Arc 4 Mecha Fairy and the Scrubs, Chapter 15

Arc 4 Mecha Fairy and the Scrubs

Chapter 15

Everything moved at the same time. Sunshine's knights materialized in front of me, blocking out that half of the room and we ran. I got to the window and a rainbow went to the ground below, everyone else was using it like a slide. I dove down it and felt the weightlessness of the thing carry me. If I was not scared out of my mind I might have enjoyed it. An explosion rang out overhead and the rainbow vanished, consumed by fire. There that bastard stood, thrusting his hips at me. I think he's got the hots for me. Don't you spin your dick at me! Why do all the crazies come out of the woodwork to find me? Do I have a sign on my back? No, it has to be a fucking weirdo magnet or something.

“Chief, shoot him!”

“That is Blaze Runner!” Shouted Chief firing off the cannons.

That bastard was quick, he ducked out of the way avoid the spray of white foam. He took off across the roof, levitating by heating the air and floated away. Explosions started following in his wake. Shit this looks like it is about to get a lot worse. Chief positioned his suit like a turret on the top of the fire engine and Disk spun it around to chase after that psycho. My jet fired up, Glide was already zooming after him and the car sized butterfly that Sunshine was riding flapped, sending wind gusting. The Fire Team was on damage control attacking the fires like a fat kid in a cake shop. We set out to stop a mad man from burning down the city.

So that is Blaze Runner. I remember this rapist scum from the briefing. Really, really we gotta fight a high ranker? Well I guess he is my level, but he is literally the bane of my existence. If I did not have this thermal suit that negates and can withstand temps up to 1,500 degrees Fahrenheit then I would be running away screaming right about now. Although will it be enough? I heard this guy makes lava so am I up shit creek here? I certainly did not expect to spend my day chasing a naked arsonist around the city. Is this shit normal? I appear to be the only one weirded out by this.

He sent fireballs soaring at Sunshine and she retaliated with pink clouds that snuffed out the flames. I was about to go over there and be her damned shield, but it appeared that she had it under control. Nothing got anywhere near her with those pink clouds acting as a wall. She looked a bit angry, throwing things at him, kittens, puppies and bunnies. She was trying to smother him in cuteness. He roasted them all and their shrieks filled the air. Not the kittens! You monster! Although who is the real monster? I mean she is throwing small furry animals that just want to cuddle to a fiery death. Sunshine might actually be really fucking scary.

Glide tried to get in close, but every time he did the shell of embers would light up, sending him flailing away to avoid being burned to a crisp. He did not look too hot though, not really much he can do here. Water shot at Blaze Runner from the streets below. It would glance off leaving molten lava cooling down below. I banked towards the front, looking for an opening. Gravity Squeeze gave it to me. A car flew straight into that crazy guy forcing him to stop for a moment. His shield melted down the car and I tackled him from the opposite direction. I had noticed a flaw in his defenses. He could only guard one side at a time.

I mashed him into the molten metal and he wriggled his way out of my grasp. Damn it! I forgot he is fire proof. Fuck, he was a slippery snake. I lost him for a moment until his junk slapped against my helmet... he was humping my face! Get your hairy balls off of me! I grasped at him and he left a streak of sweat across my visor when he escaped. No, NO! All over my antenna, I can smell it. It was so foul, doesn't this guy bathe? Gross, gross, hobo dick cheese, oh god! Fucking hell I am going to kill this bastard! I am going to rip your balls off and shove them down your throat! My mandibles were grinding together and my fists tightened.

I raged, “You little bitch get back here!”

That freak was skipping away. I lunged at him and he twirled out of the way. I think he is a ballerina or something. He blew a kiss at me and winked. My tongue writhed in my mouth holding back a flood of stomach acid. I gulped it back down, shaking my head. Every step I took became more powerful until I was charging him in a blind fury. Fire grazed me, but the suit deflected it. He tried to attack my face again and my hands grabbed his legs. I spun around holding him out. The lava oozed over me as he formed the shield on top of us. The arms were covered in a thick layer, super heating the suit around me. Sub was about to lose her shit. It warped and bent, searing my carapace. I shrieked. It burns, it burns! Oh Swolix, I am melting!

