32 – Tracing Old Steps

I held a silver coin in my fingers. It was a very small and thin thing. A big as a cent. The symbol Xia, summer, is on it.

“Are you still thinking about it?” Fumo asked from his seat on my right.

“A little.” I put the silver back in my storage ring and keep my eyes on the road.

We are currently going to places I went previously as the demonic deer. Back in the truck I project and drive.

“Does this sadness stem from the boy being killed? Or because you know the boy personally?” Fumo start

“More of the latter I suppose.” I answer honestly

“Is that so? So you wouldn’t care if anyone else died?” He ask for clarification

“No. Definitely not. Maybe a little.” I know for certain what kind of person I am

“That is quite unexpected.”

“What can I say? A man can only see as far as he can see and can only care and feel for those within arm’s reach.” I spout the usual excuse I have when I heard some bad news on the other side of the earth

“Those are fine words. But I didn’t mean my words as an insult. It’s just that usually, a cultivator will say that they care about mortal lives.” He try to correct his words

“But not really?”

“Not everyone of course. But usually.”

After that, there’s some silence. I steer the truck following the road and the silence allows me to think on his words. Guess I am lucky enough to meet him, Gujian, and Qingling. Then again, Qingling already advised us to just leave before I insisted on staying. I even need to pull some trick to force Qingling to stay and Gujian also stays for his own reason. But I get his subtext. We did good for staying, if it was anyone else, then perhaps the Kingdom of Jin would have been wiped from the map.

“If it is any consolation, should fate align, you might find the boy’s next reincarnation.” Fumo tries to console

“I don't believe in reincarnation.” I stated bluntly

“You… what!?” Fumo taken aback by my answer

“We Christians don't believe in reincarnation. One life is all we get.”

“So… there’s no cycle of reincarnation? What awaits one after death?” 

“Judgement. Then, you either live or rest in heaven or the presence of God. Or faces hell or Eternal Separation. Depends on interpretation really.” Fumo’s eyes wide, brows furrow deeply as he hears. But he neither approves or is offended by my words. Just sheer disbelief.

“But that kind of judgement just from one life, it is kind of cruel is it not?”

“I mean, maybe? But I can see how the fact that there’s a next life can be used to justify anything. Like killing others is so much easier if you convince yourself that the one you killed has a next life.” 

“That is certainly the case. But still, it is… strange and unnerving that there’s a faith that doesn’t believe in reincarnation.” Fumo admits

“But from what I know about reincarnation, your next life is only determined by what you did in your previous life right? The other previous lives are not counted? So technically, your next life also depends on just one life. At least that is what I get from a series of fantasy books written in my grandfather’s time.” I said what I know about the concept

“It's based on karma. But for if other previous lives are not a factor, this one cannot say for certain. Perhaps later when we are further within our path of cultivation.”

“But then, does the sin from killing become greater then? That someone cut the others' only chance at living.” Fumo asks 

“Yes? ‘Thou shalt not kill’ is part of the ten Commandments. Which you know, always makes me wonder why cultivators seemingly are not caring for mortal lives.” I wondered out loud

“There are many reasons. Mortals and cultivators live very different lives. Cultivators are able to live for centuries to tens of thousands of years. For cultivators, mortals live and die in a blink of an eye that their lives feel insignificant. Even my master tells me to do good but to not get attached to mortals.

Then, there’s less savory reasons. That cultivators likened mortals like ants and as humans wouldn’t mourn for every ant they step upon, a cultivator wouldn't mourn for every mortal death. That caring for mortals creates karmic ties and unnecessary sufferings. Then so on.” Fumo enlightens

“Ah yes, the convenient excuses. I am very familiar with those. So the fact that cultivators are humans too is never considered huh?” I ask and Fumo shakes his head with a frown.

“A world tailor made for psychopaths. Wonderful. Let’s change the subject shall we?”

“Very well.”

Fumo takes a good look at everything inside the truck.

“Is this some sort of immortal vehicle back in your world?” He then asks about the truck

“This? No, every mortal can have something like this and smaller models for personal transportation. This model is made for transporting goods. If you look at the back, an extension can be put to carry tons of cargo.” My mood immediately brightens as he asks about the truck

“Really? Mortals can have these? Your homeworld must be a prosperous one then. So you have something like this back at your home?” He gladly engaged in the lighter discussion

“Not personally. But I work as a driver for a company that moves goods across the continent.”

“Does driving one of these require some sort of education? Or can anyone own one?”

“Mostly only need driving lessons for a month or two. The rules and regulations for driving these things. But usually everyone can own one if they can afford it. Education wise, I should be in some dead end government position somewhere sucking the government money. But every position is filled so I get to drive trucks like this.”

“Interesting, so you have a full mortal life before becoming a cultivator?”

“Oh yea. You guys join or recruit young right? Fortunately I did have a normal mortal life for 29 years.”

“Why fortunately?”

