Chapter 211: A missing wolf

AYLA

It had been decided.

As soon as I was better, I would begin training.

Amara had made sure of that.

Somehow, she had managed to convince Ares and Cassian that training was exactly what I needed. That my headaches, dizziness, fevers, and memory gaps were all signs that my powers were becoming too much for my body to contain.

I had spent most of the night thinking about it.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Soren lying in that courtyard and Amara telling me that I had killed him.

I would never kill Soren, I knew that much.

But the problem was that I could not account for the gaps in my memory.

And then there were the dreams that I could not remember that I had had the day Soren died.

The thought made my stomach twist and there was only one person I wanted to talk to.

Damon.

He was the only one who would understand exactly where I was coming from.

Ares as much as he loved me was a protector and would always want to protect everyone. It was his duty to do that as their Alpha. Cassian, on the other hand was the voice of reason but Damon... Damon would listen to me.

I had asked Astrid to get him for me earlier that morning.

So now I sat on my bed, staring at the door while I waited.

I had already decided that I was going to tell him everything or at least as much as I could.

I needed someone on my side.

Someone who would not immediately assume that I was being irrational simply because I was afraid.

A knock sounded on the door and my heart jumped.

"Come in."

The door opened and Damon walked in.

The moment he saw me, a small smile appeared on his face.

"Hey."

"Hey," I replied, giving him a smile of my own.

He closed the door behind him and approached the bed, his eyes moving over me carefully.

He always did that.

"You wanted to see me urgently?"

"Yes."

I glanced at Astrid who was standing near the window, watching us.

"Astrid, you can leave."

She raised an eyebrow as if to ask if I was sure.

"I will let you know if I need anything." I told her.

She looked at Damon, then back at me before walking toward the door.

The room became quiet as soon as she left.

"What has you spooked, Princess?" Damon asked.

"I think Amara has something planned and she is trying to get me into it."

The smile dropped from his face immediately.

"What have you gathered?" he asked, suddenly serious.

And that is why I loved him... he would always first take me seriously even when what I am saying makes absolutely sense in this case, it was about to.

"She has been trying to get me to train since we arrived," I said. "And I have been stalling majorly, because I do not want to understand the powers in me, Damon. When I happen to use them, it is uncontrollable and scary."

Damon nodded emphatically, his eyes never leaving mine.

"And Soren is dead and she says my magic signature is all over his body. But I would not kill Soren."

"Ayla..."

"No." I cut him off, "I would not kill him no matter what. But I would admit that I have been losing track of time and sometimes I go under for who knows how long without remembering anything."

I watched Damon’s face, waiting for him to look at me the way the others had looked at me... with that careful, worried, we-will-fix-this expression that made me feel like a broken thing being handled gently.

He did not.

Instead he asked.

"Do you think Amara is using magic to make you do things?" he asked. "Like kill Soren?"

"Yes, exactly" I breathed, a relieved smile pulling at my lips.

He understood exactly what I was trying to say!

"I do not trust her either," Damon said, his jaw clenching.

Relief flooded through me.

"Me too." I muttered. "Soren said she is not to be trusted. The day he came to see me, he said that to me and now Soren is dead.

Damon was quiet for a moment.

"Have you told Ares and Cassian about this?" he asked.

"I have tried to but they believe her. They think I am dangerous and should learn to control my powers. And maybe I am. Maybe that is true. But whatever it is she has planned, I do not want to give her that dominion over me."

"Ayla." His voice was gentler than I had ever heard it.

He reached out and took my hand.

"You need to master your powers regardless. I know you are scared... you are afraid that if you learn what you can do, you will become the thing everyone fears."

My throat tightened.

He had hit too close to home.

Damon leaned forward.

"But avoiding it won’t make the power disappear. You have indescribable power, Ayla... life and death, remember? Whether you like it or not... or you understand it or not. A war coming, you need every advantage you can get."

I looked down at our hands and then back up at him.

"I will learn to defend myself," I said quietly. "And I will learn to fight, with or without powers but I will not give Amara what she wants... not until I know what it is."

Damon held my gaze for a long moment then he nodded once, squeezing my hand in reassurance.

"I will speak to Ares and Cassian."

"Thank you, Damon."

"Is there anything else bothering you?" he asked. "Anything at all, you tell me."

I shook my head.

"That is all." I said.

"Then rest and I will be back after speaking to my brothers." He rose to his feet and looked down at me with something soft in his eyes.

Then he was gone.

I stared at the door for a long moment.

There was something else I had not mentioned...

It had to do with Nyx.

Since the night Amara and I had joined Ares’ life to Lucius’, I had not felt her.