Chapter 1868 - 1461: My Diao Chan Is Perfect in Every Way!

Gu Changsheng really didn’t get why Qiwowen Du was this depressed, his howling left her a bit dazed.

Even Gu Changsheng hadn’t expected that a man could care this much about his looks; when she glanced over at Qiwowen Du, her gaze couldn’t help but go a bit blank.

"You’re really bullying me! This is bullying! So what if you’re good-looking? Just because you’re good-looking you can bully people?" His appearance, which he’d always been so proud of and which was pretty much invincible in their Nomadic tribe, had been smacked down three times in a row by the people in front of him. Qiwowen Du felt like his whole life and beliefs had collapsed, his worldview shattering in an instant, and those light-brown eyes were filled with a deep sense of grievance.

He really did feel wronged. He was just a bit talkative, and then the Southern Emperor found out he’d been lusting after her subordinates. It wasn’t like he’d done something truly heinous, right?

So how did it end up with him getting struck by lightning?

"Um... don’t be like this, listen to me, it’s their fault..." Staring at Qiwowen Du, who looked like he was about to burst into tears, Gu Changsheng suddenly had no idea what to say. Comforting people was really not her strong suit.

She did want to say the ones at fault were her own evildoer and Shi Wujue, but after thinking it over, she still couldn’t figure out what exactly her evildoer and Shi Wujue had done wrong. Sure, being good-looking isn’t some big achievement, but it’s not their fault they’re good-looking either!

They just couldn’t handle the stimulus Qiwowen Du brought with him and exposed their faces, that’s all...

"I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to hear it! You’re just throwing your weight around! Throwing your weight around!" As the Young Master of the Nomadic tribe, Qiwowen Du had learned the phrase "throw one’s weight around" a long time ago, but he’d never really had a chance to use it.

Usually, he was the one throwing his weight around.

Now that he’d suddenly been on the receiving end for once, the feeling was seriously, indescribably awkward and aggrieved!

Being accused like this by Qiwowen Du, Gu Changsheng was speechless. She shot Yuan Bao a pleading look for help, but under her desperate gaze, Yuan Bao was just earnestly cooking like it was none of his business!

And as for her evildoer and Shi Wujue, those two were even worse, not even giving her a single glance!

This is deadly!

Cause trouble and then act like strangers? When they were taking off their masks just now, how come none of them thought of acting like strangers then?

She’d only spaced out for a second while admiring some handsome faces, and they’d started tossing bombs one after another. After that, they were all acting like nothing had happened, not even trying to help her out of the mess!

"Um, um, Qiwowen Du, didn’t you say you wanted to marry one of my Female Army? Tell me, what kind of type do you like, and I’ll help keep an eye out for you later." Not good at comforting people and with no one to turn to, Gu Changsheng had no choice but to change the subject. "You know, my Female Army—every single one of them is as beautiful as a flower, and their abilities are top-notch. There are countless people trying to propose to them, I just never bothered to answer any of them..."

Getting a wife is a major life event!

Hearing this, Qiwowen Du’s eyes instantly lit up like stars, and he forgot all about his wailing. His light-brown eyes blinked, his mood switching faster than turning a page, and he spoke with obvious shyness, "Um, someone beautiful, pleasing to the eye, gentle, virtuous, who can settle the world with a pen and conquer the four corners on horseback, and also, also... also best if she can cook well. I... I’m a bit picky with food..."

"Beautiful? Pleasing? Gentle? Both civil and martial? And can cook too?" With every word Qiwowen Du added, the corner of Gu Changsheng’s mouth twitched once.

This demand...

Damn!

Gu Changsheng really wanted to send him a single line: Serves you right for being single!

"What, is there some problem?" Qiwowen Du looked at Gu Changsheng with an innocent face, his light-brown eyes blinking away, completely unaware of how sky-high his standards were.

Being stared at like that, Gu Changsheng felt a bit unsure. Damn, this wasn’t picking a wife, this was basically picking a public lover. She figured her Female Army probably couldn’t satisfy this lion’s-mouth demand of Qiwowen Du’s—except for...

"What do you think of my Yuan Bao?" Gu Changsheng’s eyes turned, and she suddenly tossed out a name.

Not far away, Yuan Bao, who was tending the fire, nearly plunged his head straight into the flames when he heard that!

His lady...

His lady was selling him out again!

Qiwowen Du was asking for a wife...

And he...

He was still just a Little Eunuch!

"Who?" Clearly, Qiwowen Du was also shocked; his reaction wasn’t much better than Yuan Bao’s, and his tall figure actually stumbled.

"My Yuan Bao! Let me tell you, my Yuan Bao is my evildoer’s personal Great Eunuch. His looks are pleasing, that goes without saying, and he’s both literate and battle-capable. Most importantly—you saw it yourself—he can cook. If you ignore the gender issue, he fits your criteria perfectly!" Gu Changsheng pointed at Yuan Bao as she spoke, her tone utterly matter-of-fact.

Pleasing looks, Yuan Bao?

Qiwowen Du gave Yuan Bao a glance. With that round body that was basically the same thickness from top to bottom, probably only the Southern Emperor could think that was "pleasing," right?

