Private Class

An empty paper lay still over an empty desk, a pen on the side, a hand on another.

The boy stared at the blank page, tapping his palm quietly on the desk while the other fumbled the pen between its fingers, trying to distract his mind.

He didn’t have many thoughts to spill over the blank page, his eyes barely stayed on his desk as he absentmindedly stared into the window’s direction, his gaze watching the lazy clouds slowly pass by, trees swaying under the careless wind and the world moving forward, away from him and the paper.

“What’s is it?”

Someone asked from above. Showing the unmistakable professional tone and the height difference between the two as a shadow fell over his face.

Valentine looked down at his chest, averting his gaze.

“It’s pointless.”

He said, slightly disheartened.

There was nothing he could say, he was as clueless as anyone would be.

Gripping the edge of his desk, he grit his teeth weakly, trying to hide his frustration.

“I don’t understand any of it, I’m just… going to fail and give up like I always do, there’s no point.”

Valentine’s head fell.

He didn’t have the guts to look up at the shadow above him, the face, the voice, all of it made him break into cold sweat that brought back the memories he buried deep within, his thoughts hurt, his body ached, his skin shivered from the cold air that brushed against his neck, the open window that made it be… was ever so tempting for him to look at and flow away into the river of his own mind, taking him away with its lazy current that led to nowhere, an endless loop of repetition and failure.

“Why do you think so?” The teacher asked, snapping him out of thought.

“Because that’s how it is.” He said, rubbing his nose. “It never changes, and never will.”

The teacher leaned over, hands visible through his narrow gaze.

“But you’ve just begun to thread that path, do you really think it’s going to stay that way?”

The question was repeated, again, too many times for him to count.

He frowned, his cheeks puffing up from doubt.

“It always did.”

“But can’t you try to change that?”

Valentine glared, retorting, almost spitting.

“Why should I? I know I’ll fail, I always do.”

The teacher leaned closer, face almost visible through the slit of his vision.

The closer she came, the more he tried closing his eyes, thinking that cutting himself away would save him from it.

“Perhaps you simply didn’t try hard enough to accomplish it.”

She said, pulling back.

Valentine finally could breathe, his heart pounding against his chest.

“So what if I didn’t?” He shot back, his finger stopping on his desk. The sound rough, like cold stone.

“I’m too stupid to learn it.” His voice became quieter with every word as his face slowly fell on the desk, the warm leather brushing against his skin like a greeting.

The teacher’s shadow vanished, or rather, blended into the surroundings.

The classroom disappeared, the desk replaced by a pair of knees and the voice, now young, called out again.

A memory of the past, invading the present.

“Then why try it in the first place? There must be a reason why you fought to stay.”

Lilith asked with her cheeky tone, the way she spoke, was the same way she ridiculed him when they sparred.

But Valentine could not refuse to answer, he just… went along with it, carried by her own separate flow.

“I… don't have a reason,” He murmured, burrowing into his knees.”Maybe… I should have stayed back in the cabin…”

He looked up at the girl for once. At her short dirt-blonde hair tied in a bun, her ruffled uniform that hung loose over her shoulders, her smirking face and the eyes… that looked like a pair of fresh jade.

His mouth curled up into a sneer.

“You hate me.”

Lillith smiled, not denying it.

“For good reasons.”

Saying so, she sat next to him. On the stone steps that led to the surface, next to the lamp he was trying to ignite.

“Like what? Please tell me.”

He asked, to which she looked down, at the light coming from the hall.

“It’s private.”

She finally said, her eyes shifting.

Valentine wanted to laugh at what he was seeing, he finally understood why she wanted to make him suffer during the spar. It was a quiet gaze, silent despite her loud facade, a gaze not meant for him, nor her, but another.

He knew that look all too well.

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“It’s Noah, isn’t it?”

He suddenly asked, the girl’s shoulders shook.

She froze for a moment, her lips twitching briefly before she leaned back on the staircase, her eyes closed, then opened, to him, different.

“And what if it was?”

“I wouldn’t care,” Valentine shrugged, trying to light up the lamp with the lighter from Sunday. “I’m not one to judge, I’m only a stranger who minds his own business.”

The metal clicked beneath his fingers, letting out sparks that lit up the stone staircase briefly, but it seemed it could not ignite the lamp no matter how many times he spun the tiny wheel.

“You certainly didn’t seem that way back there.” She chuckled quietly, referring to Matthew who was most likely cursing at Valentine for his outburst.

The boy sneered, he didn’t want to think about the pathetic worm that resulted in him getting kicked out.

“I hate pricks who think they’re at the top of the world, it makes my skin itch just by looking at them.”

Lilith sighed, leaning back on the cold steps.

“But was it really necessary to hit him? I’m not saying you shouldn’t have, of course, he deserved it quite a lot. I’m surprised Noah didn’t intervene until you started crashing onto him.”

“I…” He looked down at himself, his hands wrapping tighter around his knees. “I’ve had a friend similar to him a long time ago.”

“Oh? A friend you say?” She raised her brow, smiling in curiosity.

He looked at her bright expression, a weak smile finding its way onto his face as he tried to come up with proper words, but swallowed them right after, his eyes focused on her chest, or rather the tiny crest etched into her white shirt.

