Villain Cultivator

Chapter 542 – Stupid Mermaid and Farm Upgrades

"Haiz."

Unfortunately, Xie Tian was not omnipotent. He didn't know anything about sages since he never reached that level. Today, it was his first time meeting a real sage as well.

Since no one had any clue about the sages, Miaomiao put this matter to the back of his head and continued on his journey home.

He was also worried about his wives. He wondered if Lilim and Lilith would spare them after this.

'Lilim, I'm praying that you won't cross the line. Otherwise, I'll fucking Yun-Che the entire Netherworld Realm!'

…

The journey over the blood sea was quite peaceful even though it was rumored to be a dangerous place. No sea beast came out to attack Miaomiao.

Some of the beasts loitered on the sea surface, but they were scared of Miaomiao's ominous aura of negative karma. They hid in the sea and never bothered him.

At long last, Miaomiao got home. However, the city was quite lonely without people.

Merchants, commoners, beastmen, and cultivators were gone. No human or mortal remained near the Siren City even though it was rich with resources. 

Currently, the city became deserted as Lilith took everybody to the Netherworld Realm.

Since Miaomiao couldn't find anybody, he thought of a certain sewer mermaid, whose potential was good enough for her to be picked as a protagonist hunter. He got to the sewer system underground and began searching for the elusive mermaid with a moon goddess name.

Strangely, even Miaomiao's Qi sense couldn't detect her.

"CHANG'E, ARE YOU THERE?!"

Having no choice, Miaomiao called her.

"Stupid mermaid, if you don't come out, I'll start dumping river water from Red Sun City here! You don't want to mutate into a chicken mermaid, do you?!"

"Don't use that chicken water! I'll come out!"

The trick worked. Chang'e slowly emerged from the dark sewer water.

Miaomiao frowned as he couldn't understand her taste. She kept staying in the muddy water instead of living in the spring water like the other mermaids.

"What are you doing down there? Is that muddy water that good for you?"

Chang'e tilted her head and stared at Miaomiao in bemusement, "Who are you?"

"I'm your fucking boss, Cat Meowmeow!"

"Huh?"

Chang'e transformed into a human and walked on the water. She inspected Miaomiao's pretty face and his feminine stature.

Currently, Miaomiao's height was shorter than before because of the purple demon physique. He also looked like a cross-dressing girl who wore men's clothes.

Chang'e smirked, "Nah, you're lying. My boss is a lot more handsome than you. He's also weaker, stupider, and smellier than you. Everywhere he goes, his cum-like odor follows after him. He's a semen slime, but you're quite fragrant for a monster."

"…"

Miaomiao frowned and sniffed both his armpits by reflex. Two seconds later, he smacked his forehead and pinched the mermaid's ear.

"OW OW OW! Don't pull my ear!"

"I'll teach you a lesson why you shouldn't call me a semen slime! I'll fucking turn you into a public semen toilet for all slimes in the city!"

"OW OW OW! That was a joke! Don't make a toilet!"

Miaomiao let go of Chang'e. He zipped his pants and transformed his penetrator into multiple tentacles. Then, he used them to wrap around the mermaid's legs and dragged her to the surface.

"NOOOOOO! I'll be violated by a monster! HELP ME, LORD MAO!!"

"I'm Mao Miaomiao, you fool!"

…

In the end, Miaomiao dragged Chang'e to his mansion and gave her a thorough bath. She kept resisting and squirming like a stray cat in a bathtub for the first time, but Miaomiao's tentacles pinned her until she was squeaky clean.

In the aftermath, Chang'e cried in a bathroom corner while she held a white towel to cover his front.

"I can't be a bride anymore."

"Stop being obnoxious. I didn't even touch your pussy!" Miaomiao scoffed while he cleaned the grime in the bathroom.

She was so dirty that Miaomiao and to clean the mud on the floor. He even saw a walking mushroom and a living mud for a moment before they were killed by Miaomiao's special anti-bacteria bathroom detergent... made from his tentacle's silver mucus.

Of course, they smelled like semen as Chang'e had said.

"*Sniff* I'm smelling like Mao Miaomiao. I'm no longer a virgin maiden!"

