Ultimate Scheming System

Ancient City, before the inn: The man and the dog were creating a scene that soon attracted a crowd of cultivators. Everyone winced as they quickly recognized the pair.

“Isn’t that Duan Jiude and Buttface, the ones on a par with Xu Que? What are they doing here?”

“Crap, it’s the combination of Que, De, and Dog, the famous trio of the East Continent! Now that they’ve finally reunited, we’re in for a good show!”

Sigh…sigh!

“My brother, why are you sighing?”

“It’s just such a shame!” the cultivator replied with a pained expression. “Too bad the shackles of the Four Great Continents are so strong; otherwise we could just throw them into the Xuanzhen Continent and maybe we would win by default in five years!”

The crowd nodded in agreement upon hearing those words.

Xu Que, Duan Jiude, and Buttface – together they form the worst nightmare of the World of Cultivators. If only they would turn their attention toward the Xuanzhen Continent and wreak havoc there instead! The Xuanzhen Continent would have their hands full dealing with them, instead of their picking on the Four Great Continents.

Argrwoof! “Insolence, insolence, from whom am I hearing such slander? Fight me if you’ve got the guts! With my tens of thousands of followers in the Heavenly Explosion Faction, we’ll drown you just with our saliva alone!” Buttface’s ears, being extremely sensitive, perked up at the sound of people talking behind his back. He turned around immediately and glared.

Shocked at this response, the person who had spoken quickly clarified, while smiling bitterly, “Brother Dog, it’s a misunderstanding. I’m also a part of the Heavenly Explosion Faction!”

“Jeez, who are you calling Brother Dog? Please open your eyes wide and take a good look! I’m a wolf! A cold and lonely wolf!” Buttface yelled angrily, grabbing the clothes of Duan Jiude with his paw, while pretending to pounce on that guy. He then shouted, “Screw you, Duan Jiude! Don’t stop me! I’ll bite him to death!”

“What the hell, no one’s stopping you! Crap, stop grabbing my clothes…. They’re going to tear!” Duan Jiude quickly freed himself from Buttface’s paws. Heart aching, he held the fabric close to his chest to protect it.

Buttface stopped immediately upon seeing Duan Jiude’s reaction. He looked up arrogantly and sneered, “Forget it! I’ll let you off today! Be careful of your ancestral graves exploding should I hear you slander me again!”

Everyone’s lips pursed at Buttface’s words. This dog is indeed how Xu Que used to be – seriously shameless!

Thank goodness that Xu Que has come around to the right side. With the fate of the Four Great Continents resting on his shoulders, he’s about to lead everyone to defend their lands against their enemies. What a remarkable young hero! With that in mind, everyone heaved a sigh of relief and felt more confident than ever in Xu Que.

Creek!

At that moment, a window opened from the second floor.

Seconds later, with the sound of sloshing water, a large basin poured down from above, spilling right on Buttface and Duan Jiude.

“Crap! Who did this?”

“Screw the bastard who did this!”

Buttface and Duan Jiude yowled as they jumped aside, glaring at the room above. Xu Que peeked out from the window and teased, smiling, “Wow, what rare guests! Old beggar and Buttface, what business does the ‘Shameless Duo’ have here?”

“Screw you, who’s shameless? You attack us out of the blue, and you’ve got the cheek to call us shameless? Come down and fight me right now!” Buttface challenged haughtily.

Duan Jiude also narrowed his eyes, “Young lad, aren’t you a tad too unkind? As comrades of the righteous faction, let’s not resort to such underhanded methods, shall we?”

Everyone present pursed their lips again. Comrades of the righteous faction? For goodness sake, you three had nothing to do with the righteous wing!

“Ho, ho, are you sure that you want me to come down?” smiled Xu Que, as he sat on the windowsill.

“Umm…,” Buttface cowered when he saw Xu Que’s expression and quickly replied, “You can stay there if you want to!”

Duan Jiude mocked, “Hmph, why are you afraid of him? I’m still here, aren’t I!”

Amused, Xu Que posed with his fists and commented lightly, “Old beggar, I’ve learned a new fistfighting technique recently. It’s called the King of Tough-Acting Fist, and with it, I just killed a cultivator who was at the threshold of the Crossing Calamity Stage….”

Duan Jiude froze for a second, then hurriedly pushed Buttface in front of him, “Buttface, you’re up!”

