a fucking idiot even when I’m normal?

Self-disgust surged up, but I gritted my teeth and endured.

No. I’m different now. I came here after admitting every ugly part of myself.

That alone put me far ahead of other humans.

I sighed.

Fortunately, the owner of the Double-Semicircle Grimoire had incredible patience. At least from a human perspective. Then I decided I needed to rethink that. The other party wasn’t human. I needed to cultivate some sensitivity toward nonhuman beings.

For all I knew, even watching me stand there rigidly while desperately holding back my nausea might be entertaining to them.

Only after steadying my breathing, straightening my posture, and swallowing several times against my sore throat was I finally ready to discuss the contract.

Tongue-branch, Stage 1 [Degradation].

The anxiously flickering starlight was decoded into human language. Human writing appeared across the surface of the gently rippling water. Countless signs flashed before my eyes and surged toward me in waves, and my fragile human brain screamed every time it interpreted one of them.

-Driiip…

Blood ran from my nose.

This was different from before.

This time, I was genuinely trying to make a contract.

Which meant that I, Baek Jemin, had managed to draw the attention of the owner of the grimoire.

At some point, my left hand had opened the grimoire. At some point, my eyes had turned upward toward the uneasily flickering stars. At some point, the surface of the once-calm, shallow lake had risen all the way to my waist.

Even so, I shouted.

"I want a fair transaction."

I had left the True-Body Sarira prayer beads behind, taken no magical precautions, accepted the truth that humanity wasn’t special, and came to stand before the being that mocked us.

Fairness.

No one would interfere. If the other party pressed down on me with a finger, I would simply be crushed to death with no safeguard whatsoever. That was the kind of fair negotiating table this was. There was no longer anyone beside me who could offer salvation or each out a helping hand.

Most people would naturally feel anxious in a situation like this.

I did too.

But…there was something swelling inside me that made my heart pound more strongly than the anxiety could shake me. It resembled the suspension bridge effect, yet it was decidedly different. A pure passion that made me smile for no reason, made my heart beat even harder, and set my hands and feet trembling seemed to rise from my entire body like a heat haze.

Something that one person might call a sacred flame, and another might call fervor, was boiling inside me.

I would call it ecstasy.

There was a being in front of me that would answer if I asked. A being that could make my ruin worthwhile stood before my eyes. It mocked me, but it still listened to what I had to say and would let me experience joy on the road toward my own destruction.

There were two major reasons my previous contract and transaction had failed.

First. I had tried to reduce the risk using the True-Body Sarira prayer beads.

Second. I had made the scope of the transaction far too broad, ensuring my ruin in a short period of time.

If I couldn’t obtain every answer at once, then I simply didn’t need to obtain them all at once.

The moment the other party restored all my memories, I had already decided what I would offer as payment.

Filled with this overwhelming ecstasy and emotion, I opened my mouth.

"To the one who mocks me, the owner of this book, I promise one moment as the price for one question.”

For a while, silence fell over the surroundings.

The water that had risen to my waist sloshed against my chest, while the stars gradually dimmed until the entire night sky turned dark. Then, at last, a revelation descended in human language.

That is fair.

I slowly released some of the breath I had been holding and continued.

"To the owner of this book, as the price for receiving one answer, I will pay the moments in which I experience joy and happiness outside the field of magic.”

This time, clouds began rolling in from beyond the horizon.

Your joy lies in achievement.

I shouted back at the revelation delivered in human language.

"No! I know how to feel joy outside of magic too. The owner of this book knows that as well!”

Countless memories, along with moments still waiting for me in the future, flashed past.

They were so grand and beautiful that reality and imagination blurred together, making me smile without meaning to.

Non-wizards applauding me with genuine respect. My mom and dad proudly say, ‘That’s our son.’ Even fantasies of some distant future, I had uncovered the truth behind everything, solved it all, returned as humanity’s savior, and smiled benevolently during an interview while saying there was nothing effort couldn’t overcome.

Everyone knew that the joys of Baek Jemin the human spannend all kinds of things.

Most people would want happiness and joy like that to last forever.

That was precisely what I intended to offer.

"I, Great Archmage Baek Jemin, will enjoy a fleeting moment of joy and happiness, then pay with the memory of having experienced that moment.”

Life was born lacking from the very beginning.

We move forward to fill what we lack, not to strip things away. Our lives are an endless relay of desire meant to make up for what is missing, a biological instinct that cannot be overcome without disciplined self-denial.

And it was also the driving force that had made humanity what it was today.

Satisfaction and happiness.

People treat those things as something magnificent and call a palace where eternal happiness can be enjoyed heaven, but…

My heaven was different.

"I request a contract so that I may enjoy eternal lack and eternal longing, so that I never settle along the way and abandon magic. One question and one answer. With a fleeting happiness and a brief joy as the price, I will challenge the pinnacle of magic.”

An endless sprint.

With the arrogant certainty that my limits wouldn’t end here, I would surrender myself to that burning thirst and run forever, then embrace ruin without regret the moment I finally struck my limit.

This was my heaven.

My heaven wasn’t a place where everything was fulfilled but a palace where I could run forever!

-Haaah…

A deep sigh escaped me.

I had no idea how the other party took that answer. I could only hope it was enough for a being that mocked humanity, one that deliberately took an interest in us because it wanted to deny that humans were special.

The lake that had risen around me receded until it was shallow again, barely reaching my ankles. Clouds returned to cover the stars, while the horizon glowed in every direction beneath the light of a sunset.

And after that long silence, an answer finally came.

I will take your right eye.

I laughed before anything else. I'd expected it to demand something extraordinary, but that was nothing. I’d already offered that eye to magic once. If I was going to whine about sacrificing one damn eye to magic and desperately try to get it back, why had I sacrificed it in the first place?

Only someone who didn’t understand what a sacrifice was would think like that.

A sacrifice is a sacrifice because it’s precious.

Burning trash was called illegal incineration. Nobody in their right mind would call that a sacrifice.

Mysticism tells you to offer something precious as a burnt offering. It doesn't tell you that you can burn trash and receive whatever reward you want.

"Gladly."

I felt a sharp pain run through me.

Enough to make me close and reopen my eye without even realizing it.

When I opened my eyes again, something felt strange. Looking down at the water, I saw the Eyes-branch magic symbol engraved in my right eye. It had become harmful again. With the dead eye back in place, a small sense of regret and a pride that this was how a wizard should look rose inside of me alternately.

I closed my right eye, tapped the eyelid twice with the index finger of my right hand, and smiled.

"I’ll also pay with the joy and ecstasy I felt when my right eye came back to life. One question and one answer. A fleeting joy and ecstasy. Exactly according to the contract terms.”

Silence returned.

Apparently, they didn't consider that an insult. If they had, I would’ve been crushed to bits already.

That was how I interpreted it as I thought about what question to ask.

It couldn’t be too broad. I couldn’t try to obtain too much at once. Instead, I had to use this for something I could verify with certainty, something that would extract a crucial clue. Great Archmage Baek Jemin’s memories were precious, so naturally the answer I received in return had to be precious as well.

At last, I settled on one and opened my mouth.

"The thing I refuse to call a god. I noticed it. Are you something like that as well?”