Villain Retirement

Chapter 109: Road Trip

“Why… why did my motorcycle turn into this!? I should be riding a bike right now… feeling the wind threatening to rip off my body!”

“Stop, you’ve been whining ever since we left the Academy.”

“Of course! I’m supposed to be going broom-broom right now!”

Gary’s somewhat exasperated screams seeped through the small openings of the window, almost drifting through the skies as they were blown away by the truck he was riding in.

A week ago, when the instructors announced that they would be handling their own districts all over the country, Gary and the others’ districts were surprised to find out that they were all tasked to observe and watch the same area– even though the picking was supposed to be random.

Hannah was the one driving the 6-wheeler electric truck, which had a lot of space for people to sit comfortably in. Tomoe was riding shotgun, while Gary, Silvie, and Riley were riding on the back.

At first, they all thought that the Academy would take them to their district, but their task started right outside the Academy’s gates– they were left to get to their district by their own devices.

Sadly for Gary, he and Riley were already inside a motorcycle shop and were about to sign their papers and pay, when Hannah and Tomoe suddenly arrived and pulled them away.

And so, instead of signing for a motorcycle… Riley bought a truck for their group instead– which Hannah even painted over with graffiti– ‘The Baby Crew’.

“And why does the truck have to be so lame!?” Gary then once again bellowed in pain as he almost let himself slide under the seat. Gary was expecting something tactical, like a truck covered in matte-black paint.

The truck did have a matte finish, and some parts of it are black… but most of its surface was in a shade of pink.

“And what’s with that Baby Crew tag!?” Gary added, “Who chose that name for our group!?”

“I did. You got a problem with that?” Hannah smirked as she glanced at Gary.

“I do! It’s lame!” Gary actually already knew who it was that painted over their truck– as who else would put the word ‘Baby’ on the team name if not for Hannah, aka, Baby Nuclear.

“I’m the driver, I get to decide everything!” Hannah then let out a small condescending chuckle, “If any of you knew how to drive, then by all means, do so.”

And as soon as Hannah’s words traveled inside the truck, Gary, Hannah, and Tomoe could only look to the side.

“But Riley was the one who bought this, though!” But after a few more seconds, Gary once again rebuked Hannah’s words.

“And I am his big sister,” Hannah quickly replied, “Whatever belongs to him, belongs to me.”

“W… what? That can’t be right!”

“My sister has a point, Gary.”

“What do you mean she has a point!?” Gary then slightly leaned towards the front seats, “You… have you indoctrinated our innocent Riley!?”

“Don’t suddenly creep up like that when I’m driving!” Hannah then quickly pushed his face away, the truck slightly swaying as she did so.

“Then at least let us choose the music!” Gary once again let out his frustration, “This metal screaming shit has been playing for hours!”

“Pft, I’m the driver, so n–“

And before she could even finish her words, Tomoe suddenly tapped the truck’s touch-screen head unit– quickly replacing the music being played.

“W… why’d you do that!?”

“As the shotgun, I believe I have the right to contest your music, big sister.”

“That’s not how it–“

“I believe you’ll like this music– It’s from a Japanese band called Infant Metal.”

“This…” Hannah listened to the song for a while, and although it was much tamer than what she usually listens to– “It’s… not that bad, I guess,” Hannah said as she nodded her head along with the music.

“Ack! I don’t know anymore,” Gary had no choice but just to lean back on his seat as another metal song was played, “At least it’s better than Hannah Papaya’s music.”

“What did you say!?”

“Pft.”

“W… You too, Silv!?” Hannah could not help but slightly stutter as Silvie almost snorted from trying to stop the laughter that has been trying to escape her mouth for a while now.

“I… don’t like heavy metal that much, sorry,” Silvie giggled, “It sort of hurts my ears, but at least the one playing now is cute.”

The group continued to bicker with each other, their laughs and whispers traveling inside the spacious cab. Gary wanted to rest on the large trailer earlier, but Riley told them that it was filled with boxes.

As for what’s really inside, only Riley knows.

“What about you, bro?” Hannah then glanced at Riley, “You like my music, right?”

