Chapter 262 Rhe-Search.

Chapter 262: 262 Rhe-Search.

Holy shit, I was absolutely not in the mood to interview more wannabe bad guys after the nightmare at the Intergate lab.

But despite the mounting stress of a hive-mind demon actively trying to murder me, I still had corporate obligations to fulfill. I was running a business, after all.

So, the next morning found me right back in the boardroom with Psyren, screening the latest batch of freelance villains.

"So," I said, leaning over my desk. "Mars, huh? Must be really nice up there this time of year. Very... red."

"Ack ack," the alien replied. His oversized, bulbous skull swayed heavily inside the glass bubble of his pressurized helmet. "Ack. Ack ack ack ack!"

"Uh-huh," I murmured. I stole a quick glance at my monitor. Rhea had coded a real-time translation program for the interview in her AI Rhea-Search (Sorry, I didn’t name it that sooner, guess the idiot in the air is getting to me), and the scrolling text was highly disturbing. "And, what exactly is your primary function as a villain?"

"Ack ack ack. Ack. Ack ack!"

"I see. And how do you go about stealing people’s bodies, exactly?"

"Ack. Ack. Ack ack ack ack. Ack ack."

"A localized disintegration ray. Fascinating." I clasped my hands together on the desk, leaning forward a fraction. "Tell me something. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"Ack ack. Ack! Ack ack!"

"Right," I said slowly. "But hypothetically, when your mother ship finally does return with the rest of the invasion fleet to conquer Earth and harvest our organs, would you remain in your current position within my organization? Or would you be joining the fleet to help enslave humanity?"

"Ack? Ack. Ack ack ack ack."

"Mmm," I nodded thoughtfully. "Right. Well, I think we have everything we need to make a decision. Thank you for coming in, Mister... Ack. We’ll be in touch."

"Ack ack," the Martian said politely. He extended a tiny, three-fingered green hand to shake mine before hopping out of the oversized leather guest chair and sauntering out the double doors.

I waited for the doors to click shut before digging the heels of my palms violently into my eyes. "Ughhhh."

"I actually liked him," Psyren chirped from the corner of the room, kicking her boots up onto the table. "Well-traveled guy. Clear goals. Knew exactly what he wanted out of his career."

"He explicitly wanted to sever his own head and surgically graft it onto a kidnapped Olympic weightlifter," I pointed out flatly.

"Highly ambitious for self-improvement," Psyren countered smoothly. "Exactly the kind of—pfffff! I’m just yanking your chain, boss. Ha ha ha! Holy shit, what a total weirdo!"

I rolled my eyes as Psyren hopped up and slapped my back enthusiastically. "Uh-huh." I tapped the comms unit in my ear. "Glacia? Send in the next applicant."

Instead of the buzzer sounding, the heavy oak door cracked open, and Glacia physically poked her head inside. "Actually, sir, I believe Madame Lilith and Hex have a concrete update for you."

I sat up noticeably straighter. "They do?"

"Yes, sir. I was explicitly instructed to inform you the moment the morning interviews had concluded."

Finally! I stood up quickly, letting the heavy iron plating of my helmet recede into my collar. "Great! Let’s go see what they’ve got."

"Alright!" Psyren cheered, bouncing on her heels. "Finally, some actual action! I was losing my mind in here."

I wasn’t entirely sure ’action’ was the right word for it, but any forward momentum on the Legion problem was excellent news. I hurried down the dark, carpeted halls of the guest wing, reaching Lilith’s suite in short order.

I rapped my knuckles against the heavy wood. "Lilith?"

"Milesy! Oh my gosh, come in! The door is open!"

I pushed the handle down and ducked inside. "Hey, so you had some—holy hell."

I forcefully jerked my gaze toward the ceiling, but the visual was already permanently burned into my retinas.

Lilith was standing dead center in the middle of the room, completely naked once again. But this time, her crimson skin was absolutely covered from head to toe in thick, glowing arcane glyphs painted in what looked like heavy black ink.

Vanessa was standing next to her. She was likewise naked, save for a thin white silk robe that hung completely open from her shoulders.

Matching, intricate magical symbols were painted aggressively across her pale skin. She glared in my direction, her chin tilted up defiantly, her visible eye blazing as if actively daring me to make a comment about her lack of attire.

Fortunately, my foundational survival instincts were strong enough that I managed to swallow the phrase ’Nice tits’ before it left my mouth. But it was a terrifyingly close call.

"Uh. Hi. Ladies," I managed to say, addressing a spot on the wall three feet above their heads. "What exactly... is happening here?"

"Aw, hell yes! Naked party!" Psyren cheered from right behind me. She immediately grabbed the hem of her tank top and started pulling it over her head.

"This is not a party!" Vanessa scoffed loudly, the heavy silver bells woven into her hair jangling in outrage.

Psyren froze, her shirt bunched halfway up her stomach. "It’s not?"

"No!" Vanessa snapped sharply, crossing her arms to cover herself. "This was a highly serious ritual of extreme arcane significance! A delicate, multi-tiered operation fraught with intense spiritual danger!"

I lowered my eyes just enough to scan the chalk circles drawn across the hardwood floor. My gaze stopped dead on a cluster of empty glass bottles clustered near the center of a summoning pentagram.

"Is that... vodka?" I asked.

"Totally vital to the process, Milesy! Super vital!" Lilith exclaimed cheerfully, bouncing on her toes.

"To summon Legion?" I clarified.

"Oh, gosh no! Are you crazy? We didn’t summon him into the bedroom!" Lilith giggled. "But the vodka was super useful in helping us reach the exact right chaotic headspace to discover how to summon him!"

"So you actually locked down the ritual?" I asked, finally letting a wave of genuine relief wash over me.

"One hundred percent, bestie!" Lilith cheered. She strutted across the chalk circles toward me, completely unbothered by her state of undress.

The heavy black runes painted on her crimson skin seemed to physically shift and slide across her curves in a deeply hypnotic, impossible way.

"That’s fantastic news," I said, trying incredibly hard to focus strictly on the bridge of her nose.

"Isn’t it just?" Lilith cooed loudly. She pressed her warm, ink-stained side directly against my arm, resting her chin on my shoulder pad. "There are just a few teeny-tiny things we need before we can cast the spell."

"Things?" I repeated warily.

"Special ingredients, Milesy."

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. "How special?"

"Super special! Like, incredibly rare!" Lilith beamed, her yellow eyes flashing with excitement. "We are going to need to take a little field trip to get them."

"Where?"

"The Floating World!"

Dammit.

I let out a long, heavy sigh that seemed to deflate my entire chest. "I’ll go warm up the car."

"Yay! Road trip!" Lilith squealed, clapping her hands together. "This is going to be so much fun!"