To ruin an Omega

Chapter 202: The top drawer

CIAN

I left Madeline’s room with my thoughts churning like a storm I couldn’t quiet.

My feet carried me through the hallways without conscious direction. I needed to move. Needed to burn off whatever this restless energy was that had taken root in my chest.

The training grounds sprawled out behind the main estate. Open space ringed with forest on three sides. I spotted Ronan immediately. He was alone, working through a series of strikes against one of the practice dummies. His movements were fluid and controlled.

“Ronan,” I called out.

He turned, wiping sweat from his brow. “Cian.”

“Spar with me.”

He raised an eyebrow but didn’t question it. He just nodded and moved to the center of the ring. I joined him there, rolling my shoulders to loosen them.

We circled each other. It was a familiar dance before we engaged.

“I was right,” I said. “About Madeline.”

Ronan’s stance shifted slightly. Prepared but listening. “Right about what?”

“C’mon. That she wants to be here. For a reason.”

He made the first move. A quick jab that I blocked easily. “You’re talking too fast and I am so lost. Begin from the beginning.”

I deflected his next strike and countered with one of my own. He dodged. “Madeline just told me she practically got disowned. By her family and her coven.”

That made him pause. Just for a fraction of a second. “Goddess. That’s horrible.”

“Yeah.” I landed a hit to his shoulder. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt. This was just a spar after all. “But she wants to stay here.”

“Not without your permission though.” Ronan swept low, trying to take my legs out. I jumped back. “So does it even matter?”

The words stuck in my throat for a moment. I threw a combination. Left, right, left. He blocked all three.

“I let her.”

Ronan stopped moving. Fully stopped. “What?”

I mirrored his stillness. “What?”

“With the way you are actively demonizing her,” he said, and his voice had an edge to it now, “why would you let her stay?”

I felt my jaw tighten. “To figure out her game.”

“This is on you, Cian.”

The disappointment in his tone made something hot flare in my chest. I came at him harder. My fist connected with his ribs. He grunted but didn’t back down.

“I only did it to watch her,” I said. “To see what she’s playing at.”

Ronan blocked my next strike and shoved me back. There was something in his expression. Something that looked almost sad. “Right. And it has nothing to do with the fact that there is some strong dissonance going on here.”

“Why are you defending her?” The question came out sharper than I intended.

We were moving faster now. Trading blows with more force behind them.

“Does it sound like I am doing that?” Ronan caught my wrist and twisted. I broke free and drove my elbow toward his face. He ducked.

“Yeah. You have been defending her since I brought this topic to you. If I didn’t know better. I’d think you are in cohorts with her or something.”

“You only feel that way because I am making you uncomfortable.”

I threw a punch. He sidestepped. “Well yes. You keep implying I am still in love with her or something and I am not.”

Ronan came at me then. Really came at me. His fist caught my jaw and my head snapped to the side. I tasted copper.

“You didn’t have to make her stay,” he said, breathing hard now. “You had full control over that if you felt she was suspicious. But you did. Why?”

“I just told you.” I wiped blood from my lip and launched myself at him. We grappled, both trying to gain the upper hand. “To watch her. To see what her game is about.”

“That is if she indeed killed Ophelia.” Ronan’s voice was strained with effort as we struggled. “That is if she is indeed working for Gabriel. But we don’t know that. You don’t know that.”

I shoved him back hard. He stumbled but kept his footing.

“And she did you a solid one with your mother and your mate,” he continued. “She doesn’t deserve for you to wrap your unresolved feelings in suspicions just because you won’t have a real and mature discussion and close that Chapter.”

Something in me snapped. Blood rushed behind my ears and my entire body grew hot.

I hated that he wouldn’t let it go. He wouldn’t let it die.

I laughed though. The sound was harsh and wrong even to my own ears. To pretend that his assumption wasn’t doing numbers on my mind.

“I am not in love with her.” I maintained.

My next strike was too hard. Too fast. Too violent.

Ronan tried to block but I was past the point of measured sparring. I was fighting like I needed to prove something. To him. To myself. To the world.

Each hit landed with more force than the last. Ronan gave as good as he got but I could see him starting to struggle. Could see the concern creeping into his eyes.

“Do you still have that picture of her in your drawer?” He followed and that was what broke the camel’s back.

The words hit me like a physical blow and I saw red.

My fist flew forward with everything I had behind it. It connected with Ronan’s face with a sickening crack. His head whipped back and his body followed. He flew backward and hit the ground hard.

The sound of his body landing snapped me out of whatever haze had taken over.

“Fuck.” I was already running toward him. “Ronan. Ronan, I’m sorry.”

He was on his back, one hand pressed to his face. Blood poured from his nose. Bright red against his skin.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I dropped to my knees beside him. My hands hovered uselessly. Not sure what to do or how to help.

Ronan lowered his hand slowly. His nose was definitely broken. The blood kept coming.

“I must be right then,” he said. His voice was thick and nasal from the injury. “Only hit dogs holler. Or break noses.”

The shame that crashed over me was overwhelming. I had hit him. My best friend. My beta. The person who had stood by me through everything.

“Man, you have to face it.” Ronan sat up slowly, still holding his nose. “You have to confront whatever is still left. For your sake. Madeline’s sake. And for the sake of Fia.”

I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I have come to like her,” he continued. “So don’t you hurt her. Or Madeline. I still fancy her brother.”

That surprised a wet laugh out of me. Despite everything. Despite the blood and the shame and the guilt eating away at my insides.

“Right… But first let’s get you fixed up.”

“It will heal.” Ronan waved me off but accepted my hand when I offered to help him up.

We stood there in the middle of the training ring. Blood on the ground between us. The sun was starting to get hotter.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I admitted quietly.

Ronan tilted his head back to slow the bleeding. “I know.”

“I don’t know why I did that,” I admitted. “I was so sure I was over her. I thought I moved on.”

“Maybe you did. Maybe you didn’t. But either way, you need to be honest with yourself.” He looked at me then. His eyes were already starting to bruise. “Because right now? You’re lying to everyone. Including yourself.”

The words settled heavy in my chest.

I had let Madeline stay. Had insisted on it even when she tried to decline. Had told myself it was about watching her. About keeping her close to figure out her motives.

But was that really why?

I wasn’t even sure anymore.

Ronan did hit something hard. I still had Madeline’s picture in my drawer.

“I love Fia,” I said. And I meant it.

“I believe you.” Ronan’s voice was gentle now. “But that doesn’t mean there isn’t something unfinished with Madeline.”

We started walking back toward the main house. Ronan kept his head tilted back and I stayed close in case he needed support.

My knuckles ached. I looked down at them and saw they were already starting to swell.

“Thank you,” I said after a while.

“For what? Getting my nose broken?”

“For being honest with me. Even when I didn’t want to hear it.”

Ronan snorted, then winced at the pain it caused. “That’s what betas are for. To tell their alphas when they’re being idiots.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah. But you’re my idiot.”

“Come on,” I said as we got inside, guiding Ronan toward the infirmary. “Let’s get you properly looked at.”

“It’s already healing.”

“Humor me.”

He sighed but didn’t argue.

What he said however still lingered deeply inside my mind. Did I still have unfinished business with Madeline and was all this suspicion, even the thing with the smell of her magic all just my mind going through crazy dissonance?