Chapter 1745 - 242 - Shredica and Leon (4)

After that awkward moment, I eventually went back out to my room and found Akane sitting there, completely absorbed in a video game as though the strange conversation we'd just had had never happened at all. She looked surprisingly relaxed now, casually holding the controller in both hands while her attention remained fixed on the screen, and somehow the awkward atmosphere she had created earlier seemed to have disappeared almost completely.

Well, almost completely.

I could still feel it hanging around between us.

Maybe that was just because I was the one who couldn't stop thinking about what had happened.

Akane seemed perfectly fine.

She had already gone back to playing her game, occasionally pressing the buttons with an expression that made it seem like defeating whatever enemy was on the screen was far more important than anything else happening around her.

It was honestly impressive how quickly she could switch moods.

She had suddenly told me that it was fine to have sex with her, and under normal circumstances, I probably would have accepted the offer without putting too much thought into it. I was a horny guy, after all, even though I generally looked like a perfectly normal person and didn't exactly walk around advertising that fact to everyone I met.

Besides, I was still young.

My libido was probably somewhere around its natural peak at this age, so having those kinds of thoughts wasn't exactly surprising. If anything, pretending that I never had them would have been more ridiculous than admitting that I did.

Still, getting involved with Akane like that felt wrong to me.

Something about the situation bothered me more than I wanted to admit.

She wasn't simply someone offering sex because she wanted to have fun. She had been going through her own problems, and from what I had seen, she seemed to be getting closer and closer to a point where she might completely give up on herself.

The last thing I wanted was for her to start using sex as another way of running away from everything that was hurting her.

If she genuinely wanted something like that while being emotionally stable, then maybe I could have looked at the situation differently.

Right now, however, I didn't think either of us was in the right state of mind for it.

I wanted to keep things from getting worse for her.

I also wanted to keep them from getting worse for me.

Because the uncomfortable truth was that I wasn't exactly doing well myself.

Just like Akane, I was already walking down my own self-destructive path.

After my sister died, everything had become bleak in a way that I couldn't properly explain. The apartment felt different without her, the days seemed strangely empty, and even things that used to distract me from reality didn't work as well anymore.

Kaori hadn't come to my apartment since then.

I assumed she was probably spending time with her boyfriend.

Honestly, I couldn't bring myself to care very much about it anymore.

I had other things occupying my mind.

I had also found a note written by my sister, and what I read in it suggested that there had been some kind of pressure placed on her at work. It sounded like someone had pushed her into an unbearable situation and somehow forced her toward the decision that ultimately cost her life.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I became.

Right now, more than anything, I wanted to find the bastards responsible for putting my sister through that and make them pay with my own hands.

I had even caught myself thinking about burning down their office.

The thought had crossed my mind several times, and I could already imagine how easy it would be to turn that anger into something destructive.

Still, I didn't want to burn down a building filled with people who might have nothing to do with what happened.

There could have been employees inside who were completely innocent, people who simply showed up to work every day without knowing anything about what had happened to my sister.

I didn't want them caught in the middle of my revenge.

I only wanted to do something to the bastard who was actually responsible.

That was the part I couldn't let go of.

I took a deep breath and forced myself to push those thoughts aside before they could spiral any further.

I was already heading down the same kind of destructive road as Akane.

If the two of us started relying on each other simply because we were both hurting, then instead of helping one another, we might end up dragging each other even deeper.

That wouldn't save either of us.

It would probably destroy both of us.

I didn't want that to happen, especially when it came to Akane.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she suddenly asked, her eyes remaining focused on the game. "Don't tell me you've changed your mind? Sorry, but the deal is off."

"Well, I'm just staring because..." I paused for a moment before glancing toward her shoulder. "The mole on your shoulder is actually really pretty."

The moment those words left my mouth, Akane slowly turned toward me and gave me the most obvious disgusted expression imaginable.

She looked like she'd just heard something so bizarre that she couldn't understand how the sentence had managed to leave my mouth in the first place.

"You're disgusting," she said bluntly.

I wasn't really in a position to argue with that assessment.

Even I had to admit that what I'd just said sounded pretty weird.

I had never been particularly interested in beauty marks or moles before, and yet for some reason, that particular one on her shoulder caught my attention.

I found it attractive.

I had absolutely no idea why.

Maybe my brain simply had strange priorities.

"Well, in any case, you already wasted your chance," she said while turning her attention back to the game. "If you want to get it off, then jerk it off yourself."

She said it so casually that I wasn't even sure whether she was still trying to insult me or had simply stopped caring about the conversation altogether.

I stared at her for another moment before deciding that continuing the subject would probably accomplish absolutely nothing.

Instead, I looked at the controller in her hands.

"Hey, can you pass me one of the controllers? I want to play with you."

"Urgh..." she groaned, sounding genuinely annoyed that I'd interrupted her.

Even so, she eventually grabbed the other controller and handed it over to me.

Well, this was my console, so naturally, she had to share.

I took the controller and sat down beside her before joining the game.

For a while, neither of us mentioned what had happened earlier.

We simply played.

The awkwardness hadn't completely disappeared, but neither of us seemed interested in dragging it back into the conversation.

Honestly, that was probably for the best.

We spent the next few hours playing, occasionally talking about whatever was happening on the screen and complaining whenever one of us made some unbelievably stupid mistake.