Why Did I Become the Villainess?

 I slumped my body on the chair. I feel exhausted. I didn't know I can be traumatized because of a dream.

 I slump my head on the table and groan. Ysavel, get yourself together. How can you let yourself be affected because of it? It is just a dream, and even if that will happen in the future, it is still in the future. I can still do something to prevent that from happening.

 I'm sure that dream is not a scene from the first version because Brother Pascal is there. But if it's not a part of my first version, then why did I dream about it? 

 I groan. I have a lot of problems on my plate right now, and that dream even makes things worst. How can we do our plan if every time I will see Prince Fraser, I will trembles? 

 I close my eyes and remember how his voice broke when he asked me if I hate him. I don't hate him, but my dream makes me scared of him. 

 I heard someone enter the room. I thought it's Rufus again, so I just remain closing my eyes. I'm trying my best to control my emotions and to calm myself down. I need to be with them tonight. 

 Come on, Ysavel! Don't tell me you're scared because of a dream? 

 "I heard what happened from Rufus."

 My eyes immediately widen when I realized who is the one who talks. I am about to look up to Prince Fraser, but he put his hand on my hand. "Don't look at me. I don't want you to be scared again."

 I could feel my heart thumping loudly. Not because I am glad he is with me. But because I am scared of him. Although my mind isn't replaying the dream but I still couldn't help but be scared of him. 

 I feel him sit beside me. He then starts to caress my head. "I heard you had a dream. A very horrible one." He paused for a couple of minutes. 

 I could feel myself starting to calm down because of what he is doing. Although there is still fear in my heart but it's bearable now. Unlike earlier.

 I remain quiet. I don't know what to say, and I don't want to hurt him further. I already hurt him too much. He doesn't deserve that.

 "Csille, I won't ever do that." I heard him whispered to my left ear. I tried to look at him, but he stops me using his hand that is still on my head. "I know I sometimes yell at you. I know I can be rude to you, and I know I might hurt you at times. But believe me, if I say I won't ever do that. I won't ever hurt you or your parents. I won't let that thing happen, Csille. I promise you that."

 I could feel the fear in my heart started to dissipate because of his words. I smile bitterly at myself. He really had a huge effect on me. I don't know what will happen to me if he chooses Princess Paislee over me.

 "Csille, I know you broke up with me already, but my promise to you still remains the same. I won't hate you. I won't ever leave your side. I won't let anything happen to you. They will need to go over me first before they can hurt you." He whispered.

 I silently cry. I should be touch by his words, but how can I? I know he would break his promise in the future. I know he will hate me to the point that he won't like to see me anymore. I know he will leave my side because of her. Because of Princess Paislee. While I will be left at the sideline wishing he would choose me again like he does in the beginning. 

 A sob got out of my mouth. I couldn't help to sob. It hurts. Just thinking about the future pains me. Why did I become the Villainess? Why? 

 "Csille? Are you crying again? Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry. Please stop crying. I don't want to see you cry. It hurts me. Please stop crying." I could feel him panicking.

 "I-I—" I tried to say something, but Prince Fraser cuts me off.

 "Don't talk anymore. I know you don't want to talk to me or to even see me, and I understand that. I just want you to know that no matter what happened, I will always be here for you. But I won't force you. If you don't want to be with me anymore, I respect that. I'll always be waiting. For you, Csille. Like how I promise you. Always." 

 He stops caressing my head. Then I suddenly feel someone kiss me on my head. But it's different than what Rufus did. Rufus just plants a quick kiss on my head, but Prince Fraser kisses my head for a couple of seconds. He then caresses my head again. 

 My eyes immediately widen. All my fears were instantly gone. I even forgot why I act like that earlier. The Prince Fraser beside me is different than the Prince Fraser in my dreams. He might hate me in the future, but I know he won't do something that could harm my parents. It's not in his nature. It's not the Prince Fraser I know.

 "I would die first before I let your dreams come true. I promise I will not let anything happen to you or to the Lauretré family. You have my words Csille, and you know me I never break my promises."

 I take a deep breath. He is the only one who can make me calm down like this. Although I am thankful for Rufus, but Prince Fraser's effect on me is really huge. I smile sadly. I must like him this much. With just a few words from him, all my fears and my worries were gone.

 I tried to look at him, but he won't let me. I want to see him. It's been days since I last saw his face. "Fraser, let my head go."