'Run, run, run, run! We are going to die if you keep this shit up you fucking idiot!' screeched Sub, clawing at the walls inside of my head like a terrified animal.

Owe, that fucking hurts! Knock it off you are not helping. We were in too deep and it would be impossible to stop now. I was already trapped in here with him. We picked up speed in the rotation and he was screaming when I let go. He flew into the sky and I stood there panting. Lava sloughing off the outside of my suit, aided by my hands scraping. I had to get it off, I needed to get it off. My whole body was overheating and venting did not help at all. I hope he dies from the fall. I poked at the bubbling carapace. The squishy flesh beneath had already lost all the nerve endings, so it just felt cold and numb. How long is this shit going to take to heal? Something smells like lobster. Where is the butter when you need some? Seriously, where is that smell coming from? It is making my mouth water. Oh fuck, it is me! I almost threw up, never going to look at lobsters the same.

I took a deep breath, ignoring the fact that I was about to eat my own arm. A glance down at the street and turned into something more. There was this weirdo down there. He was wearing a tight American flag print leotard over some seriously hunky muscles. That is pretty damned distracting. There was a wrestler mask with the same design hiding his face. He roller skated toward me despite the hellish inferno and buildings melting. Why is he roller skating... for that matter who the fuck is this guy? I had almost forgotten, Bronsonman. Get the hell out of here it is dangerous!

I screamed down at him, “Dude get lost, you are going to get hurt!”

“Bronsonman never run from fight!” he yelled back, lifting up a car and hurling it past me.

I fell flat on my ass and stared as the Jeep Grand Cherokee went soaring by, crashing into Blaze Runner. Damn it, I forgot he can levitate! I don't know who you are Bronsonman, but I owe you one. He was hefting up another car, this one was a Honda Civic. He threw it and jumped up beside me, lending a hand to pick me up. Oh my. His hands were very large and it would be true what they say about men with large hands, I can verify from the view I was getting. This guy is a stud muffin. Focus Vesper we need to get rid of that freak and then we can try to hit on the hot guy. I mean we smell like a steamed lobster so we got that going for us.

Everyone was gathering around. More Firefighters were pouring into the area and getting ready to tackle this sick bastard. We had him cornered, but he did not seem to care. It seemed like he only had eyes on me. Don't you lick your lips at me! Gross he wants to do me. I will do you with my fists! The hoses honed in on him before firing and he jumped, dodging. Quick as ever. This guy is really starting to get on my nerves. He must be related to a cockroach. Bronsonman skated for a moment, picking up speed before lunging at Blaze Runner. He twisted mid air, kicked out, exerting all of his weight and momentum into his feet. The blow broke through the molten shield and I stared as roller blades grazed that guy's face. Bronsonman kept going from the power of the kick and soared away landing on a building across the street. Holy shit that guy is intense!

Blaze Runner held his face with wild eyes. Uh oh. He came back soaring towards me, hard as ever... no harder than before. Oh fuck me! A cloud of pink butterflies ignited when they got near him, turning him into a comet of lust. A car melted as it smashed in from behind him. It was not enough! He is going to get me.

“Chief!” I screamed.

“We got him,” buzzed over the com.

That bastard got shot from all sides by foamy suds that extinguished his flames. There were four other fire engines blasting him with all that they had. He got dragged down to the ground. Even after he was pinned they kept dousing him until their tanks were empty. Finally it was over. He lay sprawled and I approached ready to restrain him. When I got within five feet though a flicker of fire burst at his feet and he lept at me.

I stared in horror as he flopped through the air. My hand thrust out, punching him right in the jewels. His face scrunched up like a prune and a little squeal escaped his lips, his soul had just gotten sucker punched. Tears flowed down his cheeks from his bulging eyes. I grabbed him by the neck, choking him and thrashing him like a rag doll. You son of a bitch! This is for the kittens! This is for cooking me like a crab! Bottom righty socked him in the groin again and then clenched down on his sack. Blood oozed between my fingers. His scream was of a dying man and his face went blue. He slumped and I tossed him to the side like trash. It was all I could do not to stomp his dick into the ground. Granted after those hits he won't be having kids. Take that you rapist, piece of shit, mother fucker!

