Chapter 258: The True Mountain Man

Jacob winced as he opened his eyes. It felt like his entire body was hit with a giant metal bat. As his eyes adjusted to what he was staring at, all he could see was the underside of Maria’s chin. Confused, he was about to start moving, but Maria looked back down at him firmly. It appeared his head was laying in Maria’s lap, but she didn’t seem happy at all. He sat up and stared at her, getting lost in her gaze for a brief moment. He tried to speak to explain himself.

"I’m... sorry?"

Maria grabbed hold of his face, her eyes glimmering with an unreadable emotion.

"I love you, Jacob Vice."

Jacob felt extremely confused. The words she was saying did not match her seemingly angry expression at all. Not only that, but they had also just had a fight before he lost consciousness. Not knowing what else to say, Jacob tried to say the only thing on his mind.

"I love you too, Maria Ro-"

Maria covered his mouth for a moment before he could finish speaking.

"Shut the hell up and kiss me you dumbass."

Maria brought his face close hers and kissed him passionately. The pain seemed to subside in his body being in her warm embrace after so long. He was still too disoriented from waking up to try and question why this was happening, but he was happy that it was.

’Did I do something good when I was asleep? That must be a first.’

Maria pulled away from him and pushed him towards Slimo.

"Now eat. We are going to journey to the mountain today."

Jacob rolled until he stopped at Slimo’s feet. He looked up into his face, still reeling from his kiss with Maria. He silently tried asking Slimo with his face ’what the hell just happened?’. However, Slimo simply shook his head and shrugged his shoulders in response as if to say, ’how am I supposed to know?!’

After sitting up, Sarah handed Jacob a fresh slab of meat.

"Here. I don’t know what happened to the other one I gave you but just eat his for now. Slimo also brought everyone to the river for some refreshments. Look at what he made us from those creatures you and Maria killed."

Sarah pulled up a large bottle made of a strange material. It looked like it was made form the carapace of the beetles.

"Eww."

"Not ’eww’. They are helpful. Plus, Slimo washed them before we filled them all. Everyone gets to have their own bottle!"

"How the hell do we carry them?"

"Slimo also made some adjustments to everyone’s armor. All he really did was just attached small hooks around your waist. Speaking of armor, he also managed to make himself a nice pair."

"How the hell was he able to do so much in a short amount of time?!"

"Short amount of time? It took him almost a whole day to do all that stuff!"

"A whole day?! How long have I been out?!"

"Stop freaking out about that! You should be used to this by now! Besides, you were only out a day anyway."

It almost made sense why Maria wanted to kiss him now. She probably thought he managed to defy his destiny and kick the bucket early. Not only that, but there was also almost no telling when or if he would wake up.

"It’s a little hard to not freak out when I lose entire days of my life."

Lidia smacked Jacob over the head.

"Maybe take that as a sign to listen to me from now on?! You hardly have any of your normal skin left! Look at how many scars you have, Jacob!"

Jacob didn’t think to look at his body, even though it was hurting quite badly. He lifted his undershirt, revealing his immaculate physique. Maria blushed and looked away after seeing his chiseled body. However, his torso was severely battered. Lidia was not over exaggerating when she said he hardly had any real skin left. There was a plethora of scars that covered almost every inch of skin. Staring at his wounds own wounds made him sick to his stomach. He pushed his shirt back down and sighed heavily.

"As much as I want to promise you that I’ll be more careful, I know that I won’t fulfill that promise. I’d rather not lie to you if I don’t have to."

Lidia smiled and offered him a hand up.

"I knew you wouldn’t listen to me anyway. I still felt I should try to talk you out, even with the smallest chance that you would change your mind."

Jacob grabbed Lidia’s hand and allowed himself to be lifted to his feet. When his and Lidia’s hand touched one another, he noticed both of their skin seemed a lot more smooth, less dirty, and had a floral scent emanating off of them. Jacob pulled his hand away and sniffed the back of his knuckles.

"Is it just me or were the bugs I killed filled with perfume?"

