The Villainess and I, her Zombie

After a few minutes, the giant white wolf disappeared and a tall, platinum-haired elf walked out of the very same bushes that the illusion first jumped out of.

He was by far the oldest looking elf that Zombie had seen in the game world regardless of the playthrough, but that didn't really matter since he still hadn't looked like he reached his thirties.

"Ughhhh... fuuck... I'm way too fucking old for that..."

Though, funnily enough, Olive's behavior certainly suited the elderly man that he most certainly was, as he bend down and wheezed, wiping the sweat off of his forehead both looking and sounding incredibly tired.

"You won't get away with this...! No matter what the two of you are planning it won't...!"

Jackfruit growled furiously, glaring at both the supposed dwarf and the newly arrived elf, surprisingly brave even though Zombie was right beside him with the blade of the scimitar only an inch away from his throat.

"Shut the fuck up and go to sleep, you keen fucker."

*click*

Olive groaned with a dissatisfied expression and snapped his finger at the wounded merchant.

"I...! I... nnnh... zzz..."

The man mumbled as he started dozing off regardless of his agitation and after two nods – a failed attempt to stay awake – he fell deep asleep and fell on his back and his breath calmed down.

"We can now talk, mister dwarf. I intend on healing this man and sending him back wherever the fuck he came from, so could you fucking please get that fucking weapon away from him? I don't need the fucking trouble that his death would bring on my fucking head."

Olive sighed and frown when he saw that Zombie didn't step away or sheathed his sword but instead adjusted his stance to continuously point the weapon at the vital spot of the sleeping merchant.

|What do you think we can tell him?|

Zombie asked internally while continuing to stare at the platinum-haired elf in silence.

|...that's a good question... Olive is a character who has seen a lot and knows even more. I guess you could safely tell him our plan, and even a lot about your reasons for doing this all – just don't mention anything about the second playthrough or the new game. And do not mention me at any cost either. And remember, even though Olive is a bit distant, he surely is someone who puts his family and friends above his own life. Just, try to don't threaten them or it may bring the opposite effect to what you may hope for.|

Patience instructed him calmly.

"..."

Olive raised his brow and discreetly opened his fist he had been clenching all this time.

|Oh-ho! You better start talking, he thinks about taking you down with a fast spell!|

Patience added hastily.

"Haa... Well, since I'll be counting on the cooperation of not only you but the other elves too..."

"..."

Zombie sighed and stuck Kopia into the ground blade first next to the Jackfruit's head instead of sheathing her and even walked a few steps away – which caused Olive to scoff silently.

...and since Zombie wasn't struck down by a powerful fire skill that he remembered Olive was capable of using, it seemed like he was in the clear for now.

"Hey, do you have an appraisal skill or something, it would be much easier to explain some things..."

The short boy asked in a hopeful voice, looking up at the tall elf.

"You've already fucking showed me that you have the fucking superbia skill. The things I want to fucking know is how is that fucking possible and what the fuck an exiled dwarf like you want from my kind."

Olive shrugged his shoulders and shook his head with a bitter expression.

"Well... The appraisal would come in handy right now. You see, I am not a dwarf."

Zombie mirrored Olive's movement and smirked.

"...the fuck you aren't! Then what, a very young-looking halfling?"

The old elf scoffed in disbelief.

"What do I look like to you?"

Zombie responded with a smirk.

"Like a fucking six years old human kid in an oversized armor that you found in a fucking dumpster. Can you get to the fucking point?"

The elf rolled his eyes and groaned.

"The goblins nest."

Zombie corrected him.

"Huh...?"

Olive frowned, taken aback by the answer.

"I'm a six years old human kid who found his armor in the nest of the goblins after baiting them all out and cutting them all down."

Zombie explained with a serious face.

"Don't fuck around with me! Stop fucking kidding around!"

The old elf clicked his tongue and a lick of flame flickered on the inside of his glowing palm.

"Fine. In truth, I'm six years, one month, and fifteen days old, but that sounds way too childish."

Zombie spread his arms and shrugged his shoulders innocently.

"With an appraisal, you would see that I'm not lying about being a human. You would have also seen that my level, skills, unlocked affinities, and titles, are all very inappropriate for someone my age. You would then ask me what the fuck is going on, and that I'm actually destroying my body and ruining my future, at which I would respond that there is someone I wish to protect at any cost..."

The boy explained without breaking eye contact with the old elf.

"But since you either didn't want to use it or simply don't have it, we are stuck in this really awkward situation."

He added with a soft sigh and smirked.

"Like fuck we are. I thought that maybe you really want to become our ally but you're just some..."

Olive shook his head and said in a disappointed voice as his right arm got engulfed in a bright flame before he took a step forward.

|GET AWAY FROM HERE!|

|Not yet.|

Patience shouted inside Zombie's head, but the boy didn't even budge.

"..."

Suddenly the elf had stopped and furrowed his brows as if he realized something.

"...your level, skills, unlocked affinities, and titles... What about your stats wouldn't surprise me?"

Olive asked slightly curious.

"Because I never trained them. They will be reset once I will be turned into an undead in around a year or so."

Zombie answered right away without even a hint of hesitation.

"...why would you want to get turned into an undead...?"

Olive raised his brow, without putting down his flaming hand still ready to strike.

"Just because I don't want the world to end. You know, I really don't wish to see the message about the wheels of fate starting to turn or whatever, preferably ever."

Zombie sighed, thinking back about the messages that showed up for Cranberry in the first playthrough and which he now knew were the sign of the story following the incomplete bugged-out route.

"!!!!"

And his words worked perfectly, with the wide-eyed elf deactivating his offensive skill.

"Wait... You fucking know about the Prophecy of the Eternal?! Oh, for fuck's sake! Of fucking course! You have the superbia skill even though you are not from the Pride family, are you?!"

Olive gasped, and there was no trace of his previous doubts or aggression.

|Huh... I see that I could have started with that.|

|One of these days you are going to make me pass out from worry, you know, you lucky bastard...|

Zombie laughed internally which was immediately followed by Patience's relieved complaint.