Will of chaos

Pov Vecna:

“(Where am I now…?)” (me)

This time the memory shifted. I was in my room, I rarely went there back then. Sleeping in the lab was routine for me, eating in the office was a daily occurrence, and resting was a luxury I never allowed myself. Having a timer above my head was a time limit that wouldn’t reward any rest.

Seeing that I was waking up in that bed, which had probably only been used a few times, makes me realize that this didn’t happen naturally. The clothes are also exactly the same as the ones I was wearing when that event happened.

I open my arms and a handprint full of lines appears on my arm. I don’t remember it, and my memory version also seems thoughtful before getting up, returning to its routine.

This time, that hooded thing didn’t reappear. The memory also followed my old self all day, without skipping to the parts it wanted to show like before. I don’t know what it wants me to see, but I can’t resist it, so I’ll just see what’s different this time.

———————-

30 days later.

This time, many days passed, but now I understand what she wanted to show me. I followed the version of my memories, even so, those same memories were very different from the ones I remember. In fact, there were already several gaps in my memory that I let pass without question, crediting the passage of time.

To begin with, I tried to figure out the best order to awaken the powers I needed, not with normal people, but with Project Dawn, along with Urak and Mavor.

I had also stopped trying to stop the collapse of the universe. I don’t know why I stopped, it was sudden. In fact, my focus shifted completely to another aspect: surviving the universal collapse.

That encounter with that thing and the appearance of that hand had a meaning. There was more to it than our universe. This meant I wouldn’t die along with the universe. I understand that mentality, but I didn’t remember it happening so early in my existence.

Another change was the tool the Entity left in my hands. The first time I used it was with No. 89. He had my genetic code, and his young body was very similar to mine. He was the best guinea pig to test that tool.

Now I know the name of this tool is the Anomalous Incubator, but at the time, I only had an unknown artifact in my hands: an artifact that made each of the Essences react just by getting close. An artifact that, after much analysis, I was able to discover very little.

I would never use something unknown on myself. I didn’t even know if it was a one-time use or if it could be used repeatedly. My past self wasn’t that different, and I chose to test that thing on Experiment No. 89.

But something happened, my memory self didn’t notice. As soon as the Anomalous Incubator touched No. 89, a bright flash occurred. I could see all the equipment failing, and my past self closed her eyes due to the intense light. It was at that moment that the Anomalous Incubator became ethereal and, as if with a life of its own, entered my body, while all the light it produced returned to the baby with fragments of the Essences that were in the room.

The baby’s body had been meticulously created. The pathways of its arteries and veins, the shape of its bones, the position of its organs—everything about it was absolutely controlled, and with the light penetrating its tiny body, those energies were beginning to destroy it.

The “I” in that memory rejoiced at seeing it. Hajak had repaired all the damaged devices, and together with me, we began experimenting.

Using the same logic as when we built the room, we made the various energies mutually restrain each other, thus gaining time for all the purely theoretical experiments we wanted to achieve. That was when I discovered the Anomalous power within the baby and, from it, refined the Essences into something that was part of the baby’s body, something more controllable.

All this without realizing that the artifact was actually inside my body, without realizing that what was in the baby was merely the remnants of the artifact’s power.

“(It was at that moment that the Incubator began to function. It’s funny how you didn’t realize the Anomalous Incubator was shaped like an egg.)” (????)

“(That doesn’t make sense. No. 89 was the first Ascendant. We used him to complete the Ascension process, which until then was merely theoretical. We also used what we learned from his body to create the Seeds of Creation, and then, when we achieved Ascension, his body was used to create the Flow of Laws.)” (me)

“(It would be impossible for you to modify my memory so much as to alter facts that have been proven in many subsequent tests over millions of years.)” (me)

“(There is no error in your statement; your son was the first Ascendant, as you saw.)” (????)

“(But you never asked yourself about your Law; after all, you were the second Ascendant.)” (????)

“(Urak used Essences of space, Nature, (Life and Star to refine his Law of the Universe.)” (????)

“(Mavor used Essences of the Elements, craftsmanship, and knowledge to create his Law of Creation.)” (????)

“(Now I ask, which Essences did you use to refine the Law of Ascension, you adorable genocidal maniac~?)” (????)

