The Villainess and I, her Zombie

The morning air was cold and refreshing, perfect weather to help get over a hangover.

Uresha was the only member of the Dandelions that wasn't needing that and that's why she was driving the carriage.

As for the rest of the Dandelions...

"Ure-ure... ugh... fuck... Ure-ure... could you drive a bit slower...? The bumping is making me... Ughueeh...!"

Complaining Lairs managed to roll on the roof and lean her head over the edge at the last possible second before throwing up.

"...here..."

Rotte, who was sitting with his head between his knees, offered the elven mage a canteen with water.

"Oooh! Thank you...!"

Lairs was so grateful that she even forgot to curse, took it from the man, pulled down her hood, and splashed at least half of its content on her head.

"Why do I always end up keeping you two company while drinking after you get rejected...?"

Shanks, laying on his back and staring at the clear morning sky, sighed and reached towards the canteen in Lairs's hand.

"Because you love us and can't bear to watch us suffer alone..."

Lairs shrugged her shoulders and handed him the water.

"...I should really stop being so considerate..."

Shanks groaned after taking a sip.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with you though..."

Uresha glanced over her shoulder and murmured.

"Ure-ure is so kind...! Fuck! Why can't I find a girl who's like that...!"

Lairs complained and laid on her side, putting one leg over Rotte's shoulder.

"And you need to start actually talking to the guys you find atractive."

She added tapping her foot on the warrior's head.

"The ones I like are always already taken anyway..."

Rotte pouted and fell on his side right by Lairs.

"Now-now, baby Rotte... Just... ugh, fuck... I'm going to throw up again... just start a fucking conversation with - are you married? - That's just as good opening line as any other."

The elf affectionately patted the warrior's head.

"How come you don't ever ask that any of the barmaidens?"

Rotter twisted his head and looked at her with doubt.

"He he! It's my special fucking skill! I can always sense whether the girl is in a relationship or not! The single ones have a different aura!"

Lairs declared proudly.

"A shame that this ability doesn't let you sense whether they are into other women or not."

Shanks rolled his eyes and waved his hand mockingly.

"...! Sh-shut the fuck up, Shan-shan!"

Lairs got completely red and cried.

"Hey, guys, try to at least a bit sober. We'll be passing some adventurers in a minute, don't throw up on them."

Uresha turned around and warned them.

"Uuuueegh...! Fuck...! C-can't promise you that, Ure-ure... Is it okay for me to throw up from this side...?"

Lairs pulled back from over the right side of the carriage and pointed at it with her finger.

"...But only if you really won't be able to hold it back..."

The large woman sighed and nodded.

"Same to you two!"

She pointed at Shanks and Rotte.

"Okay..."

"I'll do my best..."

They both answered in dead tired voices.

After a few minutes, just as Uresha had warned the others, their carriage was passing by a group of five adventurers walking in the same direction as they were driving.

"Good morning!"

The leader of the group, a young man with a cheerful smile greeted them.

He was dressed like a light-class warrior, he had a small shield around his left arm and a heated sword on his waist.

The rest of his team, three girls and another man, followed their leader and nodded their heads as a greeting.

"Well hello! It's nice to meet fellow adventurers on the trail."

Uresha smiled cheerfully and slowed down a bit so that their speed would match.

"Forgive me asking, but are you perhaps Uresha, from the Dandelions?"

The young man asked curiously.

"Indeed, I am! Our team is currently doing an escort mission, forgive the rest of my teammates for not greeting you, but they were up all night guarding our clients so they're getting some rest while they can."

Uresha responded without even a second of hesitation and made up an excuse that wouldn't show her team in a negative light to work colleagues.

"Ah! That's not a problem at all! It's so nice to meet our seniors in a place like that! I'm Cherry from the Brave Swords, and those are my teammates. Lychee, Avocado, and the twins, Lemon and Lime."

Cherry introduced everyone in his group and Every Dandelion flinched.

The Brave Swords were the group of young adventurers quickly rising in ranks at an astounding rate.

"...Rotte... Pssst... Rotte...! Isn't that the fucking cutie who you wanted to impress...? Get up and talk to him...!"

Lairs whispered conspicuously towards the warrior by her side, but the man only shook his head panicky, while furiously blushing.

"There's no way I can do that! What if I throw up in front of him or something?!"

Rotte spread flat on the carriage's roof so that he definitely wouldn't be seen.

"Hee... Now I fucking want to check how he looks..."

Lairs smirked mischievously and crawled over Rotte to peek over the edge of the carriage.

"Fuck me...! So you're into the cheerful guys, huh...? Oh? Whoa, the girl who dresses like a rogue is cute! Those twins are not fucking bad either!"

She reported back in a hushed voice.

"But the last fucker seems sketchy... Like, he doesn't look half bad for a dude but... Fuck...! Ugh...!"

Lairs almost threw up at the Brave Swords from above but managed to keep her mouth shut and then gulped back down the escaping stomach content.

"Oh, fuck...! That's so fucking disgusting...! Ughueeghueee!"

She shuddered and threw herself at the other side of the carriage and began throwing up so hard she almost fainted.

"Ah... I think we shouldn't hold you back..."

Cherry flinched and stepped back awkwardly.

There was no way he hasn't heard the sound of vomit splashing against the road on the other side of the carriage and definitely figured out what the truth was about the other Dandelions not showing their faces.

"Well then... Good luck on your mission!"

Uresha forced herself to smile and hastened the monsters pulling the carriage.

The carriage shooted out instantly and in under a minute the distance between the two groups was enough so neither could hear each other anymore.

"...well, that's that for a good first impression..."

Uresha shook her head and sighed.

"Ure-ure... Slow down, I'm fucking begging you...!"

Lairs cried but was ignored.