Chapter 158 190 Asuka's Inner World

Astartes are not particularly skilled at reasoning with words; they prefer holding the truth in their hands and interrogating others on their loyalty.

When that foot came down, crushing the ruins within hundreds of meters, the so-called "waves of authority" were flattened instantly. Shinji represented the Emperor; his will was to be the will of all mankind. Whoever dared defy that will could take it up with his bolter.

Watching the hundreds of combat vehicles retreat in disarray, Misato Katsuragi found herself speechless. This was the first time Shinji had openly challenged the rules and disobeyed high-level orders.

"This is going to cause trouble. The higher-ups probably hate your guts right now."

"It matters not. This upheaval makes SEELE need me more than ever."

Shinji paused for a moment, then added with a faint smile: "Besides, after this, I can remove them at any time."

Shinji had never forgotten those old men. How much longer SEELE would be allowed to exist depended on three considerations: First, how their ritual materials were progressing. Second, whether their removal would cause global chaos and consume humanity's resources. Third, the extent of the Angels' transformation.

As for how long they could live—that depended on when Shinji decided they should die.

"You've found the old men?" Ritsuko Akagi was startled.

"Yes. SEELE used classified lines several times within two hours. They couldn't encrypt their addresses as effectively as before. Ryoji Kaji should be able to track them down now."

Everything was as precise as clockwork. This Angelic upheaval had so many secondary consequences that even Ritsuko felt a bit dazed. She knew what Kaji's mission was, but she hadn't expected it to be tied so closely to an Angel attack.

"Proclaiming your power to the world on the most perfect stage, turning panic into authority. Using the upheaval to let Kaji find the coordinates of those old men... killing two birds with one stone?" Her tone became fanatical. Shinji-kun was truly the strongest in every aspect.

"No, three birds. The upheaval will push the nations and SEELE to prepare more ritual materials, and perhaps it will give Kaworu Nagisa a hint on how to solve his puzzle."

'How is the Angel of Free Will involved in this?'

Right, such a perfect opportunity and He hadn't come to join the fray—that spoke volumes.

This exceeded Ritsuko's expectations again, but she calmed down. Seeing such a precise arrangement without a single ripple of emotion from Shinji made her wonder why she was the

only one getting excited. Shinji didn't offer a sinister smile; an Astartes was no battlefield brute—this was standard operation. There was nothing to be giddy about.

"We'll summarize the SEELE issue later. First, I'm getting Asuka out."

Shinji didn't think finding the old men's physical location was anything special; it was bound to happen sooner or later. The priority was bringing Asuka back.

Unit-01 approached Unit-02 with thundering footsteps. The plan was simple: use Shinji as a bridge, then use the resonance of Yui Ikari's similar existence to trigger Unit-02's machine spirit. By awakening the EVA, it would actively reclaim control of its body and cut Bardiel out of the neural chain.

And while he was at it, he would do a bit of "psychological construction" for Asuka to reinforce this glass cannon.

"Shinji, I've suddenly become a bit nervous." Yui Ikari's soul wavelength became rapid—a genuine sign of anxiety.

"I have this under control. You only need to trigger the resonance."

"No, no, it's not that. I just feel..." Yui paused, her tone turning playful. "Meeting the in-laws like this... isn't it a bit too early?"

.

.

.

A hospital?

Asuka felt as if she had entered a strange hallucination. Coming to her senses, she found herself running through a hospital corridor. Every day she would come here, peering through the crack in the door to see her mother in the patient room.

A beautiful woman sat on the bed holding a doll. She was actually using a spoon to feed the doll, spilling soup all over the sheets. Her face was full of maternal love as she repeated over and over:

"Asuka, eat well.

Don't be a picky eater. You have to grow up fast to protect Mommy."

The doll was the woman's entire world, every gesture filled with tenderness. But to the girl outside the door, it was like a knife to the heart.

"Mommy! I'm Asuka!" The girl pushed the door open, shouting hysterically.

The woman turned her head, staring at her with hollow eyes. After a few seconds, she turned back to the doll with that same loving gaze.

"What a strange child. Asuka, eat your food and ignore her."

Asuka trembled all over. She didn't understand why she was standing right there, yet her mother wouldn't acknowledge her. The looks from the doctors standing by the bed were even harder to bear. It was a look mixed with pity and arrogance, as if they were watching a monkey show. Several nurses observing the instruments shook their heads and whispered to the doctors.

"The experimental subject shows no emotional fluctuations. Agent 172 has no effect."

"Switch to Agent 173 then. The higher-ups want results quickly; we need to figure out what went wrong with the experiment."

"Is this girl really her daughter? Why is there zero emotional response?"

"Who knows. Theoretically, a blood relative should evoke a reaction."

The voices were low, yet they didn't shield the girl. Asuka clenched her fists. She didn't break down and sob like a normal little girl.

'Be strong, Asuka. You have to be strong. Don't let these people look down on you.'

She took a deep breath and feigned composure. "Mommy, I'll come see you again tomorrow."

She politely closed the door and left quietly. Not far away, she saw a handsome, gray-haired man holding flowers. She stopped, a flash of excitement on her face, and ran over.

"Papa! You finally came to see Mommy! The room is this way!"

The man stopped and turned. His face was full of cold indifference—an indifference that made Asuka freeze in place.