And she even remembered to add a caveat: if you ignore the gender issue...

But things like gender, can you really just "ignore" them because you say so?

"Southern Emperor, spare my life! Our Qiwowen clan is just a small household, but we’ve already been single-heir for three generations. If the bloodline breaks with me, even if my ancestors turn into Ghosts they won’t let me off!" If his parents found out, they’d cry, they’d definitely cry...

"Ah! That so? What a pity then. The only one in my place who fits your requirements is Yuan Bao. Other than him, I really can’t help you." Gu Changsheng shrugged with a roguish look after hearing that.

"Can we not bring up Yuan Bao? I’m getting goosebumps! Beat me to death and I still won’t marry Yuan Bao!" Qiwowen Du felt that hearing Yuan Bao’s name from Gu Changsheng’s mouth right now was downright horrifying; he really couldn’t take it.

"Qiwowen Du, what do you mean by that? You looking down on me or what? Am I so unworthy of you that you gotta despise me this much? Huh? Huh?"

Gu Changsheng had originally wanted to say something, but before she could open her mouth, Yuan Bao beside her exploded.

Sure, his own lady master’s words were a bit improper, but he was at least the Great Eunuch serving right by his master’s side; when had he ever been despised like this?

This feeling was downright terrible. Yuan Bao felt he had to clear his name.

"You! You..." Qiwowen Du stared at Yuan Bao, one hand on his hip and the other swinging a ladle, and was scared half to death on the spot. "Um, I don’t want one who can cook anymore, I don’t want one who can cook..."

Just that pose of swinging the ladle alone was enough to become his nightmare!

He did not want a wife who could cook anymore!

"My lady, you missed one point!" Yuan Bao turned to his own lady master, waved the ladle in his hand, and said smugly.

This list of requirements Qiwowen Du had for a wife was way too high. What he wanted was obviously a public favorite!

No way his lady master wouldn’t use him as a shield!

Seeing his lady master give him a thumbs-up, Yuan Bao felt more and more that he really was getting smarter!

"So, you don’t want one who can cook anymore, huh!"

"Don’t want! Absolutely don’t want!" Qiwowen Du nodded like a pecking chick.

"In that case, we still have another person on our side. He’s Shi Wujue’s personal attendant, doesn’t look too bad, very ’tactful’—three kicks and you can’t get a fart out of him. I guarantee whatever you say goes, he’ll never talk back, only act!" As Gu Changsheng spoke, she swung her fist.

That was exactly what the Black Man was like.

"Tactful?" Qiwowen Du looked at the fist Gu Changsheng was brandishing and hurriedly shook his head. "Um, I don’t want a tactful one either!"

"As for beauties, you know how it is—beautiful is a hassle. In my Female Army, every Beauty is insanely fierce. Beautiful women rarely stay content at home; they’re a hidden danger. If a Beauty wants to have an affair someday, with your ability, I’m afraid you couldn’t stop her..." Gu Changsheng looked deeply worried for Qiwowen Du.

Qiwowen Du was so triggered by Gu Changsheng’s expression that he quickly blurted, "Then someone not so good-looking is fine too. I’m good-looking enough as it is, no need to gild the lily. As long as she’s presentable..."

However, as he said that, Qiwowen Du couldn’t help feeling a bit guilty.

Especially standing in front of Zhou Mu and Shi Wujue, two men even prettier than he was—his confidence hadn’t been carefully thought through at all!

Gu Changsheng saw his expression and knew exactly what he was thinking, but she didn’t plan on telling him the truth...

Because among the people she knew, there was someone one notch prettier than Qiwowen Du, and that was her own Flower Peacock, Yue Xilou, who didn’t care about Spring Breeze!

But Qiwowen Du was already on the verge of being bullied into tears. She’d just managed to change the subject; no way would she drag it back again!

"Right, got it—my Diao Chan!" Gu Changsheng slapped her forehead and spoke loudly.

Beside her, when Yuan Bao heard his lady master mention the name Diao Chan, his whole body jolted; he nearly toppled into the pot!

Diao Chan?

Diao Chan and Qiwowen Du?

My lady, you can’t just wreck people like this. Qiwowen Du is already miserable enough...

"Diao Chan—now that’s a nice name. Sounds just like a Beauty..." Qiwowen Du propped his chin, looking thoughtful.

"Beauty and all that is just superficial, fleeting clouds on the horizon. You already look this good; if you still obsess over looks, that’s a bit redundant, overkill!" Gu Changsheng clapped Qiwowen Du on the shoulder like a brother, speaking in a coaxing tone. "Listen to me, this Diao Chan is one of my Great Generals. Her looks are, well, barely passable, but her abilities are beyond question. She’s my Personal attendant Commander, and her personality’s endearing—straightforward and cute..."

Blah blah blah—Gu Changsheng’s tongue was like a blooming lotus, practically praising her Diao Chan into a flower.

When Yuan Bao heard his lady master say Diao Chan’s looks were ’barely passable’, he forced himself to hold back several times, but in the end he resisted the urge to expose her.

Diao Chan’s looks were nowhere near ’barely passable’—they were downright unconventional, okay?

With that burly figure and that rough, wild face...