The Villainess and I, her Zombie

The mess that Cranberry and Zombie caused this time wasn't something that could be easily ignored.

Durian Greed was, after all, a part of the royal family,.

He was from a branch, but a branch related closely enough to share the surname.

Cranberry was changing her clothes inside the carriage, cursing herself for not leaving the crime scene immediately, while Zombie was guarding the door while the Dandelions were searching through the debris.

After finding Cranberry's luggage in all the mess, the whole group came up with a rather simple but hopefully effective plan.

To simply play dumb, and act as if they arrived AFTER the explosion and had nothing to do with it.

But for that to be truly effective, Zombie's hand had to be found before anyone else would arrive at the scene...

"...why does she always make me wear such tight...!"

Cranberry was getting annoyed about an I'll fitting piece of cloth and was getting angry enough to voice her thoughts.

"Graough, gra...ough... (I think your mother is extremely jealous about your... development...)"

Zombie heard her and murmured a response that wasn't meant to be heard.

Since they were going to act as if they barely arrived themselves, it was obvious that Cranberry and Zombie shouldn't look like they rolled around in the blood mixed with dirt and dust.

Well, at least that kind of look would be suspicious for Cranberry, Zombie was looking like an actual undead for once.

Though he was using the chance and cleaning himself off with the damp cloth provided by the Dandelions.

"Fuck...! Why are there so many dismembered corpses here?!"

Lairs shouted furiously throwing away a loose leg towards the sector that she had already searched.

"Graough...! (Ah! Sorry! That's on me...!)"

Zombie hurriedly apologized and bowed towards the elven mage.

"Graough... (About twenty or so jumped at me from the roof so I...) Graough! (Anyway, I'm sorry!)"

Zombie groaned lowering his head in guilt and smiled awkwardly.

"..."

Lairs looked at him and squinted her eyes.

"Is it just my fucking imagination or is this overly sexy undead trying to fucking hit on me?"

She backed off and mouthed a question, leaning towards Shanks.

"...wha...?"

Shanks slowly turned his head towards her and blinked, looking as if he was absolutely done with her behavior.

"This is my Zombie."

The door opened and Cranberry descended from the carriage with her arms crossed.

"You had him all this time but still used the small one? Why?"

Lairs shook her head in disbelief.

"...Zombie is my ONLY undead."

Cranberry tapped Zombie's shoulder with one hand and crossed her arms again.

Now she had the attention of every Dandelion but she wasn't going to explain anything further, so in turn, adventurers started ogling Zombie.

"Graough...? (Umm... shouldn't we continue searching...?)"

The blue undead groaned slightly ticked-off, not used to being the center of the attention, and inched towards his master.

On the other hand, Cranberry frowned and walked in front of him, partially shielding him from the keen eyes of others.

"What are you all staring at?"

She raised her head proudly and looked down on the adventurers.

"You. Do you have some clean spare clothes?"

She suddenly pointed at Rotte the warrior and asked.

"Wha...? Uhh... I guess I do?"

He answered surprised by the question and dropped the boulder that he was lifting, almost crushing his own foot.

Then he continued to stand in place.

"Haa..."

Cranberry sighed and massaged her forehead.

"Well, then go get some for my Zombie, would you?"

She sighed as if Rotte was a particularly dimwitted servant.

And funnily enough, Rotte flinched and scuttled away as if he indeed was a servant that was caught red-handed on slacking off, and hurriedly brought a set of clothes.

Cranberry took them and carefully inspected every piece.

"Didn't I tell you to get clean ones? Those reek."

"Pffft...!"

Cranberry clicked her tongue with disgust and Lairs barely held back her laughter.

"Fucking told ya."

Lairs, all red from holding back the laughter, shrugged her shoulders and looked away.

"...! I-it's not like that! Young lady, those are clean clothes that I always bring with me for the official guild meetings!"

Rotte became red and started explaining, while Cranberry was looking at him doubtfully.

"But the thing is I usually transport it below the sack with spare chainmail... What you're smelling is from that, the oil and metallic smell, nothing more!"

He was trying to desperately convince everyone that it wasn't his body odor.

"Everyone who wears chainmail or plate can tell you the same! Uresha, your clothes smell like rust too, right?"

Rotte turned to the bulky woman, looking for help.

"I-I don't stink!"

But instead of giving him the support he was looking for, Uresha hid her face in her hands and shook her head crying pitifully.

"Oi! Why are you bullying Uresha?!"

Shanks instantly got angry and glared at Rotte.

"Uwah, you're the fucking worst, aren't you?"

Lairs glared at Rotte with mischievous eyes.

"Oh well, better this than letting others ogle you whenever they want."

