Chapter 45 Not ready.

Chapter 45: Chapter 45 Not ready.

Something carried the intensity of that voice—whether it was some sinister power or not, Noah had no idea. But it snapped him out of whatever frenzy he had been trapped in, fast and hard.

"Oh my head!! What the fuck just happened??" He jerked upright, the hazy state he’d been in dissolving instantly. The warm, pleasurable sensation that Eugene and Killian had been drawing out of him died right there on the spot.

Eugene got up first, gently taking Noah’s face between his palms so he could look at him properly. His eyes searched Noah’s with genuine concern. "What’s the matter? Aren’t you enjoying it? Or am I doing something wrong?"

Killian stood right in front of him too, posture tense as he checked to make sure Noah was truly okay. "Talk to us. Tell us what’s bothering you," Killian probed softly.

Instead of answering right away, Noah started glancing around the floor, searching desperately for his boxers. While he hunted, Eugene dangled the missing item right between his fingers with a small, teasing smile. Noah felt his face heat up, turning almost pink at the sight.

"Give me that. Gosh, this is so embarrassing." He snatched the boxers quickly and pulled them on, followed by his trousers, still avoiding their questions. The silence stretched, heavy with everything unsaid.

Killian’s frustration finally broke through. "Little kitten, talk to me. What’s wrong? Didn’t you say you were enjoying the way we were pleasuring you?" His voice cracked just a little. "It’s me, right? I wasn’t doing it the right way, was I?"

The guilt hit Noah like a wave. He opened his mouth but couldn’t find the right words fast enough. Killian took that hesitation as confirmation and stepped back, embarrassment flooding his expression. "I knew it. I’m the one you didn’t want to continue with. Maybe that’s why you weren’t interested in me from the start. I can’t do anything interesting. I don’t know why I even try."

As Killian turned to walk away, Noah reached out with surprising strength and grabbed his arm, pulling him back firmly. "That isn’t what I’m thinking at all. Don’t think of yourself like that."

But Killian shook his head, eyes glassy. "But it feels like the truth. I feel like you trust Marcus and Damien more than me, and it breaks my heart. It makes me feel like I’m losing you."

Losing him? Noah didn’t fully understand what Killian was driving at. They weren’t even in a relationship yet. This whole thing wasn’t supposed to get this serious, this fast.

"Wait—we aren’t dating," Noah said carefully. "You’re going way too far with this, and I’m not the one causing it."

Killian’s jaw dropped. He staggered back a step, looking between Noah and Eugene, who had fallen completely silent. "You’re not serious. Please tell me you’re not. I thought we were finally getting somewhere. All those signs I gave you... spending more time with you, feeling more connected. We looked like soulmates. Can’t you feel it? Why are you acting like you don’t want it?"

Killian looked like he was seconds away from collapsing. It shocked Noah to his core. He hadn’t realized Killian’s feelings ran this deep or that they were this fragile. On the outside he always seemed so tough, but right now he was shaking like a trembling leaf in the wind. The sight pierced Noah’s heart painfully. How had Ashton never noticed or associated with someone this sweet? It just didn’t add up.

"I need to figure myself out first, Killian. I want to love you—I really do want to," Noah admitted. For the first time since arriving here, the words felt completely true. Killian made him feel safe in a way he hadn’t experienced in so long. But this wasn’t the right time for a relationship. Everything was too chaotic.

"What’s stopping you?" Killian asked, going straight to the point again, voice raw.

"Whatever is going on in this school is none of my business. I vowed to protect you, Ashton—to make sure you’re not in any danger. That should be enough. We may not have started on the right foot, but I’ll do my best." Killian paused, then pushed on. "Okay, maybe we’re rushing it. Let’s start with just talking, getting to know each other better. But please don’t cut me off like this!"

Noah felt overwhelmed. "You’re not the problem, Killian. I never said the problem was you. It’s me—aren’t you seeing that? I’m fucking different now, and that scares me because I’m in this dangerous world I don’t understand much about. Look at me. I might have powers, but I can’t use them properly. It’s not cool at all. And then I saw you in my memories, on the roof where you pushed me off. Why did I see that? How are you connected to that moment? It’s just scaring me."