 "No, I don't want to."

 I frown. "But why?" I want to see you. I badly want to see, Fraser.

 "I'm scared."

 I feel my heart pound loudly. "Scared of what? Why would you be scared?"

 I heard him chuckled. He continues to caress my head gently. "I'm scared that if I see you, I will start to force myself on you again. I'm scared that if I see your beautiful eyes, I'll lose it again. I want to give what you want, Csille. I'm giving you the space you want. Even though it's difficult for me. Even if I don't want to. If this will make you feel happy. That's okay with me. As long as you're satisfied."

 I feel my tears start to stream my eyes. I thought he avoided me because he hates me already. I thought he got tired of me already, but I was wrong. He did all of that because he wants to give me what I want. The space. 

 I feel my hand tremble. I badly want to hug him right now, but if I do that, the distance we created between us will be gone again. And I don't want to waste that. I like him, yes, but I still have the task to do, and I cannot forget about it. 

 "I thought... I thought you hate me. I thought you avoid me because you hate me." I whispered.

 "How can I ever hate you, Csille? Yes, I admit I was hurt because of what you have said to me, but then I realized maybe you're right. I thought maybe we just need time to grow. So, I avoided you. Maybe it's not the right time for us, so I won't force it. If you really want to broke up with me, then I will respect your decision. I won't force myself on you, but please know that no matter what happened, I will always be waiting for you."

 I was touched by his words. How can I not fall for him if he is like this? Although he isn't perfect, but he respects me and is willing to wait. How can I even stop falling for him? How can I prepare myself for the day when he will not choose me anymore?

 I cry silently. I know right from the start that Prince Fraser won't end up with me, but I still end up having feelings for him. I don't know if I should regret that or not. 

 "I hope you feel better now. As much as I don't want to force you to join us tonight, but we need you there, Csille. We need you tonight. So, I hope you will be with us. I know this might be difficult for you because of the dream you had. And what I said is probably not enough to ease your worry, but I hope you can endure being with me tonight. Just for this night, Csille. I promise after this night. I will go back to the way we are before."

 I can feel my heart wrenching in pain because of his words. This is what I want him to do. To avoid me like the plague. But it hurts. I don't want him to avoid me. However, do we have any other choice? We don't, right? I'm sure if Prince Fraser is in my shoes right now, he will do the same thing. To save everyone in this world.

 I heard him stand up. "We will be waiting for you, Csille. But if you really don't want to join us tonight, we will respect your decision."

 I heard him walk away, and then the footsteps suddenly stop. "Csille, I miss you." I heard Prince Fraser said before he walks out of the tea room.

 I look up and stare at the closed door. "Fraser, if you only knew how much I miss you too." I sigh and smile bitterly at myself. "If only I have no other choice. If only I am not transmigrated as the Villainess, maybe we can still work things out. However, that's all wishful thinking. The Virtouse already warned me that the Villainess would remain as the Villainess no matter what I do. That also means we will never end up together."

 I slump my head on the table. "Fraser, when will you start to have feelings for her? I want to know so I can prepare myself for the heartbreak."

 I close my eyes. I tried to remember the dream about my parents' death. The fear and terror were now gone. With just a few words from him, it was gone like that. 

 I stand up and stare at the mirror. I am considered the most beautiful lady among all the Kingdoms, but I cannot have the only person I want. What's the use of this face? 

 I put my hand on the mirror, and I try to compare myself to Princess Paislee. To the strong willed and independent Princess Paislee. How can Csille compete with someone like that? Princess Paislee has more similarities with Prince Fraser than Csille. Sooner or later, Prince Fraser will see that similarities. Sooner or later, he will fall for her without him knowing it.

 By the time the real Csille knows about it, it's already too late for her. Prince Fraser will be smitten with Princess Paislee, and no matter what she does, Prince Fraser will not like her again. It is already late to save her engagement with Prince Fraser.

 "I understand why you will do those things. You were hurt. You were betrayed by the person who you expected to spend your whole life with. But Csille, your revenge wouldn't help. It will just make things worst. If only I can talk to you." I sigh. 

 I understand why Csille decided to betray the Crown Prince and the Vrawyth Kingdom. However, it doesn't mean that I am on her side. I just wish in the future Csille she could avoid hurting her parents, Prince Fraser, and the Vrawyth Kingdom.