Cranberry, unperturbed by the comedy routine of the Dandelions, shrugged her shoulders and spread the shirt for Zombie to wear.

"Graough! (Thank you, master!)"

Zombie smiled, slid into it, and starting to button it up.

The shirt was too wide but the sleeves were too short.

"Get in the carriage."

Cranberry said while holding up the black pants.

Zombie tilted his head at first but then he nodded and obediently did what she told him.

And Cranberry followed him inside.

But before she closed the door, she leaned out just enough so that her face would be visible and...

"Hmph!"

She smirked mockingly at Lairs.

"...? What the fuck was that about?"

The elf raised her brow and asked but her companions shrugged with confused faces.

There was no need for them to wait for the master and servant to be done dressing up so they get back to searching.

"Is it me or none of those corpses have heads? Is that their fetish or something? Crushing heads?"

Rotte nudged another headless corpse with his foot and asked.

"Those three still had theirs."

Uresha pointed at the corpses of three young maids.

"...yeah, but most of them don't..."

Rotte rolled his eyes and waved his hand towards the rabble.

"Young miss uses a blunt weapon, Zombie uses his legs... Maybe going for the head is the most efficient option?"

Shanks spoke while looking under a large chunk of wall that Uresha lifted for him.

"They aim to kill, and even if the attack aimed at the head won't kill their opponents outright, it will cause a concussion and allow the next hit to finish them. They are both strong and fast enough to pull that off... Nothing here, you can put it down."

He added and shook his head looking at Uresha.

"Kinda fucked up, if you ask me. Intelligent races give shitty experience anyway."

Lairs shrugged, crouching by the pond and inspecting the water.

"I can't agree with judging those two that harshly. Their enemy had a numerical advantage... If I had to fight my way out of the enemy territory, I would also go for the most efficient killing method."

"Shan-shan... Fuck it... You're right, but only if they were the victims and not the fucking aggressors..."

Lairs snorted with contempt at the thief's words, clearly showing what she thought.

"Right..."

Shanks nodded reluctantly while putting his hand in the crevice between the debris.

"Oh...? Tsk!"

His eyes glimmered when he felt something and pulled it out.

At first, the object showed some resistance but it eventually gave up and he got it out.

It was a half-melted arm, it wasn't blue but instead weirdly black and green.

And very very gooey.

/Proficiency level reached 

Skill upgrade

Venom resistance (level 7)

"What the hell?!"

Shanks screamed, hurriedly dropped the arm, and jumped away.

"Graough! (No! Don't touch that!)"

Zombie jumped out of the carriage, reached the rat-faced man in a few steps, and pulled him away from the arm.

"Graough! (Even if my hand is here, don't search this place!) Graough! (No one else should get near here either!)"

He was shaking his head and drawing a big x with his left hand in the air in front of his chest to let them know what he meant.

"What is going on? What the hell is that thing?"

Shanks trembled, looking at the poisoned arm that was slowly melting into a bubbling puddle.

"Oh, right..."

Grumpy-looking Cranberry also get out of the carriage and sighed.

"My Zombie leveled up his venom skill on someone here, probably that guy. Better watch out."

She groaned in a bored tone.

After that, she approached her servant and rolled up his sleeves.

"Haa... At least now it looks intentional."

She nodded to herself looking at the completed outfit.

"Wh-what do you mean level up?! To what?! I gained a level in venom resistance just by holding it for a few seconds!"

Shanks stood up and waved his hands in agitation.

Cranberry made a sour face and scratched her neck.

"It just leveled up. I guess it was something along the lines of..."

Zombie glanced at her, confused.

His master had an excellent memory and no matter how serious the danger she was in, she could always memorize most of the information she saw.

But now she was acting as if she didn't remember something?

She was stalling.

Zombie had no idea why would she was doing that, but she didn't seem too keen on sharing the information with the Dandelions.

"Soul devouring venom."

"FUCKING WHAT?!"

But when she finally said the skill's name, Shanks looked confused, but the one utterly terrified was Lairs.

Which she of course signaled by clenching her fists that were elbows-deep into the muddy pond for some reason, standing up, and cursing loudly.

"Ah! You found it!"

The situation got even more confusing when Uresha clapped her hands happily and pointed at Lairs's hands.

While Lairs was standing up, she grabbed something that was underwater and pulled it out - that something turned out to be Zombie's right hand.

"What the fuck do you mean by saying that this fucker unlocked the fucking soul devouring venom?!"

Lairs didn't seem to notice that she ended their search and instead was focused solely on Cranberry.

"...and is that me or did your tits shrink...?"

The elf added confused, glancing at Cranberry's bust.