“(…)” (me)

I didn’t know how to answer. I didn’t remember how I obtained my Law. I remember the various Ascension Laws I refined later to connect with my own whenever I ascended to a new level, but I don’t remember how I created the Ascension Law.

I tried to disassemble the Law in my consciousness with everything I know about it, but unlike the other Laws, I couldn’t decompose its parts. This was never something I thought about. My studies of my Law have always focused on understanding its effects and function, never on its roots.

“(You created a Law from scratch?)” (me)

“(I didn’t create anything, you were the one who created the entire theory behind the Ascendant Law and Ascension.)” (????)

“(If your universe weren’t so insignificant, then you would have become at least a Demigod and had the opportunity to become a God.)” (????)

“(I still don’t understand what you gain from all this, I don’t even understand the reason you appeared so many millennia later…)” (me)

I couldn’t accept everything that was happening. Keeping my cool was a little harder now, not because of what might happen, but because my past knowledge was so incorrect. Data that previously seemed like discrepancies now turned out to be more accurate than I imagined.

Snap

She snaps her fingers again, the memory shifting once more. We were inside a planet-sized ship, a ship built from the power of Ascendant Law by Mavor. The three of us were in a room while Urak spoke about the collapse spreading across 45% of the Universe and several natural systems failing on a massive scale.

The three of us each had a pair of wings on our backs. We had undergone our first Ascension just two days ago. They were standing next to me, watching the largest rift that had opened in the collapse zone.

Before Ascension, we couldn’t see through these rifts; our senses couldn’t peer through these energies, and our minds couldn’t comprehend what was there. After Ascension, we had much to prepare for, and yet the three of us stood there staring at that Spatial Rift. This was the first time we had seen a Creature of the Abyss.

I remember everything that came after in more detail. I look back and that figure covered in those thick hooded clothes was there, standing like a statue, that soot-like energy still being sucked from every corner into his hood.

“(I get it… you never wanted anything from me, you’ve been using me as bait from the start, you just wanted to steal another Entity’s power.)” (me)

“(You wanted someone who could stand out enough to draw the Entities’ attention, that’s why you gave me that artifact. You wanted to ensure I stood out even more.)” (me)

“(You’re partially correct, but you still don’t see everything…)” (????)

“(These idiots’ power is very good, but there are more things I’ll need…)” (????)

“(Now I’ll ask just once, who am I~?)” (????)

“(…)” (me)

“(I don’t know…)” (me)

Snap

She was once again close to me, the memory around us shattered completely, what remained was only a half-collapsed castle and versions of me being tortured in many places.

Looking up, I see mountains upside down. Looking at the parts outside the edge of this island where the castle stood, it wasn’t an ocean around, it was a blue sky with distant clouds, the entire island was upside down.

She guides me inside, the various versions of me being tortured were collapsing as I passed them, all just images she was showing me, just like everything else here.

She led me through the castle to a strange throne room. In this room, there was a set of stairs with a few steps leading up to a ruined throne. It looked like a marble throne with its back cut diagonally by something. On one side of this strange throne room were dozens of bookshelves, thousands of them, reaching the ceiling. On the opposite side was a circular pool surrounded by nature that stood out from the rest. Energy particles leaked from this pool, and as I passed by, I realized it wasn’t water inside; it was entire galaxies colliding in a cataclysm that caused these energy particles to leak out of the pool.

As she walked up the stairs to the throne, her clothes became tighter, defining a humanoid body, revealing her two hands, equally bound by these ethereal silver bandages.

As soon as she sat on the throne, part of it fell away, and the entire space trembled. There was a shift in the atmosphere. Suddenly, everything seemed more real. It no longer felt like I was in an image she’d created. The change wasn’t superficial, but too great to be irrelevant.

“What did you do?” (me)

“I’ll ask one more time, do you know who I am~?” (????)

“…” (me)

I had my doubts. She guided me to the answer a few times, but I didn’t believe her. I’d never found any trace of her existence in my life, and yet she was the only one who could wield the Anomalous power, as well as chaos, a being like that.

“You’re the Bringer of Chaos…” (me)

“So you’ve only guessed that far~… you’ve also jumped to conclusions…” (????)

“I’m no longer the Bringer of Chaos, I don’t even exist right now… but you can call me Paradox~…” (????)