The Villain Wants to Live

Chapter 115: Sophien (1)

Julie woke up on a hospital bed in the Imperial Palace. Emperor Sophien was by her side, and behind her was Keiron, as always.

“…”

Julie was confused for a moment, blinking as she regarded them.

“…It’s not just an injury. It’s a curse, a very evil one.”

Sophien explained, her voice as dry as the sand of the desert. Julie, who was trying to raise her torso, stopped as pain shot through her.

“Ugh!”

“It’s okay. Lie down.”

“No. I-“

“This curse. I heard that you received it while escorting Deculein.”

“…”

Julie didn’t say anything. Sophien scanned her body up and down.

“I also suffered from a terrible illness at one time. It was a terrible life. It was so painful that even my suffering started to feel dull… knight, look into my eyes.”

“…”

Julie gazed into the Emperor’s eyes, but Sophien’s pupils were lifeless. There was no energy to be found within them as Sophien grinned.

“You will see it too. I overcame one disease, yet another disease is still eating me. The disease is called boredom.”

After saying that, she placed a hand on Julie’s forehead. Vital energy began to seep into her body.

“Your Majesty. This is…”

“It’s a rune I learned from Deculein. It’s a healing spell, but a curse isn’t the kind of thing that I can heal. It’s good for temporary symptom relief, that’s all.”

“Oh!”

Julie quickly sat up. Watching her hurriedly prepare the proper knightly courtesies, Sophien shook her head.

“If you push yourself any further than that, it is not polite but ignorant. Be still.”

“Yes.”

“Also, you’re not completely cured. That curse will one day kill you.”

“…Yes. I know.”

It was a curse that gradually intensified. The heart-piercing pain it caused was now a normal morning routine.

“Looking at you reminds me of my old self.”

As if in the understanding of her pain, Sophien murmured as she looked at the moon outside the window.

“The me back then, and me now… maybe I want to start all over again. Without knowing anything. Forgetting all my memories… that this life is ruined.”

Julie was taken aback by her sentimental complaints.

“Don’t say that. It’s not ruined, Your Majesty.”

Sophien’s gaze returned to her.

“Your curse is incurable. The situation is similar to the old me. Do you not want to start over? Haven’t you considered something like, ‘If only I hadn’t escorted Deculein back then?'”

“…”

Julie shook her head without saying a word.

“Why?”

“Because that choice was also mine, and it’s my life.”

“…”

A truly knight-like answer. A short silence settled in the hospital room.

“…Is it?”

Sophien nodded a couple of times before offering her a small smile.

“You are different from Deculein.”

“…Is that so?”

Julie thought of Deculein, feeling somewhat depressed.

“Yes. You’re different. Deculein lives as if there were no wrong answers in his own life. He does not admit to them, as if his way is always the right answer.”

“…You are right. The Professor does live that way.”

“But if you take even the wrong answers as your share, as you do, then the more wrong answers you will have, and the more wounds you will inevitably receive. Then you die.”

Sophien spoke sarcastically, but Julie’s answer was a warm smile.

“Your Majesty. Even if a knight is riddled with wounds, the knight lives on. And I am a knight.”

“…”

Sophien glared at Julie. She appeared to believe that, so she felt dissatisfied.

“Right. You are a true knight, but there are not many knights like you.”

“Thanks for the compliment.”

“It’s not a compliment. Rest and go.”

Sophien stood, flapping the hem of her coat. Julie sat up and politely bid her farewell as Keiron closed the door behind them.

Slam-!

Afterward, she silently stalked down the hallway.

Stomp- Stomp-

“…Your Majesty. Do you want that?”

Sophien stood a bit taller as Keiron addressed her.

“If you are looking for a fresh start, you can have it.”

“…”

“I can make that happen.”

Eventually, Sophien turned to Keiron. Bowing his head, he continued.

“Your Majesty deserves to be happy.”

“…Hmph. Who said that?”

“Anyone will say this. If they know Your Majesty, who has died dozens of times, suffered for decades, and committed suicide over and over… anyone would say so.”

“What?”

Sophien felt embarrassed. Keiron was usually statue-like, to the point the Imperial family even named him the Statue. Keiron even referred to his multiple selves as such.

“Keiron, you do not know me.”

“I know a little bit.”

Sophien frowned.

“Even if it were you, you are arguing too emotionally for something impossible now.”

“It’s not something impossible. Your Majesty, the Altar is in the basement of this palace.”

Keiron’s eyes flashed with a knight’s will.

“They are trying to gather and use Your Majesty’s powers. If we use it against them, you can go back.”

“Can I go back?”

“Yes. Your Majesty may be happy too. You can forget everything and start fresh in a new world.”

The Devil’s Mirror wanted Sophien, and the 「Altar」 was collecting Sophien’s power from the world in the mirror. Keiron thought of the possibility that if those two, who seemed to be in a symbiotic relationship, could be used in their favor, a new world, that is, a completely different past, could be built.