I could still smell that foul stench though and there was blood on my hands. Chief sprayed me down. The suds got into my wounds and I writhed on the ground. Fuck it hurts.

“You alright?”

“That bastard tried to cook me.”

“Well I think you got even with him. Try to tone it down next time though.”

“What?”

“No man should ever have that happen to them.”

“Well he should have thought about that before trying to fuck my face,” I growled back.

Him and the other guys were looking at me like I was some monster. They had pained expressions and guarded their junk after seeing what I did to him. What? He deserved it. Don't look at me like that. I won't do it to you guys.

Glide was apprehensive, “You should hold back a little.”

“It is not like I killed the guy.”

“I bet he wishes he was dead right now.”

“You fucking serious?” I snarled at him.

“He did wrong, but, but fuck man did you have smash his balls? Wasn't it enough just to punch him? I mean he was down for the count. I can sympathize with the guy.”

Sympathize? Really, are you fucking kidding me? That son of a bitch was going to have his way with me. Although how would he get into my suit? He would probably just dry hump me. Wait why am I trying rationalize some psycho? He diverted the damned topic. I will give you something to sympathize about! I was about to yell at him when the wind gusted and Medavac's drop ship hovered over heard. It descended and his team poured out of the back. He stepped out looking the place over, gave one look at the poor sod I had destroyed and started whistling.

“Nothing like Napalm in the morning. Looks like something I seen in the war. Mashed some poor man's nuts to dust. Who did this war crime?”

“Swolix! Medavac not you too.”

He chuckled and pat me on the shoulder, “I was kidding, there is no such thing as crime in war. You do what has to be done.”

“This is not a war,” said Fire Chief crossing his arms.

“Oh, but it is. A war on crime. You can't just go easy on these thugs, they will do it again if you don't drive home a point.”

“So I did good?” I asked.

“No!” resounded Chief and the other guys, but Medavac placed his hand on my head. I was a bit confused. Did I fuck up or not? “You did good. This sick bastard won't be out on the street again and even if he is he won't be too peppy to try shit.”

“I... I did not go too far?” my voice stammered and I looked between all of them. “I mean, I was really mad and I should have held back.”

“Well seems you taught him a lesson he won't forget any time soon. Just remember to hold it back next time.”

I nodded and Sunshine came riding in, “Nee-sama we did it.”

“What do you mean we?” I gave her a hard look. “The only bros who had my back there was Chief and Bronsonman.”

“We all helped. Gravity got him with a car. I was containing his fire. You held him down. Astro was distracting him. Chief was doing damage control.”

“I guess,” I moped. All the guys were turning on me. Alright I may have gone too far. “Look, I am sorry ok. I went too far. But hey if some greasy bastard tea bagged you, I would like to see if you kept your cool.”

They were all looking at me with suspicion, “Did he give you the bat wing, the brain?” asked Squeeze.

“No, he ground his sweaty balls all over my face. He even got my antenna. I could smell it,” I shuddered with revulsion.

Disk and Glide threw up. Squeeze closed his eyes for a moment and shivered. All three then nodded and said, “Seems well warranted then.” I stared at them, tilting my head a little. Well they just went up a little in my book. Sunshine looked lost and I was not about to clue her in.

Hmm... something seems missing. I looked around can't quite place my finger on it. Bronsonman! His jaw must have been chiseled by Michelangelo himself. Those man muscles too. Did I just let a wild man beast escape? Where the fuck did you run off to you rugged bastard? I want to thank you. I want your number! Is there like a signal fire I can light at night to lure you out? No matter where I looked though he was gone. I clicked my tongue. I will get you next time. Well I know what I am diddling to tonight. Sub was in agreement.

Medavac's team carted away that crazy guy and the various people who had been caught up in the explosions. We were left to put out the remaining fires. The whole damned block was slowly coming under control. Another two fire teams had arrived on scene, in total there were seven. Their quick and methodical work was already beating back the worst of the flames. Chief was coordinating everything, if not for his decisive judgments I doubted we could have done much here. I held some hoses and started directing the streams to prevent the spread.

