To My Dear Mr. Huo

“I want to go home.”

Su Qingsang’s voice was very quiet and Huo Jinyao could feel the exhaustion in her voice. She was really not in the mood to check out cars.

“Okay, let’s go home.”

Huo Jinyao looked at her pale face. He didn’t ask about what had happened and took her straight to the car.

Su Qingsang did not speak a single word, she simply stared blankly at the window.

Huo Jinyao would turn around and check on her once in a while because he was worried. “Wife?”

Su Qingsang closed her eyes, reluctant to talk.

Huo Jinyao stopped talking and simply accelerated so they could get home faster.

Sister Lu had already prepared the meal. She greeted them when she saw them coming in.

“Sister Lu, you can leave early today. Clean up the rest tomorrow.”

Sister Lu knew something was wrong when she looked at Su Qingsang. She nodded her head and left.

“Wife, let’s eat first.”

Huo Jinyao helped Su Qingsang sit down at the dinner table. He stood up and got her a bowl of soup when he saw that she wasn’t planning to move at all.

“Lu Jie must have made the stew early. Have some while it’s still warm.”

Su Qingsang held the soup and the warmth of it made her feel a bit at ease. She took a sip and placed the bowl on the table.

“What’s wrong, is it too hot?” Huo Jinyao had been keeping an eye on her. “Let it cool down a bit. How about we eat first? I’ll go get some rice for you.”

“It’s alright.” Su Qingsang got up. “I don’t feel like eating anymore.”

Huo Jinyao wasn’t going to let her leave. As she was about to turn and leave, Huo Jingyao quickly grabbed her hand and got her to sit back down.

“What’s wrong? Even if you have no appetite, just have a little bit. You’ll get sick.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You’ll still need to eat something.” Huo Jinyao was persistent. He held down her shoulders, preventing her from getting up. “Listen, just have a little bit.”

“I told you, I’m not eating.”

After Su Qingsang finished her sentence, she realized Huo Jinyao seemed frightened by her sudden outburst. She took her hand back and looked somewhat rejected.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

“I know.” Huo Jinyao nodded. He looked at Su Qingsang and pulled her to his lap.

Su Qingsang struggled for a while but she was no match for his strength.

“Huo Jinyao, you…”

“What happened?”

“Nothing.” Su Qingsang was reluctant to talk. This was the first time that a patient of hers had committed suicide.

“Wife.” Huo Jinyao held her face in his palm. His dark eyes stared right into her.

“You’re my wife and I’m your husband. There’s nothing you can’t share with me.”

His palm was firm and warm.

His eyes were attentive and sincere.

The grief that she had been suppressing all afternoon was bursting to come out.

“Zhang Mei’s dead.”

“Who’s Zhang Mei?”

“Zhang Mei was a pregnant woman.” Su Qingsang briefly explained today’s incident. “I… I don’t know why she killed herself. She was still young, she could have had more kids. I…”

Huo Jinyao gave her a tight hug and gently patted her back.

“It’s not your fault. Wife, listen to me. This had nothing to do with you.”

Su Qingsang didn’t reply. How could she not be to blame? She could have paid more attention to the woman’s mental health or asked the nurses to keep a closer eye on her. Maybe she wouldn’t have…

“Wife.” Huo Jinyao loosened his grip and rested his arm on her shoulders. He looked at her. “Look at me. Listen, this had nothing to do with you. Stop thinking about it.”

How could she not? She could still vividly remember the image of Zhang Mei lying in a pool of blood.