To ruin an Omega

Chapter 193: Old Things 2

MADELINE

Morrigan sighed. It was a small sound, almost sad. “Did you do it completely out of the good of your heart?”

“You know me.” I met her eyes. “Of course I did. I never want to see Cian in pain.”

“There.” She took a step closer. “Right there. That’s the issue. When you say that, it tells me you didn’t do it purely because it was the right thing to do. You did it because this concerned Cian. Someone you once loved.” She paused. “Someone you still love. Am I wrong?”

I didn’t say anything at first. Couldn’t. The words were there, locked behind my teeth, fighting to get out. Finally, I managed, “Am I supposed to feel guilty?”

“Of course not.” Morrigan’s expression softened. “But things are not the same anymore. Cian is not the same anymore.”

“Neither is any of us.”

“He has a mate now.”

I scoffed. Actually scoffed. The sound came out harsher than I intended, echoing in the quiet room. “You’re afraid I’ll get between them and ruin what they have?”

“You might have had a past with him.” Morrigan’s voice stayed level. Calm. Like she was explaining something simple to a child. “But it’s not fair to ruin his present because of old things.”

“Old things?” My voice rose. “Cian didn’t end things with me. Not really.”

Morrigan waited.

“If we’re being real, I ended things with him because he wouldn’t choose me.”

“You wanted him to choose you over his father’s legacy.” Morrigan shook her head slowly. “That would never have worked. Ever.”

The memories hit me like a physical blow. Aldric’s face, cold and calculating. His voice, smooth as silk and twice as deadly. The way he’d backed me into a corner, made it impossible for me to stay without destroying everything Cian had worked for. Make my nephew choose, he’d said. Make it easy on everyone and just let him choose.

So I had.

My voice cracked. “Do you really believe I wanted to put Cian between a rock and a hard place?”

“Madeline—”

“I had no problem being his Luna.” The words tumbled out now, faster, harder. “Even if I had my fears. Like his court wanting a proper werewolf Luna. After all, interspecies marriage still has a long way to go.” I laughed, but there was no humor in it. “A fear that actually happened regardless. Even if he only did it because he was afraid you would die.”

Morrigan was quiet for a long moment. When she spoke again, her voice was gentler. “Regardless, he loves Fia.”

“Then you shouldn’t be worried, I guess.” I crossed my arms over my chest, wincing as the movement pulled at my bruised shoulder. “No matter what I do, he won’t fall. Right?”

“So I do have your confession then.” Morrigan’s eyes searched my face. “You’re also back to fight for his love.”

“It’s not the first time an Alpha has had multiple wives.”

“It was a thought that killed you before.” Morrigan took another step closer. Close enough that I could see the fine lines around her eyes, the slight shadows underneath them. “It’s why you made Cian choose. Why settle for it now if it repulsed you so much before?”

I thought about my father. About the guinea pigs. About the deadman switch and the blood in my drawer and everything that had brought me to this moment, standing in this room, having this conversation.

“Perhaps I know the depths of my love now.”

Morrigan shook her head. The movement was slow, deliberate, almost pitying. “I say this because of how greatly you have helped me and what once was.” She turned toward the door. “Disengage before you break your heart for the second time.”

She put her hand on the doorknob.

“Because you will lose.”

The door opened. Morrigan stepped through it without looking back. The sentinels fell into step behind her, and then they were gone. The door clicked shut.

I stood there in the middle of my bedroom, breathing hard. My hands were shaking again. Everything was shaking.

The sun was higher now. Real light streamed through the windows, turning everything golden and warm. It should have been beautiful. Should have been the start of a good day.

Instead, I walked to the mirror again. Stared at myself. At the bruise. At the dark circles. At the woman who had saved a dying Luna only to be told she had no place in the life of the man she still loved.

You will lose.

Maybe Morrigan was right. Maybe I would.

But I had come too far to stop now. Too much had happened. Too much was at stake.

I touched the bruise on my shoulder gently. The pain was sharp and immediate, radiating out through the muscle and bone. Physical. Real. Something I could point to and say, this hurts.

Not like the other pain. The one that lived deeper. The one that had been there since the day I walked away from Cian. Since the day I chose for both of us because he couldn’t choose for himself.

The hot bath could wait.

I needed to think. Needed to plan. Needed to figure out what came next in this impossible situation I’d found myself in.

My father wanted me to find Aldric’s weakness. To dismantle the deadman switch. To save the family.

Morrigan wanted me to leave. To give up. To let Cian have his new life with his new mate.

And what did I want?

I looked at myself in the mirror. Really looked. Past the bruise and the exhaustion and the mess. Down to whatever was left of the person I used to be.

I still wanted Cian. I had always wanted Cian.

But wanting something and being able to have it were two very different things.

The drawer with the vial pulled at my attention. Fia’s blood. Another piece in whatever game Aldric was playing. Another complication in an already complicated situation.

Wilhelm would come. He’d take the vial to Father. And then what? What would Father do with it? What could he possibly learn from Fia’s blood that would make any of this better?

I didn’t know.

I didn’t know anything anymore except that I was tired. Bone-deep, soul-crushing tired. Tired of the secrets and the lies and the violence. Tired of being thrown into walls by my own father. Tired of being virtually told I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t the right species, wasn’t wanted. Tired of playing games.

But being tired didn’t change anything.

The world kept spinning. The problems kept piling up. And I kept moving forward because that was all I knew how to do.

I turned away from the mirror and started gathering clothes for after the bath. Something with long sleeves. Something that would hide the bruise. Something that would make me look put together even though I was falling apart inside.

You will lose.

Morrigan’s words echoed in my head.

Maybe she was right.

But I’d lost before, and I was still here.

Still breathing.

Still fighting.

And I wasn’t done yet.