Will of chaos

Pov Athena’s:

“No… No… No… No… No… No… No…” (I)

I was on my knees with my hands on the floor as tears fell from my eyes, the images of what I saw and heard repeating themselves in an endless cycle.

“Lie… lie… it was all a lie… lie…” (I)

“Is that all you can do!?” (Caitlyn)

“…” (I)

“That’s your determination and willpower!?” (Caitlyn)

“I… I can’t…” (I)

“Do you want to give up? Then raise your hand to me and say the words!” (Caitlyn)

“…” (I)

“(This is a nightmare, a mere illusion, why can’t I do it, why do I accept it!?)” (I)

I look at my hands, lifting them from the floor, my hands were shaking, I felt my mind was confused and my body was weak, I had no desire to do anything, I had nothing to hold on to.

“(Nothing has changed, nothing has changed, I’m just a burden to others…)” (I)

“If you want to give up, then say so while shaking my hands!” (Caitlyn)

I wanted to give up, being very honest with myself, I don’t believe I can do that, I can’t even look at my reflection in the mirror anymore.

I looked at my hands that are so different from the past and then at the wings on my back that have long since lost their white color.

“(I can’t disappoint them too or else what’s the meaning of still being alive?)” (I)

The images of my friends, the image of my new Mother, and the image of master Zenos appearing in my mind, my friends trusted me, fleeing from the Church of Light guided by me, Zenos and Vanessa welcomed me into their home when it could still be considered an enemy, they shared their Lineage and their power with someone like me.

I shake my hands once again, I don’t know how many times I’ve been through this, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go through this, but I won’t give up again regardless of what happens to me.

“I… I’ll continue…” (I)

With that Mistress Caitlyn snaps her fingers once again, making the world around me change.

What I’ve been doing all this time is reviewing my past, now knowing how to distinguish what I couldn’t at that time.

My mother reading books when I was a child, books about the Inquisitors hunting heretics and the history of the Church of Light, were happy memories of my childhood as it was the only time of day I was able to see my mother, but realizing these memories I discover that it was never her, every night her voice, pronunciation and even the tone of speech changed.

I knew immediately that it was an illusion magic of the light element, a magic that I myself know how to use, my mother had always not paid attention to me, I was not able to accept this fact and I always made excuses for her.

At some events where our family got together, people talked about their contributions, my mother spoke with pride about my sister and with the hope that I would follow the same paths as my sister, but she never asked anything about me, how I was feeling, what that I wanted or even hugged me once.

My father was different, he found a few hours to train me every 2 days, the training didn’t end until he had to return to his post next to the Supreme Priest, it didn’t matter when my bones were broken, how much I was injured, how much If I was crying or if I was trying to run, he would just heal me enough to be able to move to continue training.

All the time his cold eyes focused on me, he looked the same way at my sister, a few times I was able to see him giving us the same training for her, but I was never able to follow his movements at that time.

At the end of each training, he always leaves leaving me lying on the floor, my blood everywhere, leaving it for me to heal myself as part of the training.

In my head, I believed that he was strict like that to make us strong, but the truth was that he didn’t want weak children, it was unacceptable for him.

My sister was always the one who spent the most time with me, she smiled genuinely, she showered with me, she ate with me, she guided me in my training, she taught me things that the teachers didn’t teach me and she was always an example to me.

Her memories are the best, so they are also the worst when I see that she never called me by name, during training, she called me the sword of light, and she talked about how we should be weapons to eradicate managers.

On more than one occasion, as I got older, I was taken to see heretics and criminals interrogated, I was taken to executions, and I even had to carry out some.

She never treated me like a real sister and she does now, but still, she was the only thing I thought I had, the only thing I could hold on to.

—————

“Rise and fight heretic!” (sister)

“…” (I)

After going through my memories again I am always brought here, the field where they trained when I was younger, but now she stands in front of me with disgust in her eyes, she doesn’t see me as a sister but as another heretic to be eradicated.

“< Blade of Light >” (Sister)

“< Blade of Light >” (I)

Our swords meet in the middle of where we were, unlike the past our strengths are equal, I have become much stronger than I was in the past.

