Chapter 145 Dark Thoughts
The four of them stood behind Erin with slightly shocked looks and they watched silently as Erin told Natasha and Haruto that she felt pity on them and that they were free to go.
Out of everyone, nobody expected Erin to be the first one to feel pity and let these bastards go after everything that they had done. Mako had a completely different train of thought as he was actually going to impose the opposite of what Erin did.
The reason why Mako stopped both the fights and shared with everyone the cruel punishments of El Diablo that everyone feared was that he actually wanted to eliminate those two quickly so that they won’t be in critical condition and could be sent home faster rather than spending time in the hospital recovering.
Mako had been beaten and bullied by others his entire life and he had been put in a critical state a couple of times and so he knew that recovering from one wasn’t as simple as just popping a few healing pills. Complete recovery varied from person to person and it all depended on strong their wills were.
Scientists and doctors didn’t really have an explanation for this, but humans who had awakened their abilities and could manipulate mana had more control over their bodies than regular humans. This was generally a good thing but this control could also backfire as they could subconsciously halt their own healing by basically ordering their body to not heal.
The stronger and high level a person is the more control they have over their body and if such a person doesn’t have the will to continue moving forward and fighting, they enter into a state called by the doctors as the “Kripke Syndrome”.
It was named after the very first person who was reported to have gone into such a state after an intense battle during the last war. It was rumored that Lieutenant Kripke faced an unknown fearsome enemy that tortured him many times until he would give him some classified information, but no matter how many times he was tortured he didn’t reveal anything to the enemy.
Even though he fulfilled his duty as a soldier and prevented the enemy from getting an advantage, the enemy was successful in completely breaking the Lieutenant’s spirit as by the time he recovered, he couldn’t bring his body to heal again and fight once more.
Even though it was an extreme example, there were many cases reported afterward and many of them weren’t as intense as what happened with Lieutenant Kripke but the end result was exactly the same. Mako knew this because another boy from his middle school had been scummed to the same fate as he couldn’t take it anymore with the beatings and the bullying.
Mako was lucky to have his grandmother at this time as she was the only reason that he even survived middle school and was able to enroll in a prestigious high school.
Mako didn’t want his friends to put Haruto and Natasha in such a state that would completely break them and since they knew that more torture and pain awaited them once they recovered and returned home, they could potentially fall victim to the Kripke syndrome as well.
Instead, Mako wanted them to be able to return home in a stable mental state so that he could have the person who wanted to end him be the one to enact his revenge and do it better than he could ever do himself.
Yes! That was why Mako had done all of this! He didn’t want his friends to feel pity, he was trying to open their eyes to a more dark and painful fate for Natasha and Haruto but to his absolute surprise, the opposite had happened.
“HOOO!” Mako breathed heavily as he broke free from his thoughts and came back to reality.
‘What am I thinking?! Is this really what I have become? A sadist who enjoys other people’s pain and suffering! NO! I wanted to become the exact opposite of this, that was the whole reason I began fighting and became strong!’ Mako said to himself in his thoughts.
He looked down at his hands which were trembling. He was shaking with excitement a moment ago before Erin intervened and told the two to just get lost.
‘What is this feeling? This feeling… coming from deep inside me…? Is it anger?!’ Mako said as he tried to control his shaking hands.
He looked over at Erin again and that was when the feelings got intensified.
‘Am I angry at her?! …Am I angry that she let those two go? That’s insane! Could I really be having such feelings inside of me?!’ Mako shouted as he tried to contain himself.
From the outside nothing looked out of place as the five of them stood still and watched as Haruto and Natasha quickly dashed away from the base of the mountain at top speed.
However, Mako who was in the very back was sweating profusely as he was not just watching those two run away, he watching his chance for revenge for all his and his friends’ pain and suffering run away as well.
Since the beginning, every bit of misfortune that had occurred to Mako and his friends was because of the interference caused by Mikhail, Natasha, and Haruto.