Miaomiao dropped the mop and bucket in his hands. He stomped toward Chang'e and transformed into a handsome human cultivator, aka his original form.

"See? I.AM.MAO.MIAOMIAO!"

"…"

Chang'e widened her eyes and blankly stared at Miaomiao's crotch area.

Because of the previous bath time, Miaomiao was also naked. His dangling soft metapod was so close to her face.

The mermaid instinctively reached out her webbed hands and patted his butt cheeks twice before she looked at the metapod and measured its size with her hands. 

"Oh, it's really you."

"You recognize my dick, but not my aura?"

"I saw you having sex with your wives so many times. Obviously, I can remember it!"

"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU SEE IT THEN?!"

"Obviously, I peeped!"

This silly mermaid puffed her chest as if she was proud of it.

Miaomiao facepalmed. He felt like karma was playing a prank on him because he always messed around with his wives like this before.

"And you said you're a virgin maiden…"

"I'm a virgin maiden, heart, body, and soul! Perversion never enters my mind!"

"But you peeped…"

"That was called an education! An honest mermaid has to keep herself educated in worldly affairs!"

Chang'e stood up, puffed her chest, and bent her back to raise her chin high. The tip of her nose seemed to be longer than the usual as well.

She didn't even realize that her towel was now on the ground, revealing everything.

Fortunately, Miaomiao wasn't as perverted as before. He only glanced at her white mountains and scoffed as he had seen bigger and cuter versions.

Since a normal conversation with this retard mermaid was impossible, Miaomiao had to reduce his IQ to the mermaid's level.

"Has anybody contacted you or has something weird happened recently? For example, a blue plate with words suddenly appears right in front of you, and you can't shake it away."

Chang'e looked surprised. She covered her mouth.

"How did you know?! Are you a prophet or a fortuneteller?"

Miaomiao slightly nodded and smugly grinned, "Yeah, I can see the past, present, and future. I'm somewhat of a prophet myself. Well, did you get that blue screen, blue plate, or a [System]?"

"No."

"…"

"…"

Both of them awkwardly stared at each other.

Chang'e cheerfully giggled as if she had successfully humiliated Miaomiao. Meanwhile, Miaomiao's smiling face reddened, and blood vessels under his facial skin were bulging.

Without saying anything, Miaomiao gently wrapped his right arm over her neck while his other hand grabbed her waist.

He lifted her body vertically while his arm locked her neck…

And gave her a Jackhammer Powerslam!

Instant K.O.!

Similar to how Miaomiao dealt with Diaochan, Miaomiao dragged the unconscious mermaid into his bedroom.

…

A day later, Chang'e was out cold. She reverted back to her mermaid appearance, but white juice continued to leak out of a certain hole between her fishtail and her lower belly area.

Miaomiao also reverted back to his purple demon form. He rolled up a joint and lit it, smoking after sex.

It had been a while since Miaomiao last smoked. It felt odd to smoke as a cultivator since it generated impurity to his lungs and circulation system.

Fortunately, the impurity was like a high-class food for the parasites in his body. The karma centipedes innocently ate the impurity, mistaking it as a type of unique Qi.

They cleaned the impurity for him, but they ended up being digested by Miaomiao's negative karma strings, feeding Miaomiao energy.

While smoking, Miaomiao slapped the fishtail butt. It was slimy, slippery, and oily, which satisfied his naughty desire somewhat.

"Now, you can say that you can no longer become a bride, foolish fish. You're now my bitch! Oh, wait. That rhymes."

Chang'e didn't moan, sob, or say anything. She was unconscious and couldn't hear what he said.

Still, the conversion was completed. She was now his new yin slave, and Miaomiao could bring her soul to the dantian world.

Unfortunately, this method had flaws. He could only take her soul, but her real body would still be here in the real world.

He needed to make a familiar pact with Chang'e to bring her real body to the dantian space.

Thinking this far, Miaomiao remembered something. It related to the conditions of unlockable perks that he once forgot.

Although these abilities came from Devil, Miaomiao wanted to keep them for now. It wouldn't temporarily keep this power until he could get a better replacement.