“I dunno. From what I know so far, the dangers and whatnot, I think it would be better if one is an adult when starting.”

“On the contrary, cultivation is better starting young. It is mostly for physical reasons as it is easier to build a foundation at a young age. But, I guess there's merit in your words. Mentally it would be better the older one is, their life experience will anchor them in their cultivation.” Fumo nods

“Then, for this vehicle, if mortals can use it, how does it work?” Fumo tries to steer the conversation back to the lighter side

“It used a refined type of oil. Burned inside the engine to move various components that move the vehicle.” I try to explain

“But for this one, as this is just a soul projection, I compensate for the usage of fuel using my Qi to move the truck.”

“Hmm. If this ‘truck’ is made using some sort of projection spell and it uses Qi in compensation for the fuel, can you theoretically make this truck fly then?”

I slam the brake with both of my feet. My and Fumo’s upper body lurched forward from the sudden brake. Halted by the seat belt. Then we slam back to the seat.

Fuck! I never thought of that! I could have a flying car all this time!

“Sorry about that. I’m not exactly the smartest tool in the shed. Would you mind a little discomfort while I try that?”

“I don’t mind.”

Then I make some preparations on trying to make this truck fly. I think it would expend too much Qi but one way to find out.

“But that idiom, shouldn’t it be ‘the sharpest tool in the shed’?”

“Oh fuck off!”

“Hahaha!”

—

We arrived at the destroyed village. The last trace Qingling found before I disappeared was near a clearing a little east. I spread my divine sense and it looks like there’s nobody left.

“When we arrived, the villagers were already leaving. They thought the place was cursed after a certain someone’s arrival.” Fumo starts

“Understandable.” 

Let’s see here. I try to focus on my connection to the Noosphere. To see if I can see the past like seeing how Senior Sister Zhaoxia wrote her book. It took some time before I could see the faint green then red hue from the center of the village. So I touch it with my divine sense.

“Wuh!” I immediately shuddered as a quarter of all my Qi immediately spent. The vision of some sort of feast happening.

“What happened?” Fumo asks

“Oh right, lemme help you with this.” I project an illusion of what I see so he can see

Now both of us can see the feast that is happening. A line of tables filled with luxurious food. But what makes me cringe is how villagers are gorging on the food. Which is frankly disgusting.

“Parts?” Then came a familiar voice

I looked at the source and it was me! Though I don’t remember any of this. We watch as the chaos ensues. But weirdly the past me only repeating ‘parts’ and going on its way. Then there’s a somewhat familiar face that is helping the villagers to answer as I accost any that is within my sight. I scrutinize the man’s face as he is the only one that is familiar to me. While Fumo is further back, trying to look at things in their entirety.

“Oh hey, I saw this guy at Jinchuan.” I finally remember. He’s the one with…

BOOM!

A sudden explosion sounded, followed by a pained roar. I looked at the source and it is a boy. A talisman paper in his hands. Beside him is the Heaven’s Chosen girl. My heart sank as I somewhat knew what would happen. The man ran as fast as he could towards the two kids. The past followed swiftly through me. The man saved the girl while the boy was thrown to the other side from my charge. His head landed on the wall and broke. Blood swiftly poured from the cracked head.

But what followed made my body cold. The past me is now looking at the dead boy. There’s a feeling that I can stop seeing now. But I need to know what happens. The past me, then pushes its index and thumb claws on the boy’s eyes. Pulling it out before shoving it on empty eye sockets. Before suddenly opening its jaws wide. Pulling a familiar blue glow. The boy’s soul! It is pulled out of its dead boy. Into my mouth.

Then the jaw snapped shut. Ending the vision. I looked for a place to sit. Swallowing the large amount of saliva in my mouth as I sat. Fumo watches me, a little red of fear appears at his emotional halo while his face remains stoic. Calming himself before he decides to approach me.

“Are you… What do you think?” Fumo asks

“I’m fine. It’s just that… I’m sure this is not what both of us expect when tracing my old steps.” I said what in both of our minds out loud

“Should we continue tracing further back?”

“Yes! But uh… let me sit for a while.” at least until the taste of the boy’s soul fade from my mouth

—

“Is it that creature?” A calm male voice asks

“Second level of Foundation Establishment with deer skull as a head. Definitely that thing!” A female voice answers

“It would seem Lingshan Temple doesn’t educate their disciples of their own history! Will the monk be a problem!?” A rough and loud voice adds

“Friends! Friends! Our grudge is only against the Xuan. No need to antagonize anyone else. Although… If he won’t be wise with his decision, then we can’t blame ourselves.” Came a gentle voice

“Besides, we are still too close to the Tianhe sect. And we are here only to confirm the rumors. All we have to do is to wait for Xuan to be far enough from home. Then, with the generous donations of our patrons, we should be able to make short work of him.” He continues

“We all will settle our grudge!

One way or another!”