Chapter 158 - Hate And Love
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Long Jie stared out of the car window as the brilliant skyscrapers passed and the scenery outside changed gradually. A thought came to his mind? Where he was going? And where he wanted to go? The answer was a single word 'home'. It was a simple word yet held enormous weight.
How often we use the word 'home'? Some call the building they live in the home and some call the place they are from home. But one thing is clear that we all longed for a home and unfortunately not everyone is gifted with it.
Long Jie never experienced the warmness and fullness of a home. From the very beginning, he had been tossed around from one psychologist to another as he was not normal according to Song Lily's standards. He was dumped as if he was a worthless item lying in the grand mansion to dim its shine and perhaps it was true. Later, when he grew up a little, he was thrown out of the Long Mansion and the family. The boy who had yet to enter his teens had to grow up quickly to fend for himself in a place that was the hotspot of barbarity.
Years later, he returned to the Long family when his father, Long Shaoming had found him after great struggle and toil but he was not the same Long Jie they had lost. He was something new, something so complicated and tough that for a minute, they wondered if he was the same son who struggled to utter mere words. Now he didn't need words to express himself. He was just so capable and Long Jie knew who the credit for his life should be given to, not like that man would ever accept but still, he was indebted to him.
"Sir, we have arrived," the voice of the driver jerked Long Jie out of the memory lane. It was not every day he recalled such events but today...
Nevermind.
He exited the car and entered the hall where Cao Kung was waiting for him. Long Jie furrowed his brows as he glanced at the older man.
"Mr. Alex--"
Before Cao Kung could finish, Long Jie held up his hand to stop him as he was clearly exhausted; mentally and physically. Besides, he didn't want to concern the other person with this matter as he had already taken it into his own hands. It was very difficult for him to trust anyone now. Old loyal subordinate or not!
Who knows how many rats they had around them? They just need a rapid and effective pest control.
"Mr. Cao, where is Master Yichen?" questioned Long Jie as he remembered that he had yet to share some information with him.
" Mr. Long, Master has been resting. I believe whatever the matter is, it can wait until the next day," replied Cao Kung. He didn't want to wake up Xin Yichen, the man hadn't had a wink of sleep since the last night and now that he finally fell asleep, he didn't wish to disturb him.
"Of course, it can." Long Jie agreed. It was almost midnight now and what was the harm in waiting for another few hours? It was not like he was going anywhere leaving his wife here and sleep was the last thought on his mind.
"The doctor informed anything yet?" inquired Long Jie as he walked ahead with him.
Cao Kung sighed and shook his head. "No news at all."
Long Jie nodded. "You should rest now too, Mr. Cao. It's indeed very late."
Cao Kung nodded and left with a last lingering glance at him. 'Why he had to be the Long Shaoming's son? '
As Long Jie's feet could walk on his own, he reached Zhenyi's room. Before opening the door, he heaved out a sigh that seemed to have been stuck in his lungs and put a well-practiced smile on his face. He didn't want to give her the impression that he was a suffering bastard, didn't he promised himself that he wouldn't give in before her? He was Long Jie for crying out loud. Since when did he start moaning for a chick?
Shaking his head at the thoughts of his stupid brain, he laughed mirthlessly. Who he was kidding? If he was Long darn Jie, then she was Xin freaking Zhenyi and she had conquered his mind, body, and soul.
The door opened and he stepped inside, the smile on his face widened as his gaze fell on her beautiful yet pale face.' Look at her, how beautiful she looked while sleeping! If he didn't know any better, he would certainly say that she is a fairy descended from heaven just for him.'
Of course, it was important to add 'just for him'.
'Stop it,' Long Jie self-chided himself.
He had been trying to find the silver lining in the dark cloud. Although he knew she was comatose, his heart still refused to accept it. He was still adamant about saying that she was sleeping and everyone around her had been behaving as if she really was sleeping and could wake up anytime soon.
And just like last night, the doctors left the room to give them some privacy because they were aware that he wouldn't be leaving the room until sunrise. He hadn't closed his eyes for the last 36 hours and now his head was throbbing as if someone was hitting on it.
He longed to touch her but he was afraid that if he stroked her skin it might hurt her, given how the bandages were wrapped around her body.
"Do you know how happy I am that you are still asleep? " Long Jie asked her with a smile. "If you were awake, you would have definitely made fun of me! Such a miserable bastard I'm now."
"Wife, the day was really tiring and now I want nothing but to sleep," He said as his smile diminished. " But you have ruined me to sleep alone. I'm too used to you that whenever I think of sleeping without you by my side, I just could..."
His voice grew heavy and bruised. "I'm exhausted, Cat eyes. I am drowning without you and no matter how much I try to reach the shore, I just can't... He paused. " This feeling of emptiness and falling is too familiar. Too familiar that I know there is no bottom where I'm falling. I don't want to go back to those days. Those days whose memories that still lurk in my nightmares. Please wake up and save me."
Long Jie was answered by the expected silence. He sighed and just stared at her. He was ready to admit his insecurities if it meant she would wake up. He was a proud man but not too proud to ask for help when it came to her.
All that she had done was born in this world. Their world which was known for savagery. It was not her fault that she followed her father's footsteps, then why she was paying for something she had no part in? All she had suffered throughout all these years stabbed on him like countless knives. He knew what this world was capable of making you. He didn't want his child to grow up in the world he and Zhenyi grew up in. It was lavish and grand surely but it was just a facade to hide its actual darkness.
He lost one child but he wouldn't lose any other if he was blessed with one ever. All he had to do was eradicate every foreign or aboriginal substance that blackened this beautiful world and he, Long Jie, promised that one day, everything would be beautiful and profound.
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"Didn't you said you hate me and you will keep on hating me? " He asked her " Then please wake up and hate me because perhaps, I hate you too. I hate that you affect me so much. I hate that you can break me when I break for no man. I hate that I bend for you when I vowed to bend for no one. You have the power to lower me on my knees, Cat eyes. So, I hate you too, and wake up to tell me that you still hate me because, right now, I can't take your silence, even though it's coerced.
For the first time in her life, she could sleep without worrying, she could rest without any uncertainty and it wasn't only physical. The devil was behind her to capture her and take her with him, away from worries, away from torments, away from this world, and away from him.
He hated her silence. He hated uncertainty. And he hated her.
He glanced at her again, his eyes turning red as he asked, " Tell me how can I hate and love you with the same heart?"
This novel is a contracted work with W e b n o v e l. c o m (remove spaces). If you're not reading 'The Typhoon's Dangerous Wife ' on W e b n o v e l, it has been stolen. It's very heartbreaking to see pirates profiting from my hard work. Please support the original author,(tanu_sam).