Our swords collide tens of thousands of times, punches and kicks colliding almost synchronously between sword bodies, I know all of her moves because I was trained by her, in a head-on fight in an open field there was no way I could be hit by blows that he knew.

“< Blade of Eclipse >” (I)

“< Holy Solar Sword >” (sister)

As the blade of my sword turns gold and silver, my sister summons an all-golden sword with the blade engulfed in white flames.

But even though her power is greater than mine now, my Aura was stronger suppressing her to capitalize on every retreat she gave, our battle became increasingly cruel exchanging wounds where I as Rogue always came out on top.

In the end, I win like every other time, my sister lying beneath the sword in my hands.

This isn’t the first time this happens, but I can never take the final step, I can’t kill her, I know I need to end her to leave the past behind, leave all this lie I grew up with behind, I already have a place where I am not lied to and my name is respected for who I am, so why can’t I finish this.

“Why the doubt? She’s one of the cruelest people you’ve ever met, remember how she sacrificed an innocent city for her mission?” (me?)

“…” (I)

Like every time she appears next to me at the same moment every time, a version of me from when I was a child, her eyes completely golden as she says to finish off my sister.

“She never cared about you, do you think she would spare you if she reversed roles now!?” (me?)

“…” (I)

“You know what you must do, don’t let everyone down again, do it now!!!” (I?)

With these words, I hardened my resolve and cut off the head of my child version with the sword.

“I’m the one who decides.” (I)

—————-

Pov Loki:

I was in a destroyed world as the last survivor, around me the world was still breaking into pieces as the blood of millions of bodies flowed out, my body in pieces only reveals the endless pain as what little life I had slowly disappears, my Divinity fighting together with the world from which I emerged and yet the smile never left my face.

“You can repeat this for eternity, the answer will always be the same.” (I)

“Because if you die, you have the power to run away, your friend has been away from this place for a long time and will die on the way, so why not run away?” (me?)

“This time she will not die, I saved other Gods and Deities who are going with her, unlike me, her Divinity is whole.” (I) ．

“I won’t allow her to mother-in-law like before, her wordplay might be good, but if it were me, I would have already stopped talking just by looking into my eyes.” (I)

“I didn’t expect you to soon face death head on.” (me?)

“Who said I’m going to die, with so much life draining from the world?” (I)

As I spoke, I just destroyed my Divinity using its pieces for a Divine Ritual, sacrificing the world itself to completely restore me to a Demigod.

When I opened my eyes the world was completely destroyed and only I was floating among the stars looking at a version of me from that time with golden eyes.

“If you could do that, then why did you repeat so many times what was the worst moment of your existence?” (me?)

“Because I don’t want to hesitate again in the face of death, existence is a big game, it’s not often that you have the chance to play the same situation over and over again, I had to take advantage.” (I)

“Hahahhahahaha…” (me?)

“Hahahhahahaha…” (I)

—————-

Pov Veronica:

I was sitting at a table drinking a cup of coffee together with an ancient Divine version of me who has golden eyes, the place where we were was a vision of my destroyed world.

“Why didn’t you try any other way?” (me?)

“There was no need, I took the best option at that time.” (I)

“You could have fought on the front lines.” (me?)

“I would die and there would be no one to do what I did.” (I)

“You could have taken Loki with you.” (me?)

“He wasn’t around and looking for him would be a waste of time knowing his answer.” (I)

“You could have done this in countless ways, escape alone, seal your people and take them in an easier way, kill them all and take their Souls to another world before helping them to be reborn, you could even have sacrificed yourself to use all your power on any other plane.” (me?)

“Why not even try something else and continually choose the path that made you suffer the most?” (me?)

“My shield is not to protect me, I know that everything I did saved those people and the World Tree, my suffering is irrelevant in the face of my victory.” (I)

“You call that a victory?” (me?)

“Everyone said that I was just delaying the inevitable, that it was impossible and that nothing would be left of our world… I was the only one who decided to try.” (I)

“Yes, I should have known that you are too stubborn to change a path you have already chosen.” (me?)

“Thanks.” (I)

“That wasn’t a compliment.” (me?)

“It depends on the interpretation of whoever listens.” (I)