"Papa?"

"I'm busy. I don't have time to see a mental patient. I came specifically for you."

The man stared coldly at the girl. As a supplier for NERV's German branch, he was frustrated. His wife, the former head of the German branch research department, had gone mad during an experiment and was no longer of any use to his career.

Why bother seeing her? As for this daughter, she was a complete burden.

"For me?" Asuka asked timidly, sensing something. She was afraid.

"Yes. I've entrusted you to NERV. They are looking for test subjects—oh, orphans. Go. In the future, whatever those researchers tell you to do, you obey. Consider it a way to ensure my investment over the last few years wasn't a total loss."

The man left those words and turned to go.

"But... Asuka isn't an orphan."

The man stopped again, frowning, and spoke icily: "A person without value is an orphan. Because no one needs you—including that crazy woman."

With that, he left. The girl stood silently in the corridor as patients and doctors passed by, yet she seemed to be in a different world.

'A person without value is an orphan. Because no one needs you... including Mommy?'

Her azure eyes lost their light. Asuka didn't truly understand the nuance of those words, nor why her father hated her. She just felt the world was full of malice. Why did she have to be so alone?

She looked ahead and saw the man take the hand of an auntie in a white coat with long blonde hair. She recognized her—it was her mother's primary physician. She saw the man's face break into a passionate, gentlemanly smile. After handing her the flowers, the two leaned against the wall and kissed passionately, oblivious to anyone else.

'So, Papa knows how to smile, too.'

Asuka still didn't understand. Why was it her own mother, yet she'd rather feed a doll than look at her? Why was it her own father, yet he never showed her a smile?

She was too young to understand many things, but she didn't just cry or drift along like an ordinary child. Instead, she silently rehearsed her father's answer over and over, and a spark of defiance filled her eyes.

'Be strong, Asuka. If a person without value is an orphan, then I'll just become valuable!

Yes, I will strive. I will become strong. I'll make everyone who looked down on me apologize. I'll make Mommy and Papa love me again.'

The fire in her heart was lit. Amidst the pitying gazes of the crowd, she held her head high and marched away with the rhythmic clack of her small leather shoes.

From that day on, Asuka Soryu Langley never saw her father again, but she worked harder than anyone. While other children her age were playing, she was constantly training and studying. She skipped several grades in elementary, middle, and high school, becoming the "prodigy" other parents compared their kids to.

In NERV's training, she gave her absolute all. Her scores were "Excellent" across the board. Finally, those pitying gazes turned into looks of importance. The satisfaction of becoming stronger filled her heart.

Occasionally when she went out for a run and saw children playing with their parents, she would watch silently. Then she would conclude that these weaklings couldn't compare to her, and she would snort disdainfully.

'They're all idiots. Morons. Wasting time. I don't need to chase the things these brats like.'

As she ran, she grew up. Finally, one day, she passed the test and became the Second Child.

"Huh? Why am I only second? That one in Japan must have connections."

Asuka was dissatisfied with the result and felt immediate hostility toward the First Child she had never met, because she knew how much effort she had put in for this day.

'Fine. Second is second. Once Unit-02 is finished, I'll still be the strongest.'

She had absolute confidence in herself. Her first move was to go to the hospital, even though her mother hadn't acknowledged her once in all these years.

"But today is different. I've become a pilot. I'll be the hero who saves the world. I will absolutely be needed by everyone. This value will definitely make Mommy notice me!"

Asuka's steps were light and cheerful. Because she knew how hard she had worked, how much praise she had received—even the Branch Director called her a genius.

'This time, I'll definitely bring Mommy back!'

With total confidence, she returned to the hospital. The pain she had endured and the effort she had expended were finally at the moment of reward. She didn't want much—just one look of acknowledgment.

"Hmm? Why isn't she here?"

Asuka pushed the door open excitedly, only to see the bed empty. She swallowed the cheer that had risen to her throat. Her blue eyes snapped to the side—to a closed door.

Desperate to win everything back, she didn't have time to think. She placed her hand on the door. One light push, and she could tell her mother the good news.

But in an instant, she shuddered. The child in the glass reflection suddenly became a graceful young woman, as if she had traveled back from the end of time. The most painful scar in her heart triggered a defense mechanism, forcibly waking her from the dream of memory.

Chirp—chirp—chirp—

In Germany, where it was winter most of the year, the sound of Japanese-style cicadas suddenly drifted from outside the window. The girl's palm remained on the door; her pupils trembled, and sweat dripped down her face.

She was reliving her childhood nightmare. These were nightmares she wanted to forget but could never escape. In reality, these things had become faint after moving to Tokyo-3, but they had been dragged out again.

'Mental contamination?'

She knew what was behind that door. At the moment of her highest excitement—like a farmer who had worked hard and was finally about to harvest, only to be met with a crushing blow.

Yes, behind that door was the hell she could never forget.

'Run. I have to run. Quickly. I don't want to see this. I'm different now!

No, you're the same as before. Some things are bone-deep and unforgettable. You were meant to hate Shinji, hate Rei, hate Misato, hate Mommy, hate Papa, hate everyone. You're a freak.

No, no, no!'

Asuka wanted to clutch her head and flee, but she found her limbs were not under her control. With a creak...

The door opened.

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