Chapter 282 Consult.

Chapter 282: 282 Consult.

I’d do more damage to the national birthrate than Pornhub!"

"I’ll... keep that in mind," I said slowly, entirely unsure how I actually felt about that specific line of innovation. Could highly advanced medical-grade silicone machines meaningfully consent?

Did it even matter? Those were the specific sorts of ethical questions I really didn’t need to be asking myself at seven in the morning.

"Sure thing! But maybe hold off on actively clapping those brass cheeks for a bit. Those new freelance villains are going to be stopping by soonish too. Might want to get dressed and ready to evaluate them."

Ah, right. That was happening today. "Thanks, Rhea. I almost forgot."

"Honestly, what would you ever do without me?" Rhea asked sweetly.

"Well, I’d definitely be missing a battalion of killer fembots."

"Hardly a battalion, Miles. A reinforced platoon at best. But you know, if I had a bit more allocated budget..."

I rolled my eyes. "We’ll see."

"Just throwing it out there!" Rhea sang.

Shaking my head, I killed the connection. I glanced back at the bedroom door, grasped the handle, and opened it slowly, stepping aside to let the Rhea-Search unit inside.

"Hi there," I said awkwardly. "So. Cleaning, right?"

"Of course, Master," the fembot said smoothly as she glided past me, her glowing blue eyes snapping around the room attentively as she evaluated the mess. "I will begin at once."

"Great. Thanks. I’ll just be in the shower..."

"Do you require any manual assistance in washing, Master?" she asked politely.

"What? Uh, no thanks. I’m good," I said, already edging backward toward the en-suite bathroom.

"Because I am fully waterproofed to a depth of fifty meters, Master, and I would be more than happy and willing to ensure every single nook and crevice were cleaned thoroughly! My specialized shower attachments are primed and ready for use!"

"Yeah, great," I said, aggressively closing the bathroom door. "I’ll... keep that in mind."

I shut the door firmly and turned around, letting out a breath.

Well, that was a bit weird. I was genuinely starting to wonder what other subroutines Rhea had hardcoded into that fembot’s programming.

Not going to lie, I was a bit curious, but there was plenty of time for that later. For now, I was just happy to get the hot water going and clean up. I had a big day ahead of me today.

Still, as the hot water beat down against my shoulders, I let my magnetic awareness radiate out through the bathroom walls to sense everything metallic in my bedroom.

I was deeply relieved to find that I could clearly sense and parse every single one of the fembot’s internal components.

And they were incredibly complicated. Wow. Rhea had really gone all out with the structural engineering on this thing.

And though I completely trusted her to program the new maids so they wouldn’t murder me in my sleep, it never hurt to be extra careful when intentionally letting heavily armed killer robots wander around your living space.

I had plenty of foundational confidence in Rhea’s work, mind you. Why else would I let her build her primary lab directly under my house, where she was no doubt currently keeping a massive collection of unstable doomsday devices that would give the UN night terrors?

I probably could have explicitly ordered her not to manufacture anything that would actively torch the Geneva Convention, but trying to keep an evil genius from building something to threaten the globe with was exactly like trying to make water run uphill.

It was simply in their biological nature. I mean, if we actively stifled mad science, then George de Mestral would never have accidentally invented Velcro while following his true, psychotic calling of aggressively breeding man-eating burdocks.

Sometimes, you just had to let the evil geniuses cook.

And you just kept a few heavy flamethrowers handy for when the carnivorous plant monsters eventually got into the radioactive fertilizer.

I sighed as I finished up, stepping out of the shower and aggressively drying off when my magnetic senses confirmed the Rhea-Search had finally moved off from my room, taking the dirty laundry with her.

Still, I kept a towel tied firmly around my waist as I walked out. Despite my initial misgivings, it looked like the machine had done an incredibly impressive job.

I wasn’t exactly a slob, sure, but things inevitably got messy and disorganized thanks to the grueling hours of my work.

I still kept my personal belongings to an absolute minimum purely out of habit. Originally, that was because I had to move safehouses a lot, but I was starting to finally get comfortable in the chalet. A totally new sensation for sure, but it was far from unpleasant.

Clipping my heavy tactical belt into place and sliding my iron-plated anklets and bracelets over my clothes, I finally got fully dressed. I made my way out of my bedroom and headed downstairs, intending to step out back.

"Oh, bestie! There you are."

I stopped dead on the landing. That bubbly, high-energy purr could only belong to one entity. I turned around, spotting Lilith descending the grand sweeping staircase from the third floor.

She walked like she was aggressively strutting down a catwalk, and she certainly looked the part. A skin-tight crimson dress hugged her hips and bust, paired perfectly with a thick, faux-fur scarf draped elegantly around her neck. An oversized, tailored designer jacket hung lazily off one shoulder, and a chic little pillbox hat sat perched flawlessly atop her dark hair, nested comfortably between her two curved horns. Her golden eyes glowed playfully behind oversized, tinted sunglasses as she stopped at the bottom step, extending a manicured hand toward me.

"Lilith," I said, taking her hand and politely kissing the back of her crimson knuckles. "Did you need something?"

Lilith giggled brightly. "Oh, always, Milesy! Always! But the big question is always who can actually provide it? And the answer today, bestie, the truly marvelous answer, is you!"

"Well, anything to make your extended vacation better," I said.

Lilith laughed merrily, practically bouncing on her stiletto heels. "Oh, thank you, bestie! Thank you! And really, I do so massively appreciate you offering your gorgeous estate to me during this little period of relaxation. It has been such an incredibly wonderful experience! Like, totally a wonder!"

That was certainly one positive way to put it. Sure, Edna had basically aggressively imposed the demon on me without asking, but I had definitely come out ahead on the backend of the whole arrangement.

Speaking of...

"Lilith?" I asked carefully. "Might this little chat have anything to do with certain heavily armed killer robots currently roaming the halls in French maid outfits?"

Lilith’s eyes instantly lit up. Literally. Those glittering golden irises flared brightly behind her shades. "Omg, you noticed!"

"It was incredibly hard not to," I said.

"Of course it was, bestie! Of course! How could you possibly ignore that specific silhouette? And I am quite proud of it! Like, simply proud beyond measure! When your cute little mad scientist came up to my room to consult about uniform costumes, I was totally thrilled, Milesy! Utterly thrilled!

"I could tell right away that Rhea, though delightfully technical with the robotics, didn’t have a super strong grasp on the absolute visual appeal of proper attire! Oh no, bestie!

"Though her dirty work coat look matches her wonderfully, we had to push the envelope for the staff! Push it so much further! And I was super glad to help out! Simply delighted to consult!"

"I bet. So, what exactly did you want to talk about?"