“Ugh, owww!” Buttface pretended to fall from that shove and let out a piercing scream, “Duan Jiude, you jerk, you attacked me when I was off guard! Xu Que, I’m hurt today! Let’s call a truce!”

“Screw you…you jackass!” Duan Jiude was stunned by Buttface’s underhanded play.

Everyone has to admit, though, that the dog’s acting skills are indeed like no other. From being pushed to falling to the ground, his movements flowed as fluidly as running water. Where’d he learn all that?

Xu Que tched for the umpteenth time. He had wasted enough time messing around with these two silly heads. He waved, “Enough, stop messing around! Come on up, you both arrived just in time. Let’s discuss the Xuanzhen Continent as we eat!”

“Coming!” Buttface stood up the instant he heard that there was food. He nimbly slipped into the inn, with no sign of injury at all.

Duan Jiude glared as he entered the inn and rubbed his forehead in exasperation. He was unable to swallow the fact that Buttface was the Kylin Patriarch of the Mighty Sect, even until today. The dog is just too pathetic!

The show was over with the two troublemakers gone, and the crowd quickly dispersed. Though the news that the combination of Que, De, and Dog had reunited still spread all around. Some became excited. Some smiled bitterly, while others whined!

At the table, Duan Jiude and Buttface are sitting upright with complete alertness, not daring even to breathe. The person that they are afraid of is not Xu Que, but Jiang Hongyan who was sitting with a slight smile on her face. During this period, they had realized the identity of Jiang Hongyan. She was none other than the esteemed Empress of the Xuanzhen Continent, and her origins were extraordinary.

What was most important and shocking was that Jiang Hongyan’s cultivation stage had already shot to the first level of the Crossing Calamity Stage. Even Xu Que was astounded by her advancement. When Jiang Hongyan first emerged from the Ancient Bronze Hall, she had just reached the pinnacle of the Void Training Stage. By merely doing secluded meditation over this while, her Cultivation Stage rose as if she was riding on a rocket. In her own words, she’s not refining her cultivation; she is recovering her cultivation.

In her past life, she was at the first level of Mahayana, the Great Vehicle Stage, when she was killed. Now that she’s reborn, she has recovered to the first level of the Crossing Calamity Stage a while ago. Even though Duan Jiude had reached the first level of the Crossing Calamity Stage, he felt that he might still lose to Jiang Hongyan if they fought head-on. That was in spite of him being technically stronger than her in terms of cultivation.

Not to mention Buttface – though his potential is arguably unlimited – he’s as timid as a mouse and is so cowardly that he had avoided fighting a cultivator in the Foundation Building Stage. And he was even more cowardly when in front of Jiang Hongyan!

Of course, it was also because Jiang Hongyan carried herself with the natural air of an Empress. Her magnificence could not be diminished, even if she looked serene or smiled kindly. In front of her, even Duan Jiude and Buttface couldn’t help but be prim and proper.

Xu Que was thoroughly amused by the situation, “What’s wrong with you two today? Eat up. There’s so much delicious food! Don’t hold back!”

“No,no, I’m the guest after all, so I should act like one. I won’t touch the food before you move your chopsticks!” said Buttface in all seriousness.

Duan Jiude nodded in earnest agreement, “That’s right! Though we may be familiar with each other, we still know basic etiquette. We ought to observe table manners!”

“I see. All right then, let’s not eat. Someone, please clear the dishes, we’re going to have a serious discussion!” With a wave of his sleeve, Xu Que swiped all the dishes and, in a blink, moved to the entrance.

Duan Jiude said, “Crap!”

Buttface said, “What the hell?”

“For heaven’s sake, can you guys get a grip? Spouting vulgarities every time you speak! Don’t you have any manners? Settle down. We have more important things to discuss!” Xu Que scolded sternly. The two instantly glared back, with indignation written all over their faces. Jiang Hongyan, who stood beside Xu Que, suddenly gave them a slight smile. Duan Jiude and Buttface whimpered immediately and swallowed whatever profanity they had wanted to say.

Their response delighted Xu Que, who then pretended to be proud and aloof. With half of his body on the chair and one hand knocking on the table, he asked, “Spill it. For you two to suddenly appear here with confidence, you guys must have thought of a solution, no?”

“No!” chorused Buttface and Duan Jiude, both shaking their heads.

“Really?” Jiang Hongyan smiled as she sat beside Xu Que.

Clank!

Buttface immediately jumped off his chair and fawned over the Empress, “At your service, my Holy Senior! I have suddenly thought of a brilliant idea!”