Transdimensional Marketing

Chapter 374: Salute the Hero!

Translator: Exodus Tales  Editor: Exodus Tales

Chapter 374 – Salute the Hero!

“Dear viewers, sorry for the long wait. I have already read the detailed information about this product, so we can now begin with the introduction.”

Forcing out a laugh, Chen Yu pointed at the blue supergiant and said, “Let me tell you some good news. This blue supergiant isn’t something as dangerous as a stellar battleship. Actually, it’s just a big firecracker!”

[??]

[???]

[You call that a firecracker?]

[Nian: …][1]

[I might not have received a lot of education, but even I am not that dumb…]

[UP! You’re going too far! Do you take us for fools? That’s at least a firework, right?]

[??]

[A firecracker, hahaha…]

[I can’t bring myself to laugh at all. I’m not interested in Transdimensional Review’ either. I only want to know if this big star will have any effects on Earth.]

[The host has already clearly stated that once the supergiant dies, the resulting gamma-ray burst will light up the entire Milky Way. Do you think there won’t be any effects on Earth?]

[Crap!]

“Alright, I admit that this firecracker is a little big,” Chen Yu said, doing his best to stabilize the emotions of his audience.

It should be known that he currently had over 800 million IP addresses connected to his livestream! Moreover, who knew how many people were gathered behind each IP address? Faced against such numbers, if he handled the situation poorly, it would cause chaos to envelop the entire world.

“Like I said before, the collapse of a supergiant is exceptionally lethal. Any planet hit by the resulting gamma-ray burst will turn into purgatory instantly. However, similar to the firecrackers we have, so long as we do not detonate it, it won’t pose a threat.

“Now, please loosen your thoughts and stop focusing on its nature as a weapon.” Pointing an index finger at the blue supergiant, Chen Yu spoke softly, “Let us strip off its natural pride, exclude outside interferences, and assume that it is only an ordinary supergiant… Look at how big and round it is? Doesn’t it look cute?

“Hence, everyone need not worry. Although this blue supergiant is already near the end of its lifespan, a short time for the vast universe is a long time for humans.

“Moreover, I am a product reviewer. If I get everyone killed, who would I advertise my products to?”

[Emmm. I guess everything’s alright?]

[But why do I still feel that something’s amiss?]

[He sounds a bit bureaucratic…( ͡°͜ʖ͡°)]

[Am I the only one who thinks that it’s boring if the host doesn’t detonate the star?]

[You’re not alone.]

[+1]

[Since this thing isn’t a stellar battleship, and the host isn’t going to detonate the star, what’s the point of this review?]

[UP, just detonate it.]

[You stupid, crazy bastards! Are you not afraid of death?! Host, look over here! Aim at Earth’s kidney and give it a good blow!]

Raising his watch and carefully observing the bullet comments coming in from the various livestream rooms, Chen Yu felt soothed by his audience’s reactions. He then regained his calm and began his introduction.

“Now that everyone knows that this product is harmless to the solar system, I will now reveal its main purpose and technological content to everyone.

“This product’s full name is the M·A·D Milky Way Destruction Network. The entire network is composed of 175 similar supergiants scattered across the Milky Way. When these 175 supergiants detonate simultaneously, the gamma-ray bursts produced will create a horrifying chain reaction that can eliminate more than 87% of the Milky Way’s living creatures.

“Meanwhile, this blue supergiant is one of the 175 supergiants making up the M·A·D Network.

“The abbreviation M·A·D stands for Mutually Assured Destruction. I’m sure everyone is familiar with this term, right?

“That’s right.” Nodding, Chen Yu said, “We are also using this doctrine to maintain peace on Earth in our modern age, albeit a scary peace.

“Therefore, the usefulness of this powerful bomb is self-evident. It is a strategic weapon that allows humans to gain a foothold in the Milky Way galaxy. It functions similarly to the Sword of Damocles in the Three-Body Problem.

“Through this product, we can see that the starry sky outside the solar system is not only beautiful, but it is also filled with endless threats. The future humans we see as being extremely powerful might not be living as beautiful of a life as we imagined them to be.”

[A super-enhanced version of nuclear weapons!]

[Now these are the humans I know! Everyone, give a thumbs up to our future generations!]

[Grandchildren, you’re amazing!]

[Great-grandchildren, you’re amazing!]

[Lololol, I’m laughing to death. However, my wife is indeed pregnant, so I sincerely hope that human civilization will become increasingly better.]

Opening the cabin hatch, Chen Yu flew out into space in the E·I Force Field and rapidly approached the blue supergiant. “For convenience’s sake, let’s call this thing a galaxy bomb. The Human Alliance’s Strategic Security Department’s twelfth team manufactured this specific galaxy bomb and put it into service in 7041.

“During its 1,000-year service, it has witnessed the process of human civilization going from weak to strong, from madness to introversion. Therefore, compared with previous products, this fellow here carries an additional flavor.

“And that is, history…and merit.

“Unfortunately, due to its particularity, it cannot remain in its original world and approach its death under the shower of cheers and respect. Since we are the ancestors of future humans, we should clean up for those little kids of ours. Now, all rise!”

After saying so, Chen Yu abruptly straightened his body, faced his back against the camera, removed his mask, and stared straight at the blue supergiant.

…

Simultaneously, inside the Observer Conference Hall in New York…

At Chen Yu’s words, everyone inside the room looked at each other with bewildered looks on their faces.

That was, until the middle-aged team leader from China awkwardly scratched his nose, sighed, and stood up.

Big Sis Wu and the other staff members from China also stood up.

“…”

“…”

After a momentary silence, an inexplicable emotion enveloped the room.

Everyone then began standing up one after another, their eyes staring at the blue supergiant on the screen.

In less than two minutes, nobody in the room remained sitting.

Even some of the paralyzed scholars in the room had their students “forcefully” lift them up…

Meanwhile, in the private sector, inside some offices, bars, restaurants, and other places, so long as someone took the lead, a group of people would follow them.

Some cities around the world even turned on their defense sirens to serve as background music.

…

“Hu…”

Taking a deep breath, Chen Yu looked forward and bowed deeply. “Thank you for your contribution to human civilization.

“With the glory of mankind, we salute the hero.”

…

“With the glory of mankind, we salute the hero…”

Upon hearing Chen Yu’s words, the middle-aged team leader nearly had a cerebral hemorrhage.

“L-Leader…” Looking at the middle-aged team leader with pitiful eyes, Big Sis Wu asked, “M-Must we really say it?”

“…With the glory of mankind!”

“With the glory of mankind!” x727

“We salute the hero!”

“We salute the hero!” x727

TL Notes:

[1]Nian: The nian is a beast found in Chinese mythology. According to legends, the nian will come out of its hiding place during winter and enter villages to eat the crops and sometimes the villagers, mostly children. To make the nian leave them in peace, villages would either leave food offerings or use firecrackers, red lanterns, and red robes to scare it away.

Wikipedia Link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nian