Chapter 1701 - 236 - Heroes First Campaign (4)

I looked around me after hearing those words.

The battle was still happening all around us.

People were fighting.

People were falling.

People were killing one another.

The battlefield hadn't stopped simply because I had suddenly become terrified of what I had done. Everyone else was still moving forward, because stopping to think about what was happening could easily mean that they would become the next person lying on the ground.

The people who had already killed someone weren't standing around questioning themselves either.

They continued fighting.

They had to.

I could see Morishita-san nearby doing the same thing, cutting down soldiers one after another while continuing to move through the battlefield.

She didn't have the luxury of stopping.

None of us did.

I shouldn't be stopping here.

I should keep moving.

I should keep fighting.

I knew that much.

My body, however, didn't seem to care what I knew.

"I don't want to... kill someone anymore."

My voice came out quietly, and even hearing myself say those words made my chest tighten.

The feeling of killing another person was completely different from anything I had ever experienced before. It wasn't something I could simply brush aside and forget after a few seconds, because the moment I realized that the person in front of me had actually died because of something I had done, my stomach twisted painfully.

It felt sickening.

It felt like my entire body was rejecting what had just happened.

I felt as though I had been subjected to an incredible amount of torture, except this wasn't something I could simply escape from by closing my eyes. The memory was already inside my head, and I knew it was something that would probably stay there whether I wanted it to or not.

I never wanted to experience that feeling again.

I didn't want to kill anyone anymore.

I didn't care how dangerous the battlefield was.

I didn't care how much everyone else expected me to fight.

I just wanted this horrible feeling to stop.

Ayaka looked at me for a moment without saying anything.

She seemed to understand that telling me to simply calm down wasn't going to magically fix everything. Even she had killed someone, and even though she was managing to continue fighting, that didn't mean the experience had suddenly become easy for her.

Still, she stepped closer.

"Let's get you back inside for now," she finally said.

Her voice was gentler this time.

She reached toward my shoulder and carefully helped me walk, keeping herself close enough to support me while we moved away from the immediate chaos of the battlefield.

I allowed her to guide me.

My legs still felt weak, and my thoughts were still a complete mess, but having Ayaka beside me made things feel slightly more manageable.

For a few moments, I simply followed her.

Then something changed.

"Look out!"

Ayaka suddenly shouted.

I barely had enough time to react before something happened right in front of us.

"Ayaka?!"

She pushed me away.

I stumbled backward as Ayaka threw herself between me and the incoming attack, and for a moment, I couldn't understand why she had suddenly shoved me aside.

Then I looked behind me.

My entire body froze.

Ayaka had been stabbed.

A sword had struck her in the stomach, and she stood there with the weapon still lodged in her body.

"Kuh..."

Her voice was barely audible.

"AYAKA!!!"

The person who had attacked her pulled back with a cruel sneer, seemingly pleased with what he had managed to accomplish.

Something inside me snapped.

The fear that had been overwhelming me only moments earlier suddenly disappeared beneath a completely different emotion.

I grabbed my sword.

I charged.

I didn't stop to think about whether I should fight.

I didn't stop to wonder whether I was ready to kill again.

I didn't even think about the man standing in front of me.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

I screamed as I rushed toward him with everything I had, my grip tightening around the sword while I threw myself into the attack.

The man who had stabbed Ayaka was the only thing I could see.

I swung my sword.

I killed him.

There wasn't any hesitation this time.

There wasn't any moment where I stopped to wonder about his family, his regrets, or what kind of life he might have had before this battle.

My mind didn't have room for any of that.

All I could think about was Ayaka.

"K-Kuh..."

I barely even registered the man I had just killed after the attack was over, because my attention immediately returned to Ayaka.

"Ayaka! Ayaka!"

I rushed toward her and called her name repeatedly, hoping that she could still hear me.

Her eyes were slowly beginning to close, and the light that had always seemed so clear in them was gradually fading.

"Please, Ayaka..."

My voice trembled as I reached toward her.

"Stay with me."

I didn't know whether she could hear me anymore.

Her expression had become strangely quiet, and the strength that had been keeping her upright seemed to be disappearing little by little.

I reached for her hand.

Her fingers suddenly went limp.

Her eyes finally closed.

"AYAKA!"

***

Ayaka was brought to the medbay area, which had been set up close to the battlefield so the wounded could receive treatment without having to be transported too far away from the fighting. She was being treated for her injuries now, while I was left standing outside because there was nothing else I could do except wait and hope that she would pull through.

"You're not allowed to go inside," said a woman who appeared to be one of the doctors working there.

I didn't argue with her.

I simply stayed outside and waited.

While I stood there, completely unable to do anything useful, I lowered my head and stared at my hands. The blood of the enemies I had slain was still smeared across them, mixed together with the blood that belonged to Ayaka.

Ayaka's own blood.

Just looking at it made my stomach twist painfully.