It was inspired by Deculein’s words, saying that the Devil’s Mirror wanted to become a world, but it was a completely different idea from what Deculein had in mind. In Keiron’s thoughts, the Devil’s Mirror would become a new world, and the Sophien of that world would return anew, forgetting all the memories of this life.

If this life were ruined, they could plan for the next one.

“What if history just repeats itself?”

Sophien met his gaze.

“I will not let that happen.”

“…”

…The conversation stopped. No, time appeared to have stopped, consumed by a suffocating and stagnant air. In that silence, Sophien turned around.

Stomp, stomp.

That meant that she ordered Keiron to leave without a word, and Keiron, who understood her meaning, was frozen more still than a statue in the middle of the hallway.

* * *

It was a night. Returning to the office of the tower, I was engrossed in my quiet thoughts.

“…If I could understand the Devil’s Mirror.”

I looked in the mirror on the desk. I activated [Understanding] on that simple mirror to deduce its nature and properties. When the sand was heated to a high temperature — of course, several other processes remained in between — it would turn to glass. Coincidentally, earth and fire were my attributes.

“I need a little more information.”

I stood. Magic books related to glass and mirrors could be found in the Magic Tower library. I made a beeline to the elevator.

“Ugh!”

As I reached it, someone let out a strange sound.

“…”

It was Epherene. With a face that told of great exhaustion, she was holding a cup of coffee in one hand. She took a step backward without even greeting me.

Ding-!

The elevator arrived.

“It doesn’t seem that it’s working out the way you thought it would.”

“N-No. I just need a clue… then I can.”

“…”

“I can, um, anyway.”

She was murmuring. As I watched her, I suddenly remembered what Ihelm had said.

—Did you feel sorry for Luna’s daughter, who’s father pretended to love her?

Maybe… he was right. Epherene, she was strangely pitiful to me. Since Deculein had little to no feelings of compassion, this was probably a piece of Kim Woojin.

“W-Why?”

As such, there were only a few people in this world who made me feel anything from Kim Woojin. So far, there were only three of them: Sylvia, Epherene, and Yeriel. Julie was the exact opposite, serving as the strongest proof of me as Deculein. She was bondage formed from the emotion I could not deny.

“Confidence and commitment. Those two virtues suit you.”

“…Yes?”

“Try endlessly. And, believe in the future you.”

“…”

Epherene’s eyes nearly rolled out of her skull as I stepped out of the elevator.

Ding-!

I stepped out onto the first floor, right into Julie.

“Professor.”

“…”

Julie greeted me awkwardly. She was still wearing light armor, as she always did. I approached her.

“Julie. Stop escorting me now.”

“No.”

“What-“

“I’m sorry.”

“…”

That was enough to shut me up entirely.

“I know that I have a lot of minor problems these days, which is detrimental to you as I’m your escort.”

“…”

“I apologize.”

I was dazed for a moment. But soon, I understood what she meant, and I clenched my jaw involuntarily.

“Also, in the not-too-distant future, I failed to protect you.”

Countless words ran through my mouth and died upon my lips. A certain cry swelled from the bottom of my chest.

“In these eyes, I still can see you dying. The sword that pierced your heart…”

Julie bowed her head. I couldn’t understand her.

“Professor, I understand you are disappointed with me.”

Why was this woman, who could not love herself, so foolish?

“I admit all my faults.”

I wanted to say it wasn’t her fault. We just shouldn’t be together.

“However, please, let me complete this escort mission.”

Julie continued firmly, grabbing the sword around her waist.

“I will work even harder. Even if my body is broken, I will protect you. I’ll make sure you don’t get tired-“

“Julie.”

I didn’t want to hear anymore.

“I don’t need it.”

“!”

Julie’s breathing was loud. She bowed to hide her sorrow.

“Go now. I have work to do in the Magic Tower library today.”

I loved this foolish woman. I hated to deny this crazy feeling.

“I’ll be waiting-“

“Go.”

“…I apologize.”

So, Julie left. She opened the door of the tower and trudged down that long road. She wasn’t healed yet, so she went with staggering footsteps.

“…”

As I watched her, I leaned my body against the wall. I placed my hand on my heart as Deculein’s echo spread throughout my body.

“What’s wrong?”

Then, I heard a voice from somewhere. When I turned around, Epherene was standing there.

“…I will help you.”

“…”

“Aren’t you here to investigate something?”

“…”

“I’m Epherene, your teaching assistant.”

Didn’t she see their encounter just now? Or was she pretending she hadn’t? I let out a small sigh.

“Do you have that much spare time?”

“Oh, that… Honestly! …I can’t do it. How can I understand all 30,000 pages in one month? That’s impossible.”

“…”

“Isn’t that why you gave it to me?”

