Chapter 283 - 123: One-Life Clear (Part 1)

Chapter 283: Chapter 123: One-Life Clear (Part 1)

No wonder Father Gu was unwilling to publicly name his daughter’s killer. All the information was sealed. Perhaps they never found the culprit, or perhaps they did... and discovered the killer had a familiar face.

His own wife had murdered his own daughter.

What an absurd truth.

Zhang Shutong unconsciously clenched his fists.

’He had always believed that simply protecting Gu Qiuyan’s life was enough to complete his mission. But in this moment, he realized that just keeping her alive was far from enough. What would happen if he just let things play out? The woman would break into the villa, and the bodyguards would subdue her. Of course, it might not go so smoothly. There would inevitably be a vicious fight. She might be seriously injured, or she might be killed. And then Father Gu, also in the villa, would approach her under the protection of his men and get a clear look at her face.’

Zhang Shutong didn’t really care about the big boss’s emotional baggage. He first considered what would happen if he told Father Gu in advance, but then he remembered the handgun and the bloody hole in the temple.

’So that’s how it was...’

’What would have happened if they’d stayed at the hospital? He would have brought Gu Qiuyan back to the villa at dawn, the two of them on a single bicycle, sighing with relief that they hadn’t been discovered. But how could they have been? It would have been a miracle if anyone had noticed. After all, the people who cared about her were all gone that night.’

"She hasn’t had it easy these past few years."

’In fact, it was surely much worse than "not easy." Perhaps in Gu Qiuyan’s eyes, if she hadn’t chosen to trust me and sneak out of the house, none of this would have ever happened.’

Zhang Shutong then noticed the photos that filled the room. ’Regret is the most useless, most tragic thing. You can hate the heavens, the earth, your enemies, but nothing compares to the helplessness of hating yourself. All you can do is stare blankly, heartbroken and alone in the dead of night.’

’She must feel regret, too.’

’Reason told him he should tell Gu Qiuyan right now, and then have her tell her father. A woman filled with murderous intent would be storming the villa in just a few dozen minutes. Then, they would have to bank on Father Gu being strong enough to clear the scene—to deal with a body—before Gu Qiuyan returned.’

But Zhang Shutong didn’t dare to take that gamble.

He had already used up one extra chance.

But who knew how many more chances like that he had.

His head started to spin again. Zhang Shutong sat on the bed, panting softly.

An answer seemed to form in his mind, but right now, even walking was difficult, let alone running. So he gave himself thirty seconds to steady his breathing.

Zhang Shutong suddenly thought of Song. In that moment, he finally understood what Song had been struggling with—why he had quit his job to come to this small island, why he was always driving that little Ford Fox around aimlessly, and why he didn’t have a single friend or acquaintance here.

For four whole years, the man had measured this land with his wheels. His car and his cigarettes were his only companions, until the cabin was steeped in a smell of smoke that would never wash out.

He surveyed the tidy room, wondering what the man did during those countless nights. ’If you let your place become a mess, at least you have all the garbage on the floor to keep you company. But if you keep it perfectly neat, you’re left with nothing but loneliness.’

Song Nanshan had said he saw his former self in him. He probably understood Zhang Shutong, but Zhang Shutong had never understood him. Or rather, no one had ever truly understood him. To others, he was a promising young man who’d let himself go, a lunatic, a lovesick fool driven to delusion by heartbreak. But only the man himself knew he had carried a secret in his heart for four years, all to find some kind of closure for himself.

’Because who would ever believe something like that? So you have no choice but to hide it in your heart, wandering the roads alone in your car.’

Zhang Shutong subconsciously reached for his phone but pulled out a stiff card instead. He looked closer and saw it was a gas coupon. The car’s center console had been stuffed with them. Who knew how much gas he had burned through in four years. The man had told him he needed something to show for those four years, so he hadn’t thrown the cards away. At the time, Zhang Shutong hadn’t understood how keeping a box of scrap paper could count as proof of anything. But now, looking at the words "Three Yuan Discount" on the card, he understood. These were the medals a man had left behind.

Even though he had found nothing.

Zhang Shutong couldn’t think about it anymore. He just felt a profound exhaustion. The countdown was now at fifteen seconds. He let himself fall back onto the bed and gently closed his eyes. When he opened them again, his gaze landed on a photograph at the foot of the bed.

The photo was placed where he would be sure to see it before falling asleep. It was a picture of a short-haired woman at an amusement park, holding cotton candy.

’The amusement park...’

Zhang Shutong knew the woman had been in a car accident on the very night they’d returned from the amusement park. The man hadn’t driven her home, and thus missed out on a lifetime with her.

’And what did he think about, looking at this photo every night?’

’I’ve been running myself ragged for just four days, from Wednesday to Saturday, and I’m already at my breaking point. But he... he did this for four whole years.’

But now Song was down for the count, his car totaled. Zhang Shutong had seen photos of the car’s interior from the ambulance—all the airbags deployed. The little Bulbasaur figure hadn’t been spared, either; its head was torn from its body. Yet Zhang Shutong remembered Song saying his girlfriend had glued it on, and that he would’ve tossed it long ago if it wasn’t stuck on so damn tight.

’In truth, it was the woman he’d never met who was stuck so tightly in Song’s heart.’

Zhang Shutong decided to spend one extra second on something important. He picked up the diary again and flipped to the last page. He hadn’t examined it closely before, but now, he was desperate to know what it said.

In the past, he had used it to vent his thoughts and frustrations:

"Today was a day off. I drove around the island five times."

"It’s like you suddenly vanished."

"I’ve memorized every road on the island by now."

"Maybe it really is a hallucination."

"But I don’t believe it."

"I think I might be going crazy."

"But I’m going to keep searching anyway."

He searched for four years. In the end, all that remained was this single, understated sentence:

"Yun, I’m 28 now."