We more or less had it contained, despite my lack of knowledge I felt useful here. Glide swooped around, guiding people away from troubled areas. Squeeze lifted debris and Sunshine's glowing knights were scouring buildings for anybody that might be trapped. Disk was well, more or less useless here, but he was driving one of the fire engines. Not really his fault just not suited for this. Medavac and his crew returned after dropping off the patients to help out.

Together we quelled the raging inferno. It took another two hours even with all of that help and super gadgetry. Luckily we had caught it before it could get going. I was exhausted, physically and mentally. All that I wanted to do was just lay down and sleep. This job was a lot harder than I would have thought. My respect for Firefighters had increased vastly, it was already substantial, but now I truly understood exactly how tough it was. Property damages were restricted to only a three block radius and surprisingly only eight people died. Three of which were from the initial fire. The others did not stand a chance and were consumed by the explosions. It could have gone a hell of a lot worse. If that fire had gotten away it could have swept out across the city. I had to look at it positively, those poor souls were acceptable losses. I had already seen a bit of death first hand, it felt like a little piece of my heart was getting chiseled off every time. May Lord Swolix have mercy.

The feeling had come back to my top arms at this point, it hurt like hell. Fire bad, Vespidian no like fire. It is not healing properly either... looks like I am going to have to rip the skin off and let it grow back. Sub was staring longingly at the white, seared flesh. What the hell are you looking at so intently? She was drooling.

Looks tasty. Smells good too.

‘You serious? Sub I am not going to eat myself.’

We both know you have eaten yourself out many times before. It is such a waste just to throw it away. It is going to grow back anyway might as well try it out. People chew the dead skin off of their fingers all the time, this is no different,she licked her lips with a pleading look.

‘No. That is way different. This is literal cannibalism. You can plead all you like I am not eating my own flesh.’

Spoil sport. I bet it would taste divine with butter and cream.

I ignored that. She was trying to make me hungry and unfortunately it was working. The soft white skin was blistered and had bubbles pockmarking the whole place. I peeled it off slowly, sort of felt like ripping a callous off, it did not really hurt. It seems my body had already abandoned it and severed all connections. The air touched the newly growing flesh and I shivered from the strange sensation. I stared at the skin in my hands. What the hell am I going to do with this? I can't just leave it lying around here. Not much else I could do, it found it's way into a small fire. It curled up turning black and the crustacean like smell filled the air.

Medavac followed the smell to beside me, “Who the hell is cooking lobster?”

“It's not what you think it is. It is me.”

“Damn you had my hopes up. You should keep this from people though, it is not normal.”

I smiled and pat him on the back, “Nothing is normal about me.”

He hit me back and we sniggered together. This got Chief's attention and he made his way over. “What is so funny?”

“Nothin',” We both looked away shiftily.

“I don't know what you two are up to, but keep it in moderation will you?”

“By the way... are we going to get sued for throwing cars and blowing up the street?” I asked, looking around at the rubble.

Chief replied. “No, they will file insurance claims.”

“Oh I see... wait there is Super insurance?”

“There are several plans actually.”

“Does that mean we are not held liable for damages?”

“Sort of. There is a fund however if you cause too much damages you will start getting bills.”

I thought it over, “Wait so they bill the good guys? What the fuck.”

“It depends. It more or less opens you up for legal action if it happens too much. Luckily for us this mostly only applies for the tactical teams who combat Villains since the things we handle are also covered by most regular insurances such as fire and catastrophe.”

Well you learn something new everyday. So I should try not to get caught up in any crazy Super clashes that level the city. After all I don't want somebody to sue my ass off. It seems rather stupid though to punish the heroes for trying to help. What about the fucking Villains? I mean they sure as hell don't have insurance and I am assuming that if you tried to sue them they would hunt you down and kill you or take back their shit. Wait, but then that would mean that the civis are just attacking the easy target, trying to recoup their losses. That is fucked up.

Note to self: If some asshole sues me make sure not to save him if he is about to get in deep shit. Let him rot and regret pissing off a hero who would have saved him otherwise. I never was a squeaky clean person anyway. I guess I know how to hold a grudge.