Will of chaos

I don’t know when it started, but I was in the orphanage where I grew up in my previous life, and from the point of view it looks like I’m a child again, I even look at my hands which were a little small for a teenager.

It wasn’t hard to realize that I was dreaming of my memories of my old world.

I got up from the bunk bed I shared with another younger child, I slept on the bottom bunk because of my weak body, and because of that I bumped my head on many occasions on the top bunk.

Because of this, as I was getting out of bed I was very careful not to bump my head.

I look into the room where a second bunk bed is next to a table and two closets, other than that there’s only a mirror and the window that faces the street.

I was alone in the room and it was night, but even so, the dim light from the streetlight in front of the building lit up the room a little, so I go to the window where I don’t see anything, it was as if there was only this streetlight outside, everything most seemed immersed in darkness and could not see the moon in the sky, all that was there were stars of different colors shining much brighter than would be possible for anyone who saw it in a city.

I turn around and go to the mirror, the truth is that I had a concern since my first day in this world, something that was not a problem for my daily life, but was always a doubt when remembering the past.

Sigh

“Just as I thought…” (I)

I was in front of the mirror seeing my reflection, or at least that was my intention, but my face was blurred, I couldn’t remember what I looked like at that time, in fact, I can’t even remember my name, that’s since the first day of this world.

“Forget the past, will you?” (I)

I look around, this dark room lit only by the light coming from the window looks like a horror movie set or at least the scene where they find the corpse in a crime movie.

“The younger kids were always scared, I remember when I was younger I would always go to the bathroom turning on all the lights along the way.” (I)

Nowadays I am no longer afraid of the dark, I look in the mirror one last time and see my current appearance, I have already resigned myself to this childish appearance, but I cannot get used to my face, I would like at least some more masculine feature.

I turn and walk to the door, hallways empty as usual, hallway light always flickering, electrical fault that took years to fix, remember I used my first 4 paychecks to fix this exactly.

I go through the other doors, some open and some closed, but the silence continues, the only sound emitting being my footsteps, I go down the stairs where each step creaks as if it were going to break, I remember that year one of the women in the center of Government education has dropped because of these stairs breaking.

I walked down to the entrance, the doors were peeling off, and it was easy to see how this door could come down with just a kick or just a kid hitting his head as he ran looking back, something I saw happen more than once.

This place brings back a lot of memories, but I just noticed that I don’t remember the names of those from the past anymore, I still clearly remember the events and faces, but their names are not so clear to me anymore.

“We will see what hides in the darkness…” (I)

I open the door on the way out, then the door closes behind me, I walk to the gate with just a few steps, the yard where the children play is at the back, at the front, there is just the entrance, and this rusty gate with that damn pole out front.

I pass through the gate breaking the padlock, then I look into the darkness, there is nothing, I can’t see anything, so I look down from the lamppost where the light was stronger, there was a shadow with my outline and red eyes.

“We both know what you’re going to do now.” (I?)

“Standing still hardly solves anything.” (I)

“But why are you here?” (I)

“I’m always here because a certain someone won’t let me disappear.” (I?)

“But it’s good to get a second opinion.” (I)

“Usually having voices in your head is a problem, we both know that.” (I?)

“I stopped using old world logic in this place, that’s what made me go crazy in the first place.” (I)

“Besides, eliminating you would be useless, I will always have a bad side or at least close to it inside me, so why try to get rid of you?” (I)

“Your logic makes no sense, so stop talking to yourself for being alone.” (I?)

“Is that all you brought me here for?” (I?)

“I didn’t bring you here, did I?” (I)

“…” (I?)

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to, but it was kind of weird walking around in that place when it was so empty, normally it was endless noise.” (I)

“Just stick with what you’ve decided, I’ll be waiting to see how long you can stick with your decision.” (I?)

I look at the darkness, it was unnerving in a way since I couldn’t tell if there was something ahead or if there was at least the ground below, but I don’t even hesitate as I take a step forward causing the darkness itself to crystallize under my feet forming a way, so I stop to speak without looking back.

“I will change for sure, we all change with the passage of time, but my decision will always be the same because no matter how much we change on the outside, on the inside we will always be the same.” (I) .

I’m not sure if I said it to him or to myself, after all, he’s a part of me, but after that, I kept walking, I didn’t look back even once, but I could hear more and more footsteps behind me following from close, then I came across a large wall that looked like a crystal wall.

I looked up and couldn’t see an end to it, I looked left and right with the same feeling of seeing a way forward.

“Just create a path.” (I)

With my current strength, breaking large chunks of stone with one punch was nothing, so I kept advancing, interspersing a punch and then two steps.

I don’t know how long I did it, but I didn’t get tired of it, that’s because this wasn’t a real place, I was in some kind of trance because of my evolution, I knew that, but I still had nothing else to do with it anyway.

I kept walking without caring about the time, until I had passed this big crystal mountain, when I looked at my hands they were transformed into their Dragon form, I don’t know how long it was like that, but I didn’t care.

I kept walking and without noticing the darkness was being replaced by stars that lit up one by one with my every step, soon all the darkness had become the starry sky that I was only able to see in the sky earlier.

After looking up I looked at the ground and noticed the blood at my feet, so I kept walking while I felt those behind me move to my sides, but even so, I didn’t look at them, I just continued walking to where a Dragon colossal opened one of his eyes to me making everything disappear.