…

Farm Cultivation Mode

This system mode was derived from the notorious skill of the Ancient Tyrant Overlord Farmer, who traveled across the multiverse and captured many planets with his farming and sub-dimensional ability, enforcing his belief and principle to the local population - Many perished while many flourished. However, some of his wives were abandoned as this overlord was forgetful. 

As you have picked THE DEVIL as your sponsor when you first arrived at this world, THE DEVIL hid this ability inside you, waiting for a day that you could grow strong enough to cope with this law-twisting feature. 

As your Isolation Training Space grows and gathers enough Life Essence and Elemental Qi, you can start growing spiritual plants and trees in this realm. Everything that you grow here can be taken out to the real world as they are created from your Life Essence and Elemental Qi.

Perks

- You can bring harvested crops, fruits, herbs, or products from Farm Cultivation Mode to the real world.

- You can buy spiritual seeds from the system shop.

- You can create farmlands and grow crops, plants, or trees in Isolation Training Space.

- ??? [Locked] Require Completed Heavenly Fate Core to unlock.

- ??? [Locked] Require Poison and Blood Element Continent to unlock.

- ??? [Locked] Require All Pieces of Time and Space Murals to unlock.

- ??? [Locked] Require Completed Asmodeus Bloodline to unlock.

…

Quarry and Mining Mode 

This system mode was born from your Metal Dragon Bloodline, Wood Dragon Bloodline, Nero's Will, and Cernun's Will. The Dragon Wood and Dragon Metal Qi have created various natural resources in your Isolation Dantian Space, such as rare minerals, spirit stones, and spirit trees.

The resources will be continuously generated as your Dragon Metal Qi, and Dragon Wood Qi continue to increase. However, it would have been a waste to ignore these precious resources when you can bring them out to the real world!

Perks

- You can bring minerals, spirit stones, gemstones, or materials from Isolation Training Space to the real world.

- You can construct quarries and mines to collect ores or precious material in Isolation Training Space.

- You can hire system clones to work as miners.

- ??? [Locked] Require Completed Heavenly Fate Core to unlock.

- ??? [Locked] Require Gold and Earth Continent to unlock.

- ??? [Locked] Require Constallion Physique to unlock.

- ??? [Locked] Require Dao Providence and at least one billion followers to unlock.

…

Miaomiao had completed the Heavenly Fate Core long ago, but he hadn't manually unlocked the new perks. Moreover, he had completed the time-and-space murals, and the farmland's new perk was now unlockable.

As Miaomiao had seen what the second Alter had done, he knew what the new perks were.

Ding

<You have completed a Heavenly Fate Core.>

<You have unlocked a new perk.>

<You can upgrade the quarries to produce specific rare minerals that you have in the real world.>

"Alright. I should be looking for rare material now."

Miaomiao already used that ability when Meowmeow became his familiar. Mu-Nyang added a Catnipium Mine to his system, and Meowmeow was in charge of mining it.

But now, Miaomiao needed to procure a sample of new ore to the system first. Then, he could mass-produce them.

Miaomiao upgraded the farming mode next.

Similar to the Quarry and Mining Mode, Dion gave the same message.

Ding

<You have completed a Heavenly Fate Core.>

<You have unlocked a new perk.>

<You can upgrade the farms to produce specific rare herbs that you have in the real world.>

Miaomiao didn't care about this perk since he had plenty of rare herbs. However, if he were to get his hands on divine herbs from the upper realms, this ability would come in handy.

But the next perk was the cream of the crop. It was something that Second Alter had, and Miaomiao had always wanted it.

He finally had this ability, which would break the balance of the mortal world.

Miaomiao would now be a completed Farm Protagonist with this ability as long as the sages or Devil never sealed his power.

Ding

<You have completed All Pieces of Time and Space Murals.>

<You have unlocked a new perk.>

<You can transfer living beings, materials, sentient beings, and living weapons from the real world to the dantian space and vice versa.>

Now, Miaomiao could say, he BROUGHT A FARM TO LIVE IN ANOTHER WORLD.

'If I ever write my life into a novel, I wonder if I can write as many chapters as THAT NOVEL… How many chapters have that insane author published by now? 11,600ish?'