“Not anymore, clearly.” Valentine laughed weakly. “I didn’t like him in the first place, always something fishy about these kinds of people.”

“You mean the nobles?”

Lilith tried to correct him, but it seemed to irritate the boy.

Valentine glared at her.

“They clearly aren’t.”

“Well, you can’t do much against it. Noah hesitated because of his status.”

“He’s soft.”

Valentine spat out.

Lilith watched him for a long second before, without much of a problem, nodding along.

“Indeed he is.”

The silence that followed was more than uncomfortable.

The two weren’t that far up, just enough to not get hit by the bright light of lamps. Of course, the main reason why Valentine was there, is because he could not figure out how to light up the lamp. Perhaps having held it only once in his lifetime, didn’t teach him how to light it up properly without breaking it.

So they sat there instead, drowning in their own thoughts.

As time passed, the sound from the class became louder, more distinct. They could hear voices, multiple different tones that changed and overlapped. Carina’s cheerful laugh that echoed across the staircase, Livia’s surprised screams of fear and anxiety, Martin’s raspy grunts that sounded more like death throes of a dying beast rather than a smoker with a worn-down face.

However, they stayed there, alone in the quiet.

Lilith was clearly there to make sure Valentine didn’t leave, he figured that much at least. She wasn’t a bad person, but she wasn’t good either, something in between that didn’t match. The more he thought about it, the more he saw himself in her place, a person ruled by emotion that does not try to hide what they think.

But she wasn’t a person he could relate to, she was someone with a life fundamentally different from his own.

No matter how much he looked at her figure, he always thought of how different she seemed mere moments ago, resting on the chair with a heavy gaze.

Hiding his face in his knees, Valentine slowly turned his head her way, his voice lower than before but this time, inviting, as if he’d finally accepted her presence near him.

“...Why did you come here?”

He asked, finally earning her gaze.

Lilith looked at his hidden face and the way he spoke like a child.

She then started laughing, softly, her voice no louder than his.

“To help out a student in need, no?”

“What a joke…” He smiled, his face hidden.

“You didn’t seem to think that way back there.” She said, carrying a hint of relief.

Valentine stared at her before frowning.

“Are you trying to act like you know me?”

“I’m not, I just do.” She said as if it wasn’t an opinion but a statement.

“I know that you wanted to know all about it, that something was stopping you from doing so.”

She suddenly straightened up, turning his way.

“So why not give it…” Lillith stopped herself briefly, thinking for a moment. “Why not give me a chance?”

“...After what you’ve done to me?”

She froze briefly before awkwardly averting her gaze.

“I won’t deny that.” She nodded. “But it wouldn’t hurt, now would it?”

“What if it will…?”

“Then Noah will help you instead, you seem to like him better than me anyways.”

Valentine narrowed his eyes, watching her creeping closer to him like a snake, her face just a breath away from his.

“You’re insane.” He said, feeling his insides growing hot.

“And you’re quite red, aren’t you?” She smirked, placing a palm across his back. “Maybe this will help you cool off.”

His eyes shot wide open.

Gah!?

Like a web of cracks, he felt something getting drawn beneath his back. The sensation of her fingers touching him could be vividly felt over his coat, the feeling of her cold skin sending shivers through his back as air was drawn from within his lungs, sucked out in an instant for him to choke on his own tongue.

As he grasped at his throat, Lilith instantly let go, the sensation cutting off like a string being snapped.

Gasping, he reached for his back, for the place where she placed her palm.

But as he kept holding onto it, he noticed a change.

His breathing felt better, like inhaling pure oxygen for the first time in his life. As if the weight off his shoulders had been lifted, he could for once breathe on his own, taking in the air that tasted like dust and ash.

With wide eyes, he turned to Lillith, barely holding back the astonishment in his voice.

“How… Did you do that?”

Lilith shrugged as if it were no big deal.

“Pyra, how else?”

She stood up, her boots clicking against the stone as she came in front of him, standing above his face.

“Lesson one, drop the attitude, it doesn’t suit you.”

“What the hell are you…”

“Lesson two, no talking back.”

His face twisted.

“Am I your slave or something?”

She kicked him in the shin lightly.

“Lesson three, no joking around.” Her tone shifted, it became stern, not the one she used before.

“This is a class, not a stage. You don’t have to play like a clown to be successful, you have to be the audience, so sit down and listen, anything else?”

“...” He swallowed his words.

Lilith waited for a moment, giving him time to breathe before nodding to herself satisfied.

“Great, I guess we can go over to the next step.”

As she said that, she raised one of her hands, her right index finger to be exact.

“Since you didn’t pay attention to Noah’s explanation, I’ll teach you the first step.”

From her finger, a trail of smoke started to come out, the source unknown.

But something inside Valentine, was telling him that this was no ordinary smoke.

“Pyra, the conduit for the power we all wield and bear the responsibility for. The source of the flames and the remnants of ash.”

Although he could not see it with his eyes, he could feel it all across his skin as his hair stood on end.

A power beyond anything he’d ever seen.

“Let me show you how to wield it…” She said with a casual smile, drawing a perfect circle made of smoke in front of him.

The air became thinner.