At Noah’s revelation, Killian fell silent. He stared at him slowly, processing every word, understanding dawning in his eyes. "I’ve said it before—I love this new you, Ashton. Being different doesn’t matter to me. We could help with that. You don’t have to be alone. I don’t want you to be alone. Why don’t you get that?" His voice softened. "I’m sorry if it seems like we’re not giving you enough space. I’ll try harder. And training—maybe we should start some magic training just for you."

Killian’s suggestion finally pulled Eugene out of his silence. "Yeah, I support that completely. I can train you myself, help you master your powers. If I can’t handle everything, I know exactly the person who can. You’ll learn what you need in no time, and we’ll keep it secret because I know that’s what you want."

Noah looked at both of them and facepalmed, groaning inwardly. Why was the entire story suddenly revolving around him? Everything kept circling back to Ashton’s name when he was supposed to be nothing more than a background character—a disposable villain the heroine would eventually kill off. That was his supposed fate. But now it was spiraling out of control, tangled up in emotions, magic, and a supernatural world he had no map for.

"Say something, Ashton. Isn’t the idea nice?" Eugene pressed gently. "And about pushing you off the roof—I didn’t do that. Why would I ever push you? I wasn’t even with you that day. I was down below the building when you fell. I just..."

Noah’s attention snapped fully to him. "You just what?"

Killian continued, voice thick with memory. "I just stood there, trying to think of how to get your attention. Then you fell. I thought I was going to die right there with you. I watched you get help, but I couldn’t bring myself to visit the special center afterward. I didn’t want to see the look on your face when you woke up and saw me. You always had this peculiar expression when you looked at me, and I hated it."

Noah stayed speechless through the whole confession. By the end, he could only conclude that Ashton truly didn’t have good taste in men. The other Moonlight Alphas were decent, but turning down Killian? In what universe? This guy was everything Noah had ever wanted in someone—kind beneath the toughness, attentive, emotionally open. What a pity it was the wrong place and the wrong time. He would have gone for him without hesitation. The others... he couldn’t say the same.

As he kept listening, a sudden chill crept over Noah’s skin. "Oh man, this place suddenly feels so chilly."

Eugene walked up behind him and stood close, whispering near his ear. "Here, take my jacket. I might be watching you two talk so you can settle things, but that doesn’t mean I’m not right here." He draped the huge jacket over Noah’s shoulders, just like he had done back in the detention room. Noah sighed at the familiar warmth.

"You don’t have to keep doing this every single time."

Eugene shook his head with a stubborn glint in his eyes. "So you can let others do favors for you, but not me in particular? Well noted. But it’s a pity—I don’t play by those rules."

Noah was convinced he would lose his mind dealing with this group of boys soon. He would probably end up in the asylum at this rate, driven there by their intensity and care.

"Killian. Eugene," he called out. Both of them turned to him expectantly, hope flickering in their eyes.

"I don’t think I can chase you guys away because, unfortunately, you won’t take no for an answer—which should feel creepy, but it doesn’t, and I can’t explain why. So just be patient with me. I’m sure I can let you in a little bit, maybe even try changing my mind about some things. But as for a full relationship right now, I’m not sure. Still, I’m stuck with you people, so please don’t do anything stupid that would make me regret opening up even this much."

Killian broke into a bright smile, relief washing over his face. Eugene kept his usual neutral expression, though something softer lingered in his gaze.

"Aren’t you going to smile, Eugene? At least a little?" Noah asked, half-teasing.

Killian scoffed playfully. "Don’t mind him. He’s just acting like a tough baddie. I’m sure if you get him in bed he’ll start moaning his life out."

Eugene’s face flushed deep red, and he looked like he wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole. Noah shook his head, chuckling despite everything. Those words were pretty vile, but they cut through the heavy tension.

He was tired of staying cooped up in the room. A restless feeling had settled into his bones. "Are we going to find our way out of here or something? I’ve got this strong feeling that something is seriously wrong out there."

Killian and Eugene both raised their brows in unison. "Are you for real? Something’s wrong?" Killian asked.

Noah nodded firmly. They began scanning the area carefully. After a moment, Eugene’s voice rose with excitement. "Come here, you two. I think I saw a door."

They rushed over together, only to discover the door was locked tight—sealed completely shut with no visible way to open it or escape.

"Way to go, Eugene. That’s a dead end," Killian muttered.

Noah dropped his hands in defeat, not realizing that as he did so, his fingers had clutched onto the door frame. Something sharp and unseen began pulling at his skin, a strange tingling sensation he remained completely unaware of for now.