I walked silently to the underground library. Then, Epherene quickly followed behind. I didn’t bother to slow down. I didn’t even bother to show that I noticed her side-eyed glances over and over again.

…Three hours later.

“Are these what you wanted?”

Epherene was a moderate help. There was nothing more troublesome than finding the book you wanted in the Magic Tower Library, where hundreds of thousands of books were scattered about.

“Yes.”

I ordered everything related to mirror magic. The Devil’s Mirror was also a mirror, after all. So, understanding the properties of mirrors as a whole would help.

“Do I have to bring you anything else?”

“This time, it’s glass. Anything related to glass.”

“Yeah, yeah~.”

Glass, glass, glass, glass. Epherene muttered that to herself and went to find more books as I read.

…Another three hours passed like that. When morning arrived-

“Professor Deculein.”

An Imperial Knight who appeared out of nowhere in the library called out to me in a solemn voice. I continued to read without paying them any mind.

“Professor Deculein.”

“-Ugh?!”

The second call was in a slightly louder voice. Epherene, who had been sleeping on the desk, woke up, a string of drool connected to her face. Only then did I look back at them.

“This is a call from Her Majesty the Emperor.”

* * *

…Sophien grew accustomed to everything easily. Easy to learn, easy to master. Neither this world nor its principles were so difficult. She could figure out the majority of them with just a little squint. Because of that, she had a habit of not thinking too deeply. The more she thought about it, the more troublesome it became and the easier it grew.

“…”

But today, she was touching her hand mirror, thinking about ‘that’ after a long time until morning rose. She was now waiting for someone to arrive, sitting in her bedroom.

Knock, knock-

Sophien opened the door with Psychokinesis. As expected, Deculein was standing there.

“You’re here. Come in.”

“Yes.”

Deculein took a step into the bedroom, and her servants closed the door behind him.

“Sit down.”

Sophien pointed to a seat beside her bed. Deculein sat down without a word.

“…”

“…”

Sophien poured coffee into a teacup for him, and Deculein sat up straighter. He now looked like the personification of etiquette.

“Deculein.”

“Yes.”

“Today, I did some thinking.”

It was because of Keiron. Keiron, that damn bastard’s words made her try this naughty thing called ‘thinking.’

“Thinking, I found a memory in the mirror. To put it bluntly, it’s like finding a single, specific grain of sand in a sandy beach.”

Sophien looked at Deculein as she sipped her coffee.

“A distant memory of mine. There was a cheeky guy who introduced himself to me as a professor.”

Deculein’s eyes were straight as always; that’s why she liked them. He did not bow down, was not afraid, and was not bound by anything but showed his honest self.

“He said he would stay with me and watch my process to the end, but he never came back a second time.”

Sophien let out a small sigh.

“If he were there. If only he had come as promised.”

“…”

“I would have endured.”

Deculein closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them. That reaction was enough.

“Keiron told me to remake the world.”

“…Did he?”

“Yes. In that world, I would know nothing, so he said I could be a new person. I would forget all the pain I had been through.”

“…”

“It was a very appealing proposition.”

Deculein listened quietly.

“…Keiron’s meaning is hypothetical. The way he thought of me is touching. But… if I do that.”

For some reason, he already understood what Sophien wanted to say.

“Isn’t that losing to the demon?”

A cold smirk twisted the corners of Sophien’s lips.

“I don’t want to lose. To anyone.”

Then she looked at her cup of coffee. The calm surface reflected Sophien.

“Your fiancée, Julie, said that even that wrong answer is her life, while you live as if you were always in the right. Countless others in this world write their answers besides the two of you.”

Sophien raised her head again.

“There is no one who can change an answer that has already been submitted.”

“That’s right.”

“Yeah… Deculein. I’m getting sleepy now.”

Her eyes were slowly closing. It was the price for being immersed in her thoughts for so long.

“Now, when I sleep, the door to the basement will open.”

Sophien half closed her eyes. Through them, Deculein’s face was visible. A cold face that didn’t appear able to sleep at all.

“Please. Because there was no one watching over me, I was in agony.”

She spoke frankly.

“Would you be able to watch me and my countless deaths… in that basement? Can you stay in my memory…?”

Deculein answered without hesitation. He would make sure he did. But to Sophien, his tone was already hazy. Slowly, her consciousness was falling.

“It may be tens of years, or it may be hundreds of years… even I don’t know what kind of life I led. Are you still okay…”

Deculein’s voice reached her.

—Yes. As promised last time, I will accompany Your Majesty through every process. No matter what.

A voice that spread as if submerged in water.

—And at the end of that, I’ll come back here again.

However, those words followed with certainty.

-I’ll face your Majesty.

Sophien responded with a yawn. As she slept like that, Deculein watched her silently and stood up. Now, it was time to truly keep his promise.