Chapter 216 - 180: When It’s Warm and Yet Still Cold + Crying Endlessly + Learning to Reconcile with the World

Ni Bingyan was already in character, her mind filled with these memories, as if she herself had grown from that little girl.

"Let go!"

She snapped, her face cold.

"We won’t!"

"Where are you going?"

She didn’t speak, wrenching her hands free from theirs and desperately heading for the exit.

She was no longer the weak child she once was, and her parents were not as strong as they used to be. For them to try and restrain her when she was in a frenzy was pure fantasy!

Han’s father rushed forward, raising a hand to slap her, but Han’s mother immediately grabbed his arm. They were old now and couldn’t have any more children. This was the only child they had left, and they still had to rely on her to take care of them in their old age!

"We just buried your brother this afternoon, and tonight we don’t even know where we’re going to stay. Your father and I can manage, we can handle it, but your grandparents..."

Han Su ignored her and ran off.

"Good!"

They started shooting this scene after dinner, and it took five takes before they finally got it right.

After wrapping up for the day, she changed her clothes and removed her makeup. A glance at the time showed it was already ten o’clock.

The parking lot was a bit of a walk, and Ni Bingyan had to pee, so she made a trip to the restroom.

The funeral home was silent at night. The mourners over in the memorial hall had probably cried themselves out and were all resting now.

Figuring that even the most obsessive fan wouldn’t follow her into a funeral home restroom, Duanmu Li waited for her just outside the door.

They were sleeping in the RV tonight, so there was no rush to leave. Wang Biao had to go to a hotel and had already left with some other staff members.

Coming out of the stall, Ni Bingyan washed her hands at the mirror. As she did, tears began to well up in her eyes.

’They say there’s no such thing as a bad parent, but why? Why are children born to the same mother and father treated so completely differently just because of their gender?’

’As the one who was despised, how could she not feel resentment? How could she not feel hatred?’

’She was a perfectly good girl. Back then, she could have gotten into a much better university and a better major after the college entrance exams. But forced by her circumstances and desperate to escape that family, she chose a vocational college and studied mortuary science and cosmetology.’

’During her internship, the first time she saw a corpse, she had nightmares for days on end.’

’A boy who liked her, upon hearing about her profession, silently withdrew his outstretched hand and never contacted her again.’

’Once, after finishing a night shift, she was so exhausted that she absentmindedly told someone "see you later," and nearly got her nose broken for it...’

’What’s so much better about a son than a daughter, anyway?’

’Is it just because they can carry on the family line?’

’If she wanted to be vicious about it, a son’s son isn’t necessarily his son, but a daughter’s son is definitely her son. When it comes to so-called bloodline succession, why can’t a daughter do it?’

’It’s not like you have to get married to have kids?!’

She thought defiantly, staring at her reflection in the mirror.

She knew she was too deep in character and wouldn’t be able to adjust her emotions anytime soon, so she bent over and splashed water on her face.

They hadn’t finished filming her scenes for the week, and maintaining this emotional state was beneficial for the shoot, so she wasn’t in a hurry to pull herself out of it.

It was June, so the cold water on her face wasn’t too icy. She wanted to make herself stop crying quickly, to rein in her emotions just a little.

She straightened up, and just as she was about to wipe her face, she saw a girl standing beside her.

Caught completely off guard, Ni Bingyan jumped!

Before she could cry out, she heard the girl ask her, "Why are you crying?"

Ni Bingyan didn’t answer. She wiped her face while sizing up the girl.

The girl was wearing a white lab coat and had a calm expression. She wore no jewelry, only a silver-colored watch.

Ni Bingyan knew she was the funeral home’s forensic pathologist.

The screenwriter had revised the script last week, and because there were some technical details they didn’t understand, the production had hired this professional as a consultant. Ni Bingyan had only seen her once from a distance.

"Are you under a lot of psychological stress from filming this movie?"

Sensing her good intentions, Ni Bingyan no longer remained silent and gave a slight nod.

For someone like her, who had been strong-willed her whole life and would even hide when she cried, admitting her weakness to a stranger was not an easy thing to do.

"Do you want me to recommend a psychologist to you? You might need some counseling."

’People in this line of work can relieve stress by encouraging each other. After working for a long time, you can go numb or just get used to it. But she’s just an actress. It would be better for her to see a psychologist.’

’Reconciling with the world is not such an easy thing.’

"No, that’s alright. Thank you."

In fact, she had already started seeing a psychologist last week.

The psychologist was an expert that Wei Shuojie had found for her through his connections. They were very capable, so she didn’t need to switch.

Seeing that her attitude wasn’t particularly warm, the woman turned to leave.

But when she reached the restroom doorway, she couldn’t help but turn back.

"Actually, I’m a fan of yours. Your values really resonate with me. I hope you continue to keep a clear head and move forward with determination. I don’t want you to be left with any psychological scars because of this role."

Ni Bingyan felt a little helpless but sighed and told her, "Thank you for your concern. I already have a psychologist. If I ever need help, I’ll be sure to ask you."

The corner of the woman’s mouth quirked up slightly. She shoved her hands in her pockets and turned to walk away.

’She’s so unbelievably cool!’

Having seen so much scheming since she was a child, Ni Bingyan especially cherished people who were genuinely kind to her. Seeing the woman about to leave, she couldn’t help but call out, "Excuse me, what’s your name?"

The woman waved a hand without turning back. "You can call me Kata."

’Ni Bingyan was still pondering. She had only ever heard of hairdressers liking to use English names. Is it a trend in the world of forensic pathology now too?’

The forensic pathologist had already disappeared into the night.