Chapter 31 Jolly Fatman.

Chapter 31: 31 Jolly Fatman.

The day of the heist saw me driving back to Patty’s lab alone.

I told Glacia yesterday to rest up, but I knew she wouldn’t. Everyone got excited at their first taste of true villainy.

It was like plotting a murder crossed with Christmas Morning. And if you were the Jolly Fatman, it was even more so.

And I had to admit, the excitement was a bit infectious. As I parked my Corolla and got out, it was with a bubbling anticipation.

I headed straight through the old factory to where Patty’s lab was and hit the elevator button. The eye winked open and Patty’s chirpy voice came clear through.

"Miles!" she cried. "There you are. Come on in!"

I rode the elevator down, and no sooner had the doors opened than Patty had flung herself around my waist, hugging my tightly. I endured it.

I’m not terribly touchy-feely, comes with the territory of people either wanting to kill you or beat the hell out of you, but Patty insisted on these sorts of things whenever I came by, and I was willing to tolerate it today. Because it was going to be a very big day.

"Mmmm. Nice muscle tone. You been working out?" Patty said as she gave me a squeeze, nuzzling my chest.

"You know I do," I said with mock exasperation.

"Sure I do! But I love to hear it. Can I come watch you some time? I loooove to see the human body in action."

She gave me a wink that implied a great number of things. But I was in a rush today.

Besides, I didn’t want to give Patty too much. You had to be careful with mad scientists.

One minute you’re giving them the ride of their life, the next you’re strapped to an operating table as their new test subject.

And again, I didn’t date inside the industry. Too much baggage, and Patty likely didn’t just have skeletons in her closet, but a whole damn graveyard.

"I really just came by to pick up the suits," I told her.

"Sure! Sure. Of course you did. And visiting this pretty sheep was just a bonus, right? Ha! Of course I’m right."

"Do you have the suits?" I asked.

"Please! Of course I do!" she said with an errant motion.

Mechanical arms whirred around the room, one dipping low, depositing a suitcase of gleaming metal into Patty’s hand.

She planted it on a table and popped it open, showing me a number of neatly folded bundles of clothing.

I picked out one and lifted it up, examining it. Not bad. Not bad.

It had the look of a heavy winter parka, all blue with white trim. Fur collar and a pair of winter goggles, along with an appropriately anonymous ski mask.

"And the sticks conveniently extend," Patty said.

I took one of the rods out and pressed a button on the handle.

With a snapping sound it extended, the blade of a hockey stick jutting out from the peak.

I gave it a practice swing and it made an appropriate swishing sound in the air.

Hilariously impractical, but it would do the job, and I’d make sure the Steve’s had a couple of guns as well. Loaded with blanks, of course, but appropriately intimidating. The sticks were mostly for show and to maybe whack a few idiots who try and get in the way.

"Nice job," I said, retracting the stick with another press and stowing it back in the case.

"Anytime! But uh, could you say that again?"

"Again?"

"Yeah," Patty said, digging her toe into the floor shyly. "And um, pat my head too? Maybe stroke my wool a bit and call me a good girl?"

I rolled my eyes but smiled. The things I did for villainy. I reached out, patting the downy softness of her crimped hair, stroking it gently. "Great work, Patty. I couldn’t be happier."

"Oooohoooh..." Patty cooed, shivering with delight, nibbling on her lower lip and blushing hard.

I tried not to show how turned on I was at the sight. Patty had that effect on me, that was for sure, and she wasn’t shy about it. If I wasn’t worried about ending up on her examination table...

I removed my hand and Patty took a shuddering breath, seeming to shake off the momentary ecstasy. "Oh! Y-yeah. I almost forgot. I fixed up your suit!" Patty said, capering back to the workbench.

As she drew near a drawer hissed open, revealing the rings of metal that hid the armour I wore.

She pulled them out and trotted back towards me, holding them out with a proud grin.

"Here you go! All buffed and tuned up. You sure you don’t want me to put in some strength enhancing servos? I’ll make it cheap!"

"Patty," I said, taking the bracers. "The last time I let you tinker with my suit, it came with a massive codpiece."

"I had to fit the extra battery somewhere," Patty said impishly. "And I didn’t hear any complaints from Astral Gal. I remember that fight. She could barely keep her eyes off you!"

Patty giggled and I gave her a look, pulling the bracers and ankle metal on. The neckpiece was the last, and I have to say, it felt good to have the suit back on.

It’s not like I felt naked without it, but it felt comforting to have the gear ready to deploy—then again when I first got started I was wearing an actual suit (old habits die hard).

I did know some heroes and villains who stayed in costume all the time, and in fact can’t even get it up without the whole ensemble on. It’s weird, but some people are way too into this whole thing.

"Thanks again, Patty," I said. "I’ll be seeing you soon."

"Any time. Stay safe out there, stud!" Patty said, waving farewell.

I tipped my head to her as I returned to the elevator, shooting up to the ground floor.

I tossed the case with the uniforms into the back of my car and pulled out of the decaying industrial heart, hitting the freeway once more and aiming straight for Glacia’s building.