“Hm…”

As soon as the others heard Hannah’s words, their eyes all turned to look at Riley. One way or another, one could guess what music each of them liked to some extent. But for Riley…

…One could not help but wonder what music he listens to.

“It’s alright, sister.”

“!!!”

“You see that!?” Hannah patten the steering wheel a couple of times as she let out a small cheer of victory.

“You like metal!?”

“To some extent, Gary,” Riley sighed, “But their screams sound a little fake. I prefer the real ones.”

“…What do you mean real–“

And before Gary could finish his words, he could not help but cover his ears as the volume of the music suddenly rose.

“I apologize,” Tomoe then said as she lowered the volume, “I must have pressed it accidentally.”

“Ack, my eardrums almost gave up!”

And so, their talks continued on like this for hours. Hannah has been driving for almost 9 hours now, but they weren’t even halfway through their district– Miami, Florida.

They left the Academy in the afternoon since they needed some stuff to prepare, and so now, the roads were getting darker.

“Gaah, I’m beat. For real, no one knows how to drive amongst you people!?”

With the sun going down, the group decided to take a little rest and park on the side of the road– and since there seemed to be no one else taking their path…

…it almost felt like they have the world for themselves.

“I could just lift us and the truck to Miami, sister,” Riley then muttered as the others started stretching their limbs. However, as soon as they heard Riley’s words, Hannah, Gary, and Silvie all looked at him in unison.

“No!” They all shouted.

“This is a road trip, Riley,” Hannah then sighed.

“The sights, brother, the sights!” Gary stretched his arms towards the slightly reddish horizon, the trees casting their shadows as the sun slowly waved them goodbye.

“Hm,” Silvie nodded a couple of times. She had never experienced going on joy rides with friends… with anyone before. So all of this was a pleasant, and not to mention a new experience for her.

Even Tomoe, who would usually agree with Riley without a second thought, slightly let out a small breath.

“Teen Spirit, feel the adventure flowing through your veins!” Hannah breathed out as she lightly hit Riley on the shoulder.

“You are turning 20 in a couple of months, sister. You’re not a teenager.”

“…Fuck you,” Hannah then once again breathed out as she shook her head, “Anyway, has that thing been following us since earlier?”

“Yeah,” Gary was the one to answer as he looked at the drone that was hovering above them, “Although I think it’s just starting to record now, since there wasn’t that red light blinking earlier.”

“Fuck the government,” Hannah then raised both her middle fingers towards the drone.

“We… we’re being recorded, Hannah!” Silvie quickly covered Hannah’s fingers.

“Good,” Hannah scoffed, “Anyway…

…Did anyone bring anything to eat?”

“…”

“…”

“…”

The group could only look at each other for a full minute, with Gary’s stomach even rumbling a little from the realization that they might not be able to eat tonight. They were wearing their costumes, but none of them brought food!?

“S… seriously? How are we–“

“I brought us food, sister.”

Everyone’s eyes then all turned towards Riley as if he was some sort of angel brought forth by the heavens.

“For real!?” Gary then excitedly moved as he made his way to the back of the trailer, “The key, where is the key!?”

And as he said that, a key slowly floated towards him. And as soon as he was able to open the cargo.

“What… is this?” He then whispered, his disappointment almost reaching its limit as the trailer was filled with nothing but metal boxes all neatly arranged to the side, “There’s no–“

And before he could even say a complaint, a metal box suddenly shot out from the trailer, almost threatening to slam into him before it gently landed on the side of the road.

“…” Riley then walked to the box, pressing a button on it. And as soon as he did so, the box started to disassemble itself– revealing a table and chair already organized for them to eat at.

“W… what the–” And once again, before Gary could even say anything, another metal box floated from the trailer– opening up to reveal… a portable kitchen. And soon, several ingredients also started to float out from the trailer’s refrigerator.

And finally, an apron that wrapped around Riley’s body.

“Wait…” Gary then blinked a couple of times as he finally realized what was going on, “Don’t tell me. Are you–“

“Yes, Gary,” Riley then muttered as he tied the apron, 

“I will be cooking for all of you.”