3-41: Another World

I fell. It was the only way I could describe it. I fell and I panicked.

It was so weird. Like one minute I’m floating there and I feel like I’m back. I’m watching Natalie being so sexy doing her villain thing, and then next thing I know that Lana bitch is tackling me and sending me through one of those weird portal things.

God, Natalie. I hoped she’s okay. It was unfair for someone to look that good while being so bad. If she ever had any idea how hot it got me when she did that stuff…

Ugh. Even watching her climbing out of the ass end of a lizard had been pretty awesome. Like I’m not talking I wanted to go up and plant a smooch on her or anything while she was dripping with radioactive lizard shit, but it still looked pretty damn cool.

A bright light hit me. I found myself falling for real. I was over some weird alien world that looked like a flight I’d taken out to Vegas a couple of years ago with some friends, only everything was pinkish-purple instead of shades of orange and brown.

Don’t ever go to Vegas when you’re under twenty-one, by the way. It turns out just about everything out there that’s worth doing totally involves drinking or gambling.

I ended up being the designated bore because I couldn’t drink. Not that I could ever really get drunk when I was drinking, but…

I flipped around and forgot about Vegas.

Oh, right. The ground was coming up to meet me and I totally didn’t have my powers. That wasn’t good.

It didn’t help that there was suddenly this big explosion going off behind me. I figured it had to have something to do with that portal thing.

I frowned. Natalie would be disappointed in me. She’d done such a good job of training me, and I’d let her down in the end.

I shivered. The ground was coming up to meet me awfully fast, and I didn’t think it was going to be friendly. Like it was really rushing up and…

I blinked a couple of times, then stood up and brushed myself off. How did I get on the ground? I looked at the sand all around me. It was in a big crater and I was in the middle of it.

Even weirder? The dust on this planet seemed to crackle and glow when I brushed it off.

Shit. Hadn’t Natalie said something about the radiation in this place being way worse than what it was back on earth? I mean that’s assuming I was in the place where those giant lizards were being sent so they could grow to giant size and…

Something rumbled in front of me. Something big. I looked in the direction of the noise, but the only thing I saw was a big hill, so that didn’t seem like it was such a big deal.

I turned back and kept trying to brush myself off. It was too bad that Lana bitch had done something to my suit. I could’ve used some of Natalie’s toys to save my ass right about now.

She always had the best toys, and it was so nice of her to share them with me.

Then again, if I’d survived that fall maybe I didn’t need her toys. I had been floating in that room before I got tossed through the portal, after all. I’d been able to give as good as I was getting with that Lana bitch, for that matter.

I’d thought I was imagining things. That maybe Lana had killed me, and that was my hallucination as I bled out internally or something. Only I still felt alive.

Weird, but alive.

I looked out over the alien landscape. The sky was a strange purplish pink color. Like the color of a really fucked up sunset, but when I looked up I could see the suns high overhead beating down on me.

Huh. Three suns. That wasn’t something you saw every day. And it looked like there was maybe a fourth one off in the distance, but maybe that was a bright planet or something?

I smiled. Natalie would be so proud of me recognizing that could be a planet that was really close and not a star that was farther away. Still, the whole sky in this place seemed to be filled with bright points of light. Like there were a few stars that were really close instead of a lot of stars that were really far away like back home.

All that light did weird things. Like that hill behind me seemed like it moved and cast a few different shadows.

Shit. That hill behind me had moved. Hills weren’t supposed to move. When something as big as a small mountain moved back on earth it usually meant something bad was going down.

I couldn’t imagine it was much different here.

I turned around, and I almost didn’t want to look at what was coming at me. I was almost afraid of what I was going to see.

A giant lizard stared down at me. Yup. I definitely needed to be afraid.

The thing’s skin was twisted and torn. Like the radiation on this world had really done a number on it. And the thing was staring down at me like it blamed me personally for everything bad that’d happened to it.

That Lana bitch was the gift that kept on giving.

Not that I could blame the thing. I’m sure in its lizard brain one toolmaking hairless monkey looked the same as another, and from the way the thing glared at me it was in the mood for some revenge.

I took a step back, but I knew it wasn’t going to do me a damn bit of good. I took another step back anyway. And another.

It was by the third step that I realized there was no ground under me. My arms cartwheeled a couple of times and I barely managed to catch myself at the last moment.

That’s when I heard it.

Actually, I heard a lot of things. I heard the giant lizard in front of me breathing. It was a deep bass sound that rattled my insides. Something that big standing so close couldn’t help but rattle my insides just a little.

That wasn’t what I heard though. No, I heard what sounded like screaming. Even though there was certain death staring down at me I couldn’t help but turn around and have a look.

I gasped.

Not only did this strange new world support life even though Natalie said it was irradiated, but it looked like the place was supporting a full on civilization. I stared down at a massive city that looked every bit as big as Starlight City back on earth. I’d missed it before because I was too busy falling to get a good look at my surroundings, and then I couldn’t see out of my crater.

The resemblance to earth and Starlight City wasn’t just in passing either. No, there was at least one giant lizard down there terrorizing the city. Every once in awhile a strange pinkish flame would shoot up from one of the buildings where presumably one of those lizards was marching through the city raising hell.

Huh. I guess those things were as much of a nuisance here as they were back home. I wondered if Dr. Lana knew or cared that this world was inhabited when she started introducing new fauna to the place, which seemed like a major no-no.

I mean if Australia was almost overrun by giant toads then it seemed like introducing even more giant lizards to a new planet would be an even worse idea.

Whatever was going on down there, it was clear these aliens inhabiting this strange new world weren’t having a good time of it. They looked to be enjoying their giant lizard attack about as much as Starlight City had been enjoying it.

I looked down at that city. I looked to my feet that were hovering over the sand. Then I turned and looked up at the giant lizard staring down at me with what I could only describe as a “baleful glare.” That was a term I picked up from one of my literature classes that I’d always liked, and I always tried to use it in conversation even though it got me some weird looks at parties.

The thing raised its hand, and in that moment I knew I wasn’t going to live long enough for the radiation Natalie was talking about to kill me. No, it looked like that radiation made flesh was going to take a much more direct shot at me in the here and now.

Damn it. Welcome to the galaxy, Selena. Now it’s time to die.