Chapter 61 Trunk.

Chapter 61: 61 Trunk.

"Bastard!" she squealed, her face going bright red as she immediately bent down and grabbed the skirt, desperately hauling it back into place.

She kept one hand clamped over it while pointing an accusing fist at me with the other.

"Give me back the Amulet of Horus!"

"I don’t think I’m going to do that."

Instead, I swung the fire escape toward her.

Whatever warrior instincts she possessed warned her at the last possible moment. She spun around just as the mass of metal reached her.

The ladder slammed into her, and I immediately twisted my hand.

With a tortured groan from the old iron, the metal warped around her body, the bars twisting and folding until they formed a crude cage that trapped her arms and legs.

Divina gave a startled yelp and tried to hop free, but without enough room to move, she couldn’t generate the leverage necessary to use whatever superhuman strength she still possessed.

A moment later, she toppled sideways and crashed onto the alley floor.

"B-bastard!" she yelled, writhing inside the metal prison. "Have you no honor? Face me properly!"

"Yeah, that’s not happening," I said as I lowered myself back toward the car and inspected the damage.

Fortunately, the dent wasn’t nearly as bad as it had looked at first.

I focused my powers on the warped metal and carefully pushed it back outward until the door regained something resembling its original shape. From a distance, it probably looked fine.

Up close, though, the paint had been scratched to absolute hell.

Crap.

I really didn’t have time for this.

"I’m not finished with you, villain!" Divina shouted from behind me.

I looked down at her, then up toward the heavens, wondering exactly what cosmic entity had decided I needed this shit in my life.

I didn’t have time for this woman.

For a brief moment, I considered killing her.

It would certainly solve the problem.

But no.

She was beaten, and I wasn’t a murderer. Not unless someone seriously provoked me, or got on my nerves, or irritated me just a little too much, or happened to be vegan.

Besides, I couldn’t exactly leave her tied up and helpless in some filthy alley.

Sooner or later, some drug addict, pervert, or other assorted piece of human garbage would stumble across her, and I wasn’t about to leave her there for that.

None of this was really her fault, either. She clearly had no idea how the real world worked, and to be fair, the whole relationship between heroes and villains probably looked completely insane from the outside. There was a certain amount of nuance to the business that most civilians would never understand.

I also couldn’t simply give her the amulet back. The moment I did, she’d be right back on my ass.

Thankfully, this wasn’t my first encounter with this particular kind of problem.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and scrolled through my contacts until I reached the M’s. Once I found the number I wanted, I hit call and held the phone to my ear, doing my best to suppress my growing irritation while it rang.

Eventually, someone picked up.

"Welcome to the Mythic Society Help Line! How may we make your day a little more magical?"

"Yeah, hi," I said, glaring at Divina. "I’ve got a Greco-Roman-Egyptian-Norse mythological whatever trying to kill me in an alley. What exactly am I supposed to do with her?"

"Oh dear! That does sound rather unfortunate."

I heard the clicking of a keyboard on the other end.

"Hmm... I’m afraid all of our available agents and affiliated representatives are currently occupied, but we would be absolutely delighted to dispatch someone to assist you the moment one becomes available."

"And how long is that supposed to take?"

I already knew I wasn’t going to like the answer.

"We can guarantee that someone will reach you within three moons."

I groaned.

"You’re kidding me."

"So, what? I just keep her until then?"

"We would be ever so grateful if you could!"

"Fuuuuck."

I rubbed my forehead before sighing.

"Fine. I’ll take her to my new place. It’s that old chalet called the Sunset Oakland, up in the mountains. Whoever you send should be able to locate it easily enough. Just send someone there to collect her, alright?"

"Wonderful! Thank you ever so much for your cooperation. The heavens, the gods, and various eldritch entities will surely take note of your generosity and reward you accordingly in whichever afterlife you happen to prefer."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever. See you."

I ended the call.

Dammit.

This officially wasn’t my day.

Now that I’d made the call, though, I couldn’t just abandon Divina in the alley.

Gods tended to get extremely particular about hospitality, promises, and the whole business of accepting responsibility for someone under your roof. I wasn’t interested in discovering exactly how much divine retribution I could survive, so taking her with me was probably the safest option.

I opened the rear door of the car and grabbed a rag from inside.

Divina immediately tensed when I approached.

"Listen carefully," I said, crouching in front of her. "I don’t have the time or patience to keep doing this. So here’s what’s going to happen: you shut the fuck up, we both wait until the Mythic Society takes you off my hands, and then we never have to deal with each other again. Understood?"

"You will not hold me, you—"

I shoved the rag into her mouth before she could finish and stood back up.

Well.

That was progress.

I glanced toward her sword and extended my hand.

The blade responded immediately to my powers, humming as the magnetic field around it tightened. With a sharp pull, I ripped it free from the brick wall and brought it sailing into my hand.

Divina went completely still when she saw the weapon return to me, her eyes widening.

I gave the blade a quick inspection.

Hm.

Pretty nice.

The craftsmanship was excellent, and the materials were an interesting combination.

There was probably some divine enchantment worked into it too, but honestly, I had more important things to worry about.

I turned toward the back doors, slid it open, and tossed the enchanted sword inside alongside the amulet, where they landed next to cans of beer—for magnetic reasons only.

Then I slammed the door shut and turned back to Divina.

With another pull of magnetism, I lifted the twisted metal cage—and its furious occupant—off the ground.

"Mmmph!" Divina protested.

"Yeah, yeah."

I floated her into the air while I popped open the trunk of the car. I couldn’t have the cops seeing a tied up girl in my backseat, and least the trunk reduced visibility.

"Now, I know you don’t believe a word I’m saying, but I genuinely don’t want to hurt you. I’m pissed off enough to do something stupid, but I’m still trying to be the reasonable one here. You’re just some random Mythic who doesn’t understand how this world works, and if I left you tied up in a back alley, there’s no telling who might find you. So stay where you are, keep your mouth shut, and for the love of everything, don’t fuck with me. Got it?"

"Mph!"

"Good enough." I dropped her down and without ceremony slammed the trunk shut.

Fuuuck.

I was already late.

I hurried around to the driver’s side, climbed behind the wheel, and started the engine. It coughed once before finally turning over with a satisfying rumble.

At last, something had gone my way.

I backed the Crown out of the alley and merged into the traffic heading uptown.

Thankfully, the streets were mostly empty, which meant I could make decent time without having to worry too much about traffic.

Divina, meanwhile, seemed to have abandoned any hope of escape and had instead settled on repeatedly kicking the backseat.

Haah.

The day had started out so damn well, too.