They could have had a good starting position if Mako didn’t have a fear-induced panic attack and jumped from the plane in the last possible second which made it so that they landed on the corner of the map, miles away from where they intended.
If they hadn’t landed on the beach they wouldn’t have countered the Sabertooth Spiders that poisoned Bill and endangered both of their lives.
If Bill wouldn’t been poisoned they would have started progressing a lot sooner but instead, they had to seek refuge in a cave where despite the odds, an advanced-tier beast resided that just so happened to attack them after Mako and Leon had their intense duel.
Later, it was because of Haruto’s interference that the Silver Wolves ambushed the group and ended up injuring Iris, and then later he and Natasha worked together to trick the group into chasing them down the mountain where Natasha targeted them one by one a put them in a dream state where they kept experiencing the worst moments of their lives again and again.
Finally, Mikhail used his captured friends as hostages to bait Mako into facing him so that he could finish him off in 1 v 1, and he was very close to achieving that as well.
‘After everything that had happened, am I wrong to harbor such feelings?’ Mako thought as he continued to watch the figures of Haruto and Natasha become smaller and smaller as they traveled further and further away from the group.
‘I need to move! I need to catch up to them! I need to finish them off so that they can feel what it’s like to mess up another person’s whole life!’ Mako screamed in his mind as his heartbeat got faster, his breathing became rapid, and he tried to summon all the willpower in his body in order to move.
But he couldn’t! No matter how much he tried! No matter how much he thought! It felt as if Mako’s body and mind were two different people. His mind wanted to catch up to Natasha and Haruto and eliminate them from the test but his body refused to listen.
‘What is wrong with me?! I want this, don’t I? I want to take my revenge! So then, why?! WHY CAN’T I MOVE A MUSCLE!?’ Mako shouted in his thoughts.
He tried to release his aura, he tried to access the system, he tried to activate a skill, but nothing worked. It felt like his consciousness was trapped inside a lifeless body.
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“Well there they go, and honestly, good riddance! I am glad that we won’t have to worry about them anymore.” Iris said in a cheerful manner as she broke the silence amongst the group.
Everyone broke out a small smile as they agreed with Iris. Even though they were all quite hurt mentally, they knew that they didn’t have to worry about them anymore and could just focus on doing their best for the test.
“Man, I am hungry. I don’t feel like eating those premade meals today! Hey Mako, what do you say we hunt for some fresh meat and throw a feast?” Bill said as he patted Mako on the back.
As soon as Bill’s hand came in contact with Mako’s body, it felt as if a chain reaction had occurred and now Mako could break free from his mental prison and move again. Mako’s vision was cloudy with darkness as he couldn’t hear what the others were saying.
He was only focused on the two that could still be barely seen in the distance and his own anger. However, as soon as Bill’s hand came into contact with Mako’s body, all that darkness had completely disappeared and he could finally sense the light that was around him.
“Huh?” Mako said in confusion.
“Uh… We were just saying that we should hunt for food by the lake and have a fresh food feast to celebrate!” Bill repeated himself.
“Oh… yeah that sounds great, and I am super drained after that fight!” Mako replied with a light smile that brightened everyone’s mood even more. .𝘤𝑜𝑚
Mako quickly gathered his backpack and his staff and quickly joined the others who were heading back up the mountain; however, now that he could freely move, he turned back around to see the two dots in the distance, but for some reason, he didn’t feel the urge to take revenge anymore.
“What had happened to me? That is not how I think. Those were not my morals. So why was I thinking such insane thoughts and why couldn’t I move?” Mako thought.
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[Far Away]
“Natasha-kun? You were sprinting at top speed for so long as if you were still running for your life! Why did you stop all of a sudden?” Haruto asked as he finally caught up to Natasha who had been speeding away faster than him due to her speed ability.
Natasha had a maniacal smile on her face as she turned toward Haruto.
“Anger and Hatred are quite interlinked with Fear, don’t you think, Haruto?” Natasha said while maintaining her creepy smile.