Chapter 355 - An Incompetent Father
Howard's face had turmoil written all over it after hearing what his father had to say.
In the last few minutes, Rutherford had narrated a short conversation with his daughter in the past that he had taken as a joke at that time.
He retold how she had approached him about looking after the family business while her elder brother lived his dream of becoming a knight.
He also vividly recalled how he had not taken her seriously and pushed her idea away by considering it as a childish babble which she would forget with time.
But many months had passed since then and she was still thinking about what she had proposed back then, indicating that she had paid a lot of thought to her idea to support her brother.
'I never would have thought that she was thinking of ways to support Howard to become a knight.' He was both surprised and worried that she might do something that could get her in trouble in the future.
Hence, Rutherford had a purpose for revealing these memories of the past to his son.
Now looking at his young boy, his heart ached as he watched him blaming himself.
Howard's eyes which had just dried up were once again moist after listening to his father recounting that conversation that he had overheard.
'I thought that she wanted to snatch away my inheritance…' He frowned at his own stupidity that had caused this misunderstanding between the siblings.
Rutherford could not bear watching him this way so he shifted closer to him and held him close to his chest.
Howard was surprised to feel his father's warm embrace as they had not hugged each other in a long while.
However, he did not try to escape from it and cherished this moment, glad that he had someone who was not blaming him for the mistakes of the past.
"I hated her for what she did to me."
"For blaming me for all the mischief she made."
"For getting me in trouble every time."
"For wanting to take away what is mine…"
Howard chuckled mockingly as that last accusation had now turned out to be false after his father's confirmation.
Rutherford remained silent and allowed the young boy to let out everything that he had kept hidden in his heart.
He knew that his children were constantly arguing and at odds with each other but that had changed over the course of the last few months.
He believed that they still loved and cared for each other and it was the fault of the misunderstandings and misgivings between them.
Therefore, the doting father only patted his now sobbing son's back as he allowed him to pour out everything in his heart.
"Even when she had stopped causing trouble for me, I continued accusing her and finding fault with her." Howard recalled his actions which seemed absurd right now.
When she had stopped all mischief against him, why couldn't he stop hating her?
Why had he persisted in displaying his anger towards her?
He knew the reason for this all too well.
'Because I thought she wanted to snatch my future position away from me.' A bitter smile appeared on his face as he realized the reason for his actions.
"But she… wants to do this for me?" He muttered while looking up towards his father.
'To help me become a knight without worrying about my responsibilities as an heir.' He bit his lip for his past actions.
"So how can I continue to hate her?" He uttered his final verdict after his reflective moment.
Rutherford was immensely pleased that this might be the beginning of their true relationship as siblings who trusted and cared for each other.
Rubbing his son's head, he ruffled his hair and offered his handkerchief to the snotty-faced boy.
Howard chuckled sheepishly as he accepted it and wiped away the remnants of his stupidity and misunderstandings along with the tears that followed with his self-realization.
"Have you noticed that she has changed?" The father quizzed in an attempt to ease the air around them.
Howard too had noticed this but he had chosen to ignore it in the past but not this time.
"She no longer behaves like a brat." He muttered eliciting a loud chuckle from the man.
Rutherford nodded to agree that his impish daughter no longer caused trouble for the parents and the elder brother.
"Though she still is stubborn and wilful, she no longer throws tantrums or torments you." He added to what Howard had said.
"She truly cares for you and us." He declared with utmost confidence and was sure that he was right.
The nod he received from his son gave him the resolve to move ahead with the conversation that had been his real motive for coming here.
"But at the same time, you and I know that there is no way that she can become the heir in your stead." Rutherford's resolute words shrouded the boy in gloom.
He was well aware of this fact, he knew that he would have to cut off the wings of his dream one day to take over as the next heir.
Nonetheless, it hurt him to think of a future where he could no longer hold the sword and do what brings him real joy.
"The men in our Kingdom and treacherous and cruel, Howie." The Earl reminded him of the circumstances of the society they resided in.
"Can you truly bear to see your sister being schemed and torn apart by those wolves in sheep's clothing?" He gritted his teeth at the very thought of something bad ever happening to his daughter.
He had treated her like the apple of his eye so he was reluctant to agree to her wishes of serving as the stand-in heir for her brother even if she was willing to take up that responsibility.
Howard's eyes widened and a shiver ran down his spine when he imagined the men in this society who treated women as inferior beings torment his sister who cared so much for him.
"No! I will become the heir and I will take up responsibility for everything!" He proclaimed with renewed vigor, this time for the sake of his sister's safety rather than safeguarding his position in their household.
Looking up once again, Howard's eyes shone with an unhidden determination which his father had caught.
"Train me Father, when I graduate from the Academy." He requested to take up the burden of being the heir willingly.
Rutherford was proud of his son for placing aside his selfish desires for the sake of his family and the people who would depend on him in the future.
However, he was also sad and felt like an incompetent father.
'I am putting my son through the same pain that I once suffered.' He derided his inability to change a thing even when he had such great power of the Fief Lord in his hands.
Observing his son's face, a bitter smile appeared on his face as he could imagine what his son might be going through at this moment.
'Forgive me for not being able to save you from your fate.' He apologized as there was no other way to solve this problem.
The father and son shared a smile filled with understanding for each other as the Earl rose from the bed where he had been seated next to Howard.
"I shall leave you alone now." He patted his head and glanced at him one last time before exiting from the room.
He assumed that Howard would need time to be left with his thoughts after what had just happened so he chose to leave the room.
Silence overtook the room once again and the young boy's eyes blurred with the tears that flooded his eyes.
His dream of becoming a knight had just been shattered, awakening him to the reality that laid ahead of him.
Plopping on the bed, he closed his eyes and covered them with his arm to hide the pain that was visible on his face.
Standing outside the room, Rutherford clenched his fists for what he had just done.
'But that was necessary.' He reassured himself though his heart ached for his son.
This needed to be done as after witnessing the encounter between the siblings earlier, he realized that his daughter was a stubborn one.
She succeeded in the trials because she wanted to prove that she was serious about her desire to learn the art of the sword.
Therefore, there was no doubt that she would do what she had said in order to help Howard even if it put her in harm's way.
But as a father, it was his duty to keep them both safe.
One from drowning too deep into his dreams that would only hurt more when he awakens, years in the future, and the other, from the society that was not ready for her and her unique ways.