Lidia laughed harshly.

"Hell no! We all reeked after the long journey over that ice, so Slimo made us have a mandatory wash in the river!"

"Made you? Were you not already planning on it?"

"We had more pressing things to worry about like a boy whose body was almost split in two."

"My bad. Wait, then how the hell did I get cleaned?"

"I don’t know, ask Maria. She was the one who bathed you."

Jacob’s face turned beat red.

’Maria bathed me?! She saw me naked?!’

Lidia slowly snuck over behind him while a million thoughts were racing through his head.

"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?!"

"GAH!! N-NOTHING!!"

"Good, because I lied. Slimo was the one who bathed you, Prince Pervert!"

Lidia burst out laughing and repeatedly slapped Jacob on the back. He felt like dropping to his knees and screaming. Judging by Slimo’s horrified expression, it was clear Lidia was not lying this time. Slimo shook slightly and grabbed on to his arms.

"Easy for you to laugh. You didn’t have to clean... it."

Jacob’s face turned even more red.

’It couldn’t have been that bad, could it?! This is the most embarrassing day of my entire life! Why are they talking like this in front of Maria?! What does she think of all of this?!’

Jacob looked over to where Maria was standing. Her face was completely frozen, as if she was recalling a terrifying memory. Lidia rolled on the ground in tears.

"Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! I almost forgot! Tell him the story haha! Tell him, Sarah! Please! I’m going to pee my pants!"

Sarah hesitated.

"I’m... not really sure Maria wants to recall that right now."

Lidia chuckled a bit more before taking a deep breath. She giggled a few more times before finally continuing to speak.

"Well, you and Slimo were a bit further downstream to give the ladies some privacy. We all finished cleaning much quicker than you and Slimo so I sent Maria after you both to see if anything had happened. Well, Slimo didn’t expect her to be so close and... and..."

Lidia giggled a few more times before bursting out her answer.

"AND IT TOTALLY TOUCHED HER ARM WHEN SLIMO SPUN YOU AROUND TO PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON!!"

Lidia crashed back into the ground howling with more laughter. Jacob dropped to his knees and ran his fingers through his hair.

"WHAT?!"

He looked over at Slimo’s sunken face as he mumbled to himself.

"I’m sorry, Jacob. I failed you. Your dignity is gone and it’s all my fault."

If there was one thing that Jacob was learning from all of this, it was that he was never going to allow himself to black out near a river ever again.

"This can’t seriously be happening. I have to be dreaming!"

Maria finally spoke up above everyone else’s voice.

"Can we just leave now please?!"

Jacob dropped his head and stared at the ground.

’The end of the world is truly cruel and unforgiving. I don’t know if I have the courage to even look her in the eye anymore.’

Jacob never knew a day could start so amazing but crash so bitterly in a matter of minutes.

After more than half an hour of sulking, Jacob and Slimo finally started to follow Lidia, Maria and Sarah towards the giant mountain. Lidia was confidently puffing out her chest as she walked like a soldier.

"What’s the matter with you two?! It’s not like we didn’t know you had a snake, Jacob."

"Can we stop talking about this please!!"

"That... that wasn’t a snake. That was a-"

Sarah jumped back and covered Slimo’s mouth before he could finish his sentence. Jacob gave her an appreciative nod.

"Anyway, this mountain doesn’t seem as far away as I thought. It feels like we’re already almost right in front of it."

Suddenly, Lidia stopped in her tracks and held her hand up. Everyone stopped and went quiet, waiting for her to say something.

"Uh, Slimo? How much do you know about mountains?"

Slimo raised his eyebrow.

"I lived next to one for quite a long time. Why?"

"I see. So, are mountains supposed to have an eye?"

Lidia pointed far in front of them where the large mass laid. There was a massive, round, sleek surface built into its side, and as Jacob got a closer look, he realized Lidia was right. They all walked closer until they were able to see the landscape with a much better view. This mountain they were walking towards turned out to no be a mountain at all.

This was the corpse of a giant human.