Chapter 88 - Demons Of Past
The world shattered you.
And I made it my mission to glue back your broken and shattered pieces.
-- Zhenyi.
"Regret. Regret it is now. Huh...She always brings out the best or the worst out of me. She has a way with words, and I was afraid she will make me speak the trust. The truth I have buried in the depth of the earth. Hence, the words I spoke, I regret them now, "Long Jie told the other person.
" Ah Jie, didn't you always say I brought you out of the darkness?" The man asked Long Jie.
Long Jie remembered. He always said these words' you brought me out of the never-ending darkness'.He still remembered the time when he first met him. The man who had become more than a brother to him was never once disgusted with him nor by his truth. He showed Long Jie what love and compassion were. Two emotions that were foreign to him. He was patient with Long Jie. It took Long Jie years to speak but the other man had never once complained.
"You did. You fought my demons and burned them to ashes. And that fire lit up my dark and grim world, " Long Jie finally said. How could he forget such an angel? Though he never agreed to be an angel, he was no less than an angel to Long Jie.
"Is it? Well, I don't remember such a thing." The man on the other side of the phone said.
"Brother--"
"No, Ah Jie, I showed you the light and it was your desire to escape the darkness that you killed your own demons on the way. But now Ah Jie, the demons are rising from the ashes, unfortunately, like a Phoenix, and your fears and guilt are acting as a catalyst. It took you years to reach where you are today. Don't reverse the progress you have made," the man spoke with authority in his voice.
Just because he treated Long Jie as a brother didn't mean, he wouldn't show his authority from time to time. Sometimes hard approaches were needed instead of soft ones.
"Show me the light again, brother. I am lost again. I am afraid, afraid that I will lose my words again more than I have already," Long Jie confessed.
Lost his words were not a metaphor Long Jie had used. It was true he lost his words once and the essence of his life too.
"You never lost your words, Ah Jie. It was never your fault. Do you get it? Never." The conviction and authority back in his voice.
A failure.
A mistake.
A weakling.
Ugly duckling.
These were the names Long Jie grew up with.
No matter how strong one is, he can't escape the clutches of twisted childhood. Childhood is a time for beautiful and wonderful memories but how do you survive when your childhood is the reminiscent of your worst time?
"Funny, how the man most feared and respected in the entire Long Clan is actually the weakest, who can't even keep his shit together." Long Jie let out a sigh.
Only if they knew he was weak, weaker than he let out. Only if they knew.
"Us mortals can not compete with the perfect immortals. Everyone has its own weaknesses and fears, and it doesn't make us weak rather it makes us humans. But it is up to us not to show our weakness and fears to the world. Once the weakness is exposed. Boom. Destruction. Someone out there is waiting for an opportunity, opportunity to destroy us."
"Hah... How my weaknesses these days are getting piled up! Zhenyi.She is my biggest weakness. Isn't it strange how she entered my life weeks ago, and now she has become a major part of it? "
The day Long Jie saw Zhenyi for the first time, he knew there was something different about her; an instant connection. The next time, he saw her at Xin mansion as his fiance, he felt relief with a bit of disbelief. He had always wanted a meek and docile wife, but he was not disappointed with what he had got. Heck, he was more than pleased. Their time at the mountain confirmed that she was more than just a business deal to him.
And today, he felt weak before her, her hurtful eyes and cracking voice pierced his heart like someone had stabbed him with a blade.
"If she is your weakness then she is your biggest strength too. As I have heard of her from you, I assume you care about her, more than you think you should." The man told Long Jie.
How bizarre was the fact he knew Long Jie more than Long Jie knew himself?
"Yes, more than I should." Long Jie honestly confined.
Long Jie couldn't refute there was no way he could refute the fact he cared for his wife more than he ever cared for anyone. And the fact was unsettling to him.
"Don't you trust her?"
Trust.
Did he?
Today he told her that 'for there to be betrayal there have to have trust first'. And he actually meant those words. Zhenyi said she trusted him but did she really?
However, he surprised himself by actually answering the question.
"I honestly don't know. She is a very simple character. If she hates you, she will hate you till her last breath and if she cares for you, she will walk heaven and hell for you. But I? I am not like her. I can not trust easily. I am afraid that she will be disappointed in me again because I will keep on breaking her trust again and again and one day she will be tired, too tired to trust me again